Quote: BTF @ 25th September 2017, 11:42 AMThanks. Where was this information?
Newsjack 2017 Page 32
Pleased I'm not the only one. Was so close to not having any sketches (actually over quota with one liners so no idea what's happened there).
Promised myself that I'd send two sketches every episode so I'm glad I've not messed that up.
Good luck everyone.
Quote: Stobbart42 @ 25th September 2017, 1:38 PMYep. I'm struggling for one-liners. No inspiration.
It's tricky because in a world with Brexit and Trump, inspiration shouldn't be a problem. But sometimes it's really tedious having to write about them all the time. And it's not as though you can afford to ignore them, because the whole point of Newsjack is topicality.
Quote: Damian B @ 25th September 2017, 5:11 PMIt's tricky because in a world with Brexit and Trump, inspiration shouldn't be a problem. But sometimes it's really tedious having to write about them all the time. And it's not as though you can afford to ignore them, because the whole point of Newsjack is topicality.
Yes and it's tricky as Newsjack advice tends towards avoiding big stories. I have done one on Trump and Kim which I know is a mistaken choice. I bet Angela covers the story which I wrote about or 100 other people will have done this topic.
Quote: BTF @ 25th September 2017, 5:45 PMYes and it's tricky as Newsjack advice tends towards avoiding big stories. I have done one on Trump and Kim which I know is a mistaken choice. I bet Angela covers the story which I wrote about or 100 other people will have done this topic.
What's more, there are often smaller stories stories that relate to sex that are a fruitful source of jokes, yet sadly wouldn't be broadcast on the show.
One example this week is the story about a couple in Scarborough who had sex in a pizza shop. Lots of easy jokes there, but moost of them would probably get rejected.
Over the last two weeks they've done both a "massive cock-up" and "penis/member" joke, but I'm sure they will apply double-standards and not use my brilliant boob one-liner this week. Shameful sexism!
Quote: Damian B @ 25th September 2017, 6:18 PMOne example this week is the story about a couple in Scarborough who had sex in a pizza shop. Lots of easy jokes there, but moost of them would probably get rejected.
Ah yes:
Were you having the "stuffed crust", madam?
Is that enough pepperoni sir?
The "Saudi Women's Brains are 25% the Size of Male Brains" was tricky as well because, while the story itself is risible, addressing it seemed to be quite risky.
After several stops and starts over the weekend, I abandoned the story as being just too fraught before I finally bashed out a quick one this morning.
Quote: Bigger Piece @ 25th September 2017, 8:19 PMAfter several stops and starts over the weekend, I abandoned the story as being just too fraught before I finally bashed out a quick one this morning.
And Did you then write some jokes? 
Maybe with the couple in a pizza shop it is also as it is a court case. I think they are to be sentenced but I have not checked.
I wonder if they were asked if they wanted the full works when they ordered. I will shut up as my mind is starting to boggle.
The trouble is Trump and Brexit jokes are all just variations of other Trump and Brexit jokes we've heard 100 times just reworded to fit whatever the latest headlines happen to be. They're guaranteed never to make me laugh out loud.
Now Tenner lady, that made me laugh. I want to hear more like that, and I want to be able to come up with jokes like that.
[EDIT]
Sent some one-liners.
I've gone for some silly ones this time.
I think the "tenner lady" joke is currently the high water mark for this series. Good work whoever wrote that
I told that joke to my colleague who is a Canadian. She pointed out that the Queen has actually been the tenner lady longer than Jane Austen. I was like 'Hmm. Good point."
Sent off the oneliners.
The tenner lady joke was great indeed. I was thinking about why?
Topical, original, not too long, unexpected, just a little bit risky and rude (R&R), slightly anti-establishment, a bit of juxtaposition, a great play on words, maybe made us a little bit embarrassed, used slang to bring the joke down to a level that everyone relates too??, the punchline was about half the length of the build-up? had that lovely millisecond where the brain enjoys figuring it out, well placed in the segment? and everyone laughed which also helps.....anything else you can think of?
I heard one on the News Quiz the other night about Trump that I thought was also brilliant, simple but brilliant. Went something along the lines of: "Donald Trump is the new Adolf Hilter, which is a big disappointment for all those hoping it would go to a woman"
Thoughts...
I sent off my one liner, only one this week as I have been too busy with other stuff. Although my one liner was about a boob too so perhaps that will be a common submission this week. Actually just seen the pizza story and there are loads of one liners for those which you never know could get in, parmesan cheese comes to mind...