Thank you so for your reply Beaky and for your detailed reply Lazzard. I really appreciate your feedback and your criticism is really helpful and makes a load of sense .
I think I understand what you mean about avoiding describing things that have happened . Now you've mentioned it , it makes perfect sense and makes me consider building funny stuff as the central theme rather than just mentioning it in passing . So obvious but sometimes it needs someone else to see it!
Apologies for that garbled line ; no excuse that is just sloppy.
I have looked up stuff on the series bible etc and will make sure the script is much sharper etc before I send out.
After some further tidying I am thinking of sending it off for a bit of paid feedback .
Anyone used specific services that they would recommend? I am aware of Marc's