Will Cam once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 234
DaButt pretends he's American but in reality he's a plasterer from Leeds that's obsessed with Brat Pack movies.
Although Definitely Tarby is from Chipping Sodbury, he longed to be a scouser. He use to insist on being called "Definitely Yoko", but he can sing so no one believed him. His wife even calls him her Diddy Man, her little yellow submarine. He excelled at Liverpudlian studies at Uni, getting top marks for loathing London. Now he tells everyone he is Lisa Tarbuck's love child. Yeah right, like Lisa Tarbuck is funny enough to be a scouser, pull the other one (i.e. Cheryl Tarbuck).
Despite his name, Firkin can't take more than a tasting glass of ale. The last time he had half a pint, he attacked the vicar and threw up over the barmaid.
Beaky once sued Noel Edmonds for copying his hair style. Edmonds settled the case out of court.
In his teens Shrekinit ran away from the Circus to become an accountant. He says his parents couldn't give a flying f**k, which is a pity as I would have paid to see an act like that...
Harvey Weinstein offered Playfull a script read through in his apartment. Only to find he was offering a small none speaking part, of his body.
Firkin (under the guise of his alter ego 'Comedywriter Dude') has just landed a late night radio 4 show entitled a 'stream of unconsciousness'
It is rumoured that he has been road testing his character on the unsuspecting public in a quiet dusty corner of the internet.
True to his North Korean upbringing, playfull will once again attempt a re-launch of his Intercontinental Ballistic Comedy Hour this time on the Radio 3 Sunday morning Mosh Pit with Bernie Ecclestone and Dr Iziah Scrote.
39 years ago Hildegard Titweavil was in a cafe in Penrith when a 78 year old woman asked him to pass the salt. In doing so, the tip of his index finger momentarily came into contact back of her gloved hand. Wait til he sees the front of today's Daily Mail....... #Deadcomplainerstoo
Jeremy Kyle has dismissed Will Cam's claim that he only gave Lady Di the finger whilst waiting tables in Penrith. "It was in a glove at the time. " he protested. "She was still alive ! I think". Will "The lie detector is 100% correct !" barked Jeremy, who is a profuse liar himself so we will never know. But seriously, Prince Will Junior, bit of a give away.
Firkin's gender recognition skills failed him again last week at an annual awards ceremony at the Palace.
His eviction from the event by six burly Beefeaters' followed an impromptu display of shoulder slapping an old merchant navy colleague he'd not seen or heard from in 40 years, and the removing of said naval officer's sword from its scabbard in an attempt to recreate the old naval pastime of "buttering the buns".
Sadly, the officer turned out to be Queen Elizabeth II, dressed in full regalia after a previous visit by The King of Spain.
When asked to answer for his actions Firkin requested that the well documented uncouth behaviour of his hard of hearing great great great great great grandfather Philias Firkin also be taken into account who it was claimed, had been asked by Queen Elizabeth I, to go forth and circumnavigate "The Canaries" but instead proceeded to circumcise all the Queens pet male Corgi's.
A classic case of history repeating itself if ever I saw one.
A brief message from Hildegard Titweavil.
It's that time of year again. A time when we have to put aside our own selfish thoughts, our own petty jealousies and insecurities. A time when we can all come together to consider those others less fortunate than ourselves, those who have not - thorough no fault of their own - fulfilled their potential. Those who have failed life's test, those who feel left behind, unwanted, unloved.
Yes I'm talking about 'The Purge'! All round to mine for a 7 o'clock start. Don't forget your weapons!
"Your government thanks you for your participation."
Quote: playfull @ 10th November 2017, 3:14 PMA brief message from Hildegard Titweavil.
It's that time of year again. A time when we have to put aside our own selfish thoughts, our own petty jealousies and insecurities. A time when we can all come together to consider those others less fortunate than ourselves, those who have not - thorough no fault of their own - fulfilled their potential. Those who have failed life's test, those who feel left behind, unwanted, unloved.
Yes I'm talking about 'The Purge'! All round to mine for a 7 o'clock start. Don't forget your weapons!"Your government thanks you for your participation."
Playfull is the proud inventor of a mysterious gadget that looks like a bullet but it's actually a cherry flavoured lipstick.
Wacky clothes designer Kapow recently brought out a range of bombachas made entirely of corned beef. And she wonders why Stella McCartney snubs her.