Anything interesting from school? Or not? No biggie if not.

Does anyone have any funny/endearing/disgusting/horrifying stories from their school daze and teachers?

When I was 16 and thinking the band I was in would take over the world my GCSE history teacher took me and two of my band mates who were all in his history class to a rock night at a now defunct club called the Steering Wheel in Birmingham. It was about an hour away and he drove us there and bought us all a pint of lager in the club. I know that could sound bad because we were 16 but we looked and could behave when we chose to act older and looking back our teacher was trying to help us develop as a band by seeing the competition. What I remember the most is how speechless I was at the bands playing. It was like being at a club in 1980s LA when bands like GNR, Skid Row and Wasp were breaking out. All the bands looked and sounded amazing and we were all shocked at how shit we really were Welcome to the jungle springs to mind.

He was a great teacher who took no crap but still had respect and no-one would dare mess with him. He even has an appreciacion society on facebook set up by an army of admiring ex students. He went on to become a headteacher but more recently gave up education to spend more time doing photography.

Looking back and being able to analyze the situation properly, I now know I was dealing with a brute of a man who derived pleasure from physically hurting children.
He was a music teacher and a very good one. He taught me to read musical notation and play several instruments - something I have never forgotten. (surely the mark of a very good teacher)
Running parallel with this was an uncontrollable temper and red mist rage.

I had seen him hit pupils before and even like a comedy sketch, bash someone's head between cymbals.
Shouting was his normal voice and god help you if you couldn't keep the beat.
He never got the irony of him shouting louder and louder at a pupil 'diminuendo' when he wanted them to play quieter.

One day we were practicing singing a Hymn that included the line 'Sing with a well tuned heart'
My friend Alistair changed the word heart to fart - which to a 12/13 year old boy was hilarious.
I couldn't stop laughing.
The teacher stopped playing the piano and threw the board rubber at me as hard as he could
It came at me like a cricket ball fast and hard and hit me in the chest.
In all my young life I had never felt pain and shock like that. It was a violent action.
The rubber fell from my chest and into my hands and in a second, I had thrown it back.

My aim was far better and it struck him right on the temple.
Talk about 'Our Albert poking 't lion with a stick' he came straight for me pushing pupils, instruments and desks aside.
And then he actually started thumping me with his fists.

Natural instincts, adrenaline; I don't know but I tried to fight back. I was no pugilist but during the onslaught I hit him right in the throat and he went down like a shot horse.
He was laid on the floor struggling to breathe....

I was suspended from school for violent conduct pending an enquiry.

At the enquiry meeting with him, my parents, the headmaster and the board of governors he was telling a story of a disruptive pupil that threw a board rubber at him and then used a ghurka trick of hitting him in the throat ???

My mother made me open my shirt and show everyone the black bruise in the perfect shape of a board rubber.

It was like the dramatic moment in a TV court case when the jury is swayed in the opposite direction.

He was suspended and eventually either moved on or dismissed, I never heard.

These days - something like that would be in all the papers and maybe the news.
It was just brushed over and everything was back to normal.

I can top that. My junior school headmaster was a kiddy fiddler. The school council/board kept it all hush-hush and quietly asked him to resign (he received a polite, glowing send-off). Many years later, some of his victims reported the abuse. He was tried, jailed and then had his head kicked in (killing him) by another inmate.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 28th October 2017, 10:29 AM

The teacher stopped playing the piano and threw the board rubber at me as hard as he could

View original

Funny that it was pretty normal behaviour back then for an irate teacher to throw a heavy board-rubber at a pupil. I remember thinking it wasn't quite right at the time, but in the wider scheme things with teachers being pretty brutal to kids, we just accepted it.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 28th October 2017, 10:29 AM

Looking back and being able to analyze the situation properly, I now know I was dealing with a brute of a man who derived pleasure from physically hurting children.
He was a music teacher and a very good one. He taught me to read musical notation and play several instruments - something I have never forgotten. (surely the mark of a very good teacher)
Running parallel with this was an uncontrollable temper and red mist rage.

