A YOUNG WOMAN HAS REPORTED HER FLATMATE MISSING. THE POLICE HAVE BEEN TO TAKE DETAILS, WHAT SHE WAS WEARING, LAST KNOWN WHEREABOUTS ETC. AS SHE SITS IN THE FLAT, THERE’S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR, IT’S THE POLICE. THE FLAT IS IN DISARRAY, CLOTHES EVERYWHERE.
GIRL: Oh come in officer, is there any news?
OFFICER: Am I disturbing you?
GIRL: What? Oh the mess? I was just looking for something.
OFFICER: There has been a development miss yes. I’m afraid we’ve found a body down by the river. From the description you gave us we believe it could be your flatmate.
THE GIRL BECOMES HYSTERICAL.
GIRL: NO! It can’t be, why? She never hurt anyone.
OFFICER: Calm down miss, it might not be her. I’m sure there are 100s of one eyed, one legged green haired dwarfs living round here.
GIRL: Yes of course, look on the bright side you mean?
OFFICER: Exactly! You know it makes sense.
GIRL: Can I see it? The body I mean.
OFFICER: Yes of course you can. But I must warn you, she’s not pretty.
GIRL: Well I know she was no oil painting.
OFFICER: She’s received multiple stab wounds to the chest.
GIRL: It’ll put my mind at rest.
OFFICER: I understand, I’ll take you.
THE OFFICER AND THE GIRL ARRIVE AT THE SCENE. THEY WALK OVER TO THE COVERED BODY, THE OFFICER PULLS BACK THE SHEET TO REVEAL THE BODY OF A YOUNG WOMAN. THE GIRL BEGINS TO SCREAM.
GIRL: NO! NO! Tell me this isn’t true, why? Why me? I only bought that top yesterday, now it’s ruined...the bitch!
. Very funny sketch Ray. Loved the tag. Defo one for the laydez!
Hang on though, isn't it just slightly offensive? 
