INT - Bedroom - Day 10:40am
On the bed is LIAM, slightly overweight, mid 20s, asleep in a harshly sunlit room strewn across the bed width ways. He is topless but still wearing his white underwear, jeans around his ankles, one shoe on one foot and nothing on the other. He has dried and crusted white sauce in his matted chest hair.
A black and white cat walks across the room floor and jumps up onto the bed. The cat begins to lick the sauce from his chest.
LIAM stirs from his sleep and casually brushes away the cat.
The cat continues to lick LIAM's chest.
A landline phone rings from another room.
LIAM opens his eyes with a shot and jolts upright. He runs from the room closing the door behind him and quickly moves to the kitchen.
INT - Kitchen - Day 10:45am
He follows the sound of ringing erratically searching under the rubbish on the bench top for the house phone. He knocks over a can of lager which spills onto the counter and runs off onto his jeans which are now half way up his legs at his knees.
LIAM
AHHH! you bitch!
(answers the phone)
Hello.
(into the phone)
No Mam, I know that's today. It's not for like 3 hours, it's not even eleven o'clock yet.
(beat) No, I'm not still in bed! Why can't you just ring me on my mobile like a normal person ... What? (pause) no they don't give you cancer. You started smoking at fourteen I'm pretty sure your pay as you go isn't going to be the thing that takes you.
(pauses)
No, sorry. I'm not, I've just got a shock off the cat.
(pauses)
I know I don't have a cat, Mam.
(pauses)
well I don't know, do I? Look, can I ring you back I need to get ready and tell Dad thanks but I will just jump on the bus.
(pauses)
yes.
(pauses)
yes.
(pauses)
yes.
(pauses)
Shreddies.
(pauses)
yeah bye.
He hangs up and puts the phone down on the bench. He creeps towards the bedroom and stops to listen with his ear up to the door. Cautiously he opens the door and peers around.
The cat is eating from a discarded takeaway box of last night's kebab.
INT - bathroom - Day 10:50am
Liam peels off his wet jeans and underwear and opens the laundry basket to put them in. he looks at the item on top of the pile of dirty washing and pulls out a black roll neck jumper.
LIAM
Right. Ok. Perfect! This will work.
He then rifles through the washing basket in search of trousers.
LIAM
How can there be nothing but shorts?
He looks down at his legs clearly worried about them and scans the room.
INT - Kitchen - Day 10:55am
Liam is stood in front of the cooker with a bath towel tied around his waist. He picks up a tea towel and ties it around his head like a bandana. He then unrolls the neck of his jumper covering the entirety of his face to leave only a thin slit for his eyes to see out of. He picks up some oven gloves hanging beside the cooker and puts them on.
INT - bedroom - Day 11:00am
Liam slowly creeps around the bedroom door and approaches the placid cat that is still picking at the meat in the tray.
LIAM
Hello girl. you're a good boy aren't you? Yes you are.
He approaches the cat from behind and picks it up. holding it out in front and as far away from his body as possible. Liam walks slowly down the corridor and to the back door of his ground floor flat, opening it with his elbow. He crosses the yard and out of a broken gate which leads into a back lane. He walks into the middle of the street and places the cat down, backing away slowly and hunched over low to the ground for a few steps then stands up straight. He turns around to face his gate. A lady dressed in a burka, pushing a pram, turns into the lane.
LIAM
Afternoon!
(deliberately emphasising his head nod)
The woman looks him up and down disapprovingly.
LIAM
Oh! it's not my cat.
He turns, enters the yard and closes the gate behind him.
INT - Kitchen - Day 11:15am
Liam checks the time on his phone (11:10am) and begins half heartedly tidying the kitchen. picking up empty crisp packets and cigarette papers from his kitchen top (Shaking his head disapprovingly). He picks up a pile of empty lager cans and walks over to the bin pressing the pedal down with his foot and dropping them in. He walks over to the small table in the corner and looks at the items on the table, a full ash tray and 2 unopened cans of lager. He picks them up and puts them in the fridge. He looks at the calendar on the fridge as it closes. It has days crossed out, he picks up the pen stuck to the fridge and crosses off the previous day and looks at the present day (Thursday 2pm: Teaching Agency interview) He puffs out his cheeks.
His mobile phone rings. He picks it up from the counter and reads the call out loud. 'HENDA' wants to Face time with you. He answers the call and holds it up in front of his face.
