British Comedy Guide

Supermarkets. Page 5

I am very lost.

In Americaland Crackerjack is caramel covered popcorn in a red white and blue cardboard box with a few peanuts sprinkled in and a toy hidden somewhere inside. Usually an unidentifiable temporary tattoo.

Traditional baseball game food.

Quote: Davida @ 23rd September 2017, 11:27 AM

I am very lost.

In Americaland Crackerjack is caramel covered popcorn in a red white and blue cardboard box with a few peanuts sprinkled in and a toy hidden somewhere inside. Usually an unidentifiable temporary tattoo.

Traditional baseball game food.

They sound delish and I'm going to have to see if I can get them here. Matthew McConaughey is eating them during a scene in Contact and I thought they were a cereal like cornflakes but anything coated in something sweet has to be worth trying. He finds a compass in the box which he gives to Jodie Foster and it saves her life later in the film.

I was fuming today when I was short changed in a 99p shop. The girl that served me apologised and gave me the difference and I didn't make a big deal out of it but when someone is using a cash register all the time they shouldn't be making any mistakes with money. I could tell by her reaction that it was an honest mistake and she was probably not concentrating and too busy thinking about a night out on the town with her girl pals but I'm sure there are people who make a nice little earner short changing customers so they can skim it off without raising suspicions in the cash office. So many people take change and put it straight in their pocket and it's almost like a British paranoia that it looks rude if you scrutinse your change and you're suggesting the member of staff is stupid and certain to get it wrong. I can see a Monty Python scene in that :D

They sell toffee popcorn here. Oh sorry, caramel..boiled burnt sugar anyway.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 23rd September 2017, 6:52 PM

They sell toffee popcorn here. Oh sorry, caramel..boiled burnt sugar anyway.

You're in the UK so it's toffee, besides how is Davida going to pass the immigration test if she can't name products by their English name. The lass wants to learn.

On a lighter note - what's with this new avatar looking like a local butcher posing for his council election poster/handout leaflet.

If I am elected, I will save your bacon.
Resolve any beefs
Meat with you all regularly
And won't be mutton Jeff to your needs.

And give me a nice joint when I need it presumably.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 23rd September 2017, 5:50 PM

I could tell by her reaction that it was an honest mistake and she was probably not concentrating and too busy thinking about a night out on the town with her girl pals

Or fantasising about mowing down all the patronising customers she has to be polite to.

Another shopping trip another check out folly today. I bought four items in a poundland shop and at the checkout the chap asked if I wanted a bag and because I wanted a bag I agreed to introducing a bag in to the transaction which costs 10p. Here's the funny bit...there was a barcode slip next to the till that they scan instead of the bag because it's easier but instead of picking that up he picked up a tube of toothpaste which was £2 and I saw the till display show this when he scanned it. After scanning all the items this meant he asked for £6 from me instead of the correct sub total of £4.10. I pointed out his error and we did laff round the pool. Probably an absent minded mistake and the toothpaste was left there from a previous customer who thought it was only £1 being a poudland shop.

This is why I always use the self-service checkouts. You can keep an eye, item by item, on what you're being charged. Because I also find that they try to con you with special offers by putting the notice under a nearby item on the shelf so that you pick up the wrong one, which is not on offer at all. Or, although it is on offer, the tills have not been updated and they still ring up the old price.

Self-service checkouts also avoid the necessity of human inter-action, which I find no bad thing.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 24th September 2017, 6:28 PM

This is why I always use the self-service checkouts. You can keep an eye, item by item, on what you're being charged. Because I also find that they try to con you with special offers by putting the notice under a nearby item on the shelf so that you pick up the wrong one, which is not on offer at all. Or, although it is on offer, the tills have not been updated and they still ring up the old price.

Self-service checkouts also avoid the necessity of human inter-action, which I find no bad thing.

Same here and I always go for the self service if I just have a few items so I can take my time and make sure all the prices are what were advertised especially items on offer. I think some stores can be sneaky because there's a small Tesco shop that is too small for self sevice checkouts and the staff there never offer the receipt. They will give you the change and will put the receipt in the bin instead of giving it to you and that isn't the norm. You have to ask for the receipt or you don't get it so it's clearly how the management have trained staff. It just so happens this store also has pricing errors all the time and items that should be on offer such as two for one or half price don't scan at that price at the checkout so unless you notice at the time it will often go unnoticed especially if you don't get the receipt. It happend to me once to often at that particular Tesco shop and I felt like complaining but couldn't be arsed and they rely on lazy people like me who have been wronged but are just a fraction too bone idle to do anything about it. The shop is less than a mile from a much larger Tesco store so they probably have to rely on tricks like that to stay above water but I feel ripped off when I buy a multi pack of crisps because they are half price but notice later I was charged full whack.

I heard a funny exchange today in Iceland of all places. I only went in looking for 1kilo bags of Tilda rice and had to leave empty handed but heard this between a customer and member of staff which tickled me.

customer: "Scuse me, have you got any ice?"

Staff: "Frozen ice?"

It was more of a knee jerk response than a question which I found delightfully British.

I always take the receipt as proof that I've paid. I've twice been stopped at the exit of supermarkets - the first time when I just nipped in, found they didn't have what I wanted and went straight back out again and into the betting shop next door. The store detective came in the betting shop and asked me to step outside because he thought my behaviour suspicious - I hadn't even picked anything up. I complained to the manager. The second time (a different shop) was fair enough - I was carrying 3 or 4 items out without a bag as my car was parked outside. I was able to show the receipt and everyone was happy. If I hadn't taken it, there would have been problems.

I bought some sandwiches and associated food in a busy outlet at a London railway station, which had a security guard on the door. The cashier asked me if I wanted my receipt. I felt like saying, no I'm just going to carry these past your security guard with no proof that I've paid for them. Of course I want the receipt!

My debit card wouldn't work once many years ago at the supermarket checkout, but what worried AND annoyed me was the impression the staff gave that I was trying to use a dodgy card, despite the fact that I shopped in there every week.
The people behind me in the queue were not only annoyed at the delay but looked at me like I was some criminal. I was spitting nails and told the staff the same, which they had to profusely apologise about eventually when the card suddenly started to work.

But you do have to be careful - I remember many years ago picking up a Mars bar in a shop and for some reason, which I cannot fathom I slipped it in my pocket. I realised what I had done in about 10 seconds and was horrified at what the consequences might have been if it had been caught on camera and I hadn't declared it at the till.

When my children were little I once walked out of a supermarket with a huge pack of pampers hanging from the trolley handle. (They wouldn't fit in the trolley)
I forgot to send them through and packed everything in my car.
It only struck me later that I had innocently stolen them.
That could have been very embarrassing.

I was in a poundland store today and the staff had stopped a woman on suspicion of shoplifting (Gloucester city can be such a shithole) and were having a big row with her in the corner of the store and because so many staff had got involved it meant there was only one person on the tills and a massive queue had built up. Where the hell is the manager at times like that to co-ordinate everything instead of completely forgetting the shop is full of customers waiting to pay for stuff.

And shops like poundland/99p stores/pound world etc always have only one person on the tills when they are closing between 5pm - 6pm even though they can get a lot of customers popping in after work around that time and causing large queues at the tills. F**ks me right off.

I just got back from my local supermarket, H-E-B (stands for H. E. Butt Grocery Company) and thought I'd take a photo of the UK section of the "international" aisle. Here ya go:

Image

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