I had seen him hit pupils before and even like a comedy sketch, bash someone's head between cymbals.
Shouting was his normal voice and god help you if you couldn't keep the beat.
He never got the irony of him shouting louder and louder at a pupil 'diminuendo' when he wanted them to play quieter.

One day we were practicing singing a Hymn that included the line 'Sing with a well tuned heart'
My friend Alistair changed the word heart to fart - which to a 12/13 year old boy was hilarious.
I couldn't stop laughing.
The teacher stopped playing the piano and threw the board rubber at me as hard as he could
It came at me like a cricket ball fast and hard and hit me in the chest.
In all my young life I had never felt pain and shock like that. It was a violent action.
The rubber fell from my chest and into my hands and in a second, I had thrown it back.

My aim was far better and it struck him right on the temple.
Talk about 'Our Albert poking 't lion with a stick' he came straight for me pushing pupils, instruments and desks aside.
And then he actually started thumping me with his fists.

Natural instincts, adrenaline; I don't know but I tried to fight back. I was no pugilist but during the onslaught I hit him right in the throat and he went down like a shot horse.
He was laid on the floor struggling to breathe....

I was suspended from school for violent conduct pending an enquiry.

At the enquiry meeting with him, my parents, the headmaster and the board of governors he was telling a story of a disruptive pupil that threw a board rubber at him and then used a ghurka trick of hitting him in the throat ???

My mother made me open my shirt and show everyone the black bruise in the perfect shape of a board rubber.

It was like the dramatic moment in a TV court case when the jury is swayed in the opposite direction.

He was suspended and eventually either moved on or dismissed, I never heard.

These days - something like that would be in all the papers and maybe the news.
It was just brushed over and everything was back to normal.

View original

He sounds like the worst person to be a teacher so good on you for standing up to him and hopefully he left teaching after that. Right in the throat - love it Incredible he tried to blame everything on you as well. I've never known a music teacher to be that volatile but my GCSE music teacher was a shouter and the problem is just shouting at students isn't going to make them learn more and could just make them rebel and learn less.

I pissed off my head of year at school which I've always regretted because he was a sound bloke. His name was Mr Jackson and he was like a student's teacher instead of a teacher's teacher. One weekend I was going to a fancy dress party with some friends and one mate was dressed a a police officer because his dad was a copper so he borrowed his jacket and helmet (without permission). On the way to the party we were being twats as usual and pretending we were scrapping with this make believe police officer in a simulated riot scenario when someone pulled up in their car and jumped out shouting "I KNOW THEM OFFICER THEY GO TO MY SCHOOL". It was Mr Jackson and when my mate said hello his reply was "oh you bastards that's not funny" before getting in his car and driving off.

He never mentioned it but wasn't the same after that.

==========================================
The first day of my final year of high school (August 1980)
==========================================
It was a blazingly hot and humid day in south Florida, so I showed up for class in the same attire that I'd worn every day for two years: shorts and flip-flops. As soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk I was accosted by the new assistant principal, who informed me that I was in violation of the dress code for wearing shorts and flip-flops. He hauled me off to the office and called my mother.

VP: "DaButt's mother, your son will not be allowed to return to school until he wears long pants and a pair of shoes. He even claims that he doesn't own anything but flip-flops!"

MOTHER: "That's actually true. He has several pairs and they're all that he wears."

ME: "Regular shoes hurt my feet."

VP: "Then get a note from a poe-dee-AT-rist."

ME: "You mean a poe-DIE-uh-trist?"

VP: "Do you think you're smarter than me?"

ME: "Look at my IQ test scores. I'm quite certain that I am."

VP: "Get out of my office!"

I got a pair of "real" shoes, but it took me a few days to do so. Days that I spent at the beach.

=====================================
Monday of my last week in high school (May 1981)
=====================================
It was "Senior Shorts Day," so graduating students were allowed to break the dress code for one day. I wore shorts and flip-flops for the first time since the beginning of the school year. I was called to the office to pay a fine for an overdue library book, so I took a seat as the staff attended to several students. In walks the vice principal:

VP: "Ah-hah! They caught you violating the dress code!"