HENDA, an overweight lad, mid 20s, is sat in a transit van wearing a high-vis jacket and a white hard hat.
HENDA
Ba Ba Ba Bopa! (sang to the tune of nothing recognisable) areet lad, how's the head?
LIAM
Mate, what the hell happened last night?
HENDA
haha, you were off ya chops is what. Nice jumper by the way.
LIAM
Seriously what did you do? The flat's a total mess! I woke up with a cat in my bed and my back gate is hanging off its hinges!
HENDA
Aright Terrence Trent D'arby chill out! It's nothing to do with me. If your cat (gestures at inverted commas with his free hand) was particularly rough last night I suggest you Sudocrem your back gate (gestures again) and move on.
LIAM
Shut up! Where did we end up?
HENDA
Well we had a few in yours. Then we went out for a few quiet ones.
LIAM
Quiet! I've just managed to get up.
HENDA
Soft arse! I've been on site since 6.
HENDA
(background shouting)bollucks! I better get back mate the gaffa is looking for me.
LIAM
Hold on ... who's (Call ends) cat ...
He puts the phone down and looks at the clock on his cooker (11:45am) and then Smells his armpits (winces).
LIAM
I need to get a move on here.
INT - bathroom - Day12:30am
Liam wipes the condensation from a mirror with his hand to reveal himself, dressed in a smart white shirt and a black tie, brushing his teeth. HE bends over and spits into the sink. he comes up and has a splash of white toothpaste on his tie.
LIAM
Bitch!
He dabs at the stain with the corner of a wetted towel.
INT - flat entrance - Day 1:00pm
Liam looks in the mirror and fixes his hair one last time. He is now wearing a black jumper over his white shirt, a thin rain coat and a bag across his shoulder.
EXT - flat entrance - Day 1:00pm
He backs out of the door, with his house keys in his hand and almost stands on a small dog on a lead.
LIAM
Sorry Betty! I wasn't looking. Sorry!
An elderly, kind looking woman, in a heavy coat, knitted hat and thick gloves. fumbles with a lead.
BETTY
Ahh, its fine. Neither was she.
LIAM
I've lived upstairs from you for 2 years and I never knew you had a dog, Betty.
BETTY
Aye, I don't take her out often though She's blind you see. I should be more careful, maybe it's time I shortened her lead again.
She holds up a retractable dog lead with the button secured down by an excessive amount of electricians tape.
LIAM
She is fairly cute though. Bless her!
Liam reaches down to stroke the dog. The dog snarls at him and snaps its teeth toward his hand. Liam jerks back and cowers slightly.
LIAM
Jesus!
BETTY
Ah Ahhh! you should never come between a dog and their bowl of feed, Liam.
LIAM
But she's not eating.
BETTY
Wey she doesn't know that, does she?
Anyway, how's the head today? You look surprisingly ok considering the state you stumbled down the back lane last night.
LIAM
(Wincing) Sorry, was I loud?
BETTY
Ahh don't worry about it. The back gate won't be as forgiven though I doubt. When our Tommy was alive he used to do the exact same thing. Every now and then he'd go down the ex serviceman's and roll in stinking of stout and covered in toast crumbs.
LIAM
Toast?
BETTY
Yeah. The chippy would do him toast when he had run out of money. They owed him as much. This little one (gestures to the dog) was theirs once, you see. But they wanted rid and our Tommy took her in. She kept drinking the old chip oil, she just loved the stuff.
LIAM
Chip oil! Do you think that's what made her go blind?
BETTY
Wey no! That's just old age. She was the model of health as a young pup. She'd run all day long and had a beautiful coat on her ... that probably was down to the chip oil though to be fair.
LIAM looks down at the old dog who is facing the wall.
LIAM
I promise I'll fix the gate as soon as I can Betty but I must be on my way.
BETTY
Aye, me too. You off somewhere posh?
LIAM
(looking down at his outfit) No, this is for an interview I have today with a supply teaching agency (looks at his watch) well in less than an hour.
BETTY
Where abouts?
LIAM
The high street.
BETTY
Wey if you hurry up there's a bus due in (looks at watch) 6 minutes.
LIAM
Cheers Betty and sorry again for last night.
BETTY
Don't worry pet and there's no rush to fix the gate it's not like she's going to find her way out.
She gestures at the dog who is still facing the wall.
Liam walks off quickly.
BETTY
Say bye bye, J-Lo.(Tugging gently on the dog lead)
