1. There are more drones than pigeons flying above Trafalgar Square. They are commanded by a sculpture of a robot drone permanently positioned on the fourth plinth. It won the Turner Prize in 2027 before taking over and abolishing general elections.
2. There is a war between the United States of Europe and the ultra-nationalist countries which are members of the United States of Europe. Each side is fighting against fascism and the two armies are identical in appearance and membership.
3. The hobby of gender politics becomes redundant as everyone is now someone of all genders, all sexual orientations and all concepts of genders and sexual orientations. There is an epidemic of depression as people come to terms with just being people.
4. Driverless cars which replaced other cars in 2023 have a setback when their microchips find a taste for hard drugs. Scientists develop a clone of a reformed Janis Joplin. "She" opens a rehabilitation centre. To maximise safety, there's a 2 mph speed limit until the ex rock goddess and a team of androids with emotion can sort things out.
5. On 21 April, the Queen turns 104. To celebrate she visits every Commonwealth country by jetpack, ably supported by her husband, before visiting Queen Nicola at Holyrood House. Harry, Megan and their family relocate to Brixton's Railton Road to tackle land mine clearance while presenting the breakfast show on Grimecore Radio.
6. Other royal highlights include Charles and Camilla's environmental initiative, "How Tampons are Blighting Our Oceans", rumours that Beatrice and Eugenie are both dating Keith Lemon and William's splendid new wig provided by the estate of the late Elton John,
7. Meanwhile in Lancashire a court of Sharia Law rules that everyone should walk to the supermarkets naked to disprove that gender is a thing of the past. Scholars agree that all previous clothing requirements were merely a bit of a misinterpretation of the Koran..
8. The news industry is radically reformed so that it builds on trends noticed in 2018 to replace a range of news stories with only ones about terminal illness. Critics say it is like terrorism from an enemy within but the fear it creates very effectively reinforces state control. No one has the ability to move so lawlessness tumbles.
9. Mr Trump, who extended the maximum number of Presidential terms from two to six in 2022, announces that the US and North Korea will field a shared team at the next Olympics. On Jong-Un now being the governor of California, that's "just great - I've heard he's doing a lot for the vegans".
10. Following an earlier review when it was confirmed the Mexican wall should be in the form of nuclear weaponry, Pentagon officials deny it has been a waste of money and that record numbers of Latin people have flown to Canada before strolling into Maine and changing the name of its capital to New Mexico City.
11. A picture of the phenomenon is sent to London where it is placed alongside Blue Mink's 1970 pop hit "Melting Pot" and a burning cannabis plant. The installation wins the 2030 Turner Prize.
12. Second prize goes to "In Slow Motion", an artistic device attached by scientists to the north and south poles which has slowed the earth's movement to delay climate change, the death of classical music and the collapse of the National Health Service.