ME: "No, I'm just paying a library fine."

VP: "Doesn't matter. You're still in violation of the dress code."

ME: "It's 'Senior Shorts Day.' We're allowed to break the dress code today."

VP: "It doesn't say anything about wearing flip-flops! The violation is punishable by five whacks of the paddle, or five days of suspension."

ME: "I'll take the suspension, because I'm an 18-year-old man and there's no way you're going to spank me like a child."

VP: "The suspension includes all school events, including Saturday's graduation. You won't get your diploma and you will have wasted 13 years of time at school."

ME: "I've already taken all of my final exams and turned in all of my textbooks. Grades are finalized and there's no way you can prevent me from graduating. Instead of wasting my last five days goofing around in class, I'll just hang out at the beach."

VP: "Let's go call your mother."

VP: "DaButt's mother, your son is refusing to accept a paddling and instead says that he'd rather accept a suspension and not be allowed to attend the graduation ceremony. Surely you'd like to watch him receive his diploma?"

MOTHER: "If he doesn't want to attend, it's fine with me. We have a busy weekend planned anyway. And I don't blame him for not allowing you to spank him. That's ridiculous."

ME: "By the way, I want my $30 cap and gown payment refunded."

VP: "It's not refundable!"

ME: "Yes it is. I've never received it and I never will, so refund the money immediately."

MOTHER: "Yes, I expect an immediate refund."

VP (TURNING PURPLE WITH RAGE): "See the ladies at the office for the refund. Now get out of my office!"

I left the office and was met by the other assistant principal. She was a nice lady who lived on my street and she tried to defuse the situation.

OTHER VP: "I have an idea. I'll tell them that I'm going to paddle you. We'll go into my office and I'll just smack my desk five times. Walk out rubbing your butt and everything will be settled."

ME: "Thanks for the offer, but there's no way that I'm going to allow that guy to have the satisfaction of thinking that a grown man was paddled for wearing flip-flops to school. I'm outta here."

I returned to class and told the chemistry teacher that I was suspended and wouldn't be allowed to attend the graduation ceremony. He offered to try to work out a deal, but I told him that I was quite happy to take the last week off. I told everyone that I'd be at the beach while they were languishing in class and doing nothing.

ME: "Adios! I'll raise a beer to you guys for the next four days."

The night of the graduation ceremony my friend called me and said that he was going to skip the ceremony, too. His family were actually in attendance, so they were quite angry when he didn't show up. But we didn't care, we just drove around and had a nice smoke.

I picked up my diploma at the school the following week after one last denial effort by the vice principal.

THE END

I remember the blackboard rubber being hurled about plus slaps on the back of the head. I also got 6 of the best - why do they call it that? - for something trivial but also we had a real sadist called Stoker - Bram I'm sure it must've been - who gave me 6 with a cricket bat for something like forgetting my gymn kit.

I've only ever known spanking as something people do in porn films.
(Not that I've ever watched such things...)
So people actually doing it to kids in school sounds SO UTTERLY BIZARRE.

Quote: zooo @ 31st October 2017, 9:37 PM

I've only ever known spanking as something people do in porn films.
(Not that I've ever watched such things...)
So people actually doing it to kids in school sounds SO UTTERLY BIZARRE.

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This was in the 1970s. You have seen Life on Mars haven't you?

I can't say it didn't do me any harm because it probably explains a lot.

That was a great read Dabutt and within seconds I could see the VP like the VP in the film Mr Holland's Opus. A busybody who could never earn the respect of the students because of how they treat them. Thankfully I started school after corporal punishment had been outlawed and I can't see it happening now because the teacher would get shanked. Is paddling being used today in American schools or is all of that now banned? Whenever I hear the word I always think of this scene when Jasper helps out during the teacher strike.

A history teacher at my school (who never taught me) used to live next door in a houseshare. They were semi-detached houses and she actually lived in the adjacent room.

Occasionally, I used to hear the theme tune to 'London Tonight' through the walls, but it was bit *too* loud - almost as if she was doing it for show and was actually turning it onto Gamesmaster as soon as the music ended.