Excellent advice and suggestions on Number Crunchers from StephenM!
Newsjack 2017 Page 22
Quote: Damian B @ 13th September 2017, 1:52 PMYou're right about disregarding the number. Next week I'll try to find a topical joke and bolt a number onto the end of it. I guess that was my mistake - being led by the number and not joke.
I like your joke about the Twitter grammar police. Don't you just hate people who can't spelle or punctua;te?
I like bolting on a number. I wrote two number crunchers about PewDiepie using his number of subscribers in one and his net worth in the other. Then there was one about the latest Liam and Noel Gallagher bust up using the audience size at the Manchester gig. Only one of these got sent in though.
I came up with a twist on a very tired classic joke that made it much funnier when in the Number Crunchers format. No way they'll use it on the show. Look out for it in the inevitable "Newsjack Rejects" thread on Friday!
Quote: tigerbailey @ 13th September 2017, 2:00 PMWhat's Newsjack's target audience?
You are.
If you don't find what you write funny, no one will
I wonder what the listening figures are? Late Thursday evening on Four Extra isn't exactly a prime slot!
Quote: Mike X @ 13th September 2017, 5:55 PMI wonder what the listening figures are? Late Thursday evening on Four Extra isn't exactly a prime slot!
Who knows? Who cares?
Quote: Damian B @ 13th September 2017, 1:52 PMDon't you just hate people who can't spelle or punctua;te?
I always abide by grammar laws. Them's the rules, innit.
5689567964976539653286953967497349756243143127543: number of hours I've spent dicking about on line.
0: Number of people who give a f**k I've spent 5689567964976539653286953967497349756243143127543 hours dicking about on line. .
- 86549746938653967497653865236974076496536740946539764093486523695368523857659745963596543963953698: Number of useful things that have come out of my 5689567964976539653286953967497349756243143127543 hours spent dicking about on line.
Quote: Mrkgrngr @ 13th September 2017, 6:38 PMWho knows? Who cares?
I don't know. I do care. Hope that helps!
Quote: Mike X @ 13th September 2017, 7:14 PMI don't know. I do care. Hope that helps!
Yes. Yes it does.
It's been on a good while anyway.
Quote: tigerbailey @ 13th September 2017, 2:00 PMWhat's Newsjack's target audience?
This forum 
Hi all
I was at tonight's recording. It was a really great show 
I'm putting below all the sketches I can remember- I'll update as I remember more:
Trump holds press conference re Irma
School tries to persuade parent of student who fails AS's to leave
Stealth drinking
Jacob Reece Mog changes a nappy
Murdoch takes over everything
Theresa May writes to Santa
Catios- cat rents out a room (this was hysterical)
Corbyn can't decide what he wants at a restaurant
John Lewis unisex kids clothes / dinosaurs
.....
MORE
Clowns / woman with phobia
L'Oreal advert
Quote: Bonzo @ 13th September 2017, 9:34 PMTrump holds press conference re Irma
Whoa, I did a Trump/Irma press conference sketch! But I'm sure they got dozens of them... any chance it had anything to do with the shooting at Irma news story?
Thanks Bonzo
Also sketch on robot teachers.
Strong one liners too. Well done to anyone who had work performed on the recording. No obvious cuts.
That's an awful lot of sketches?!?! They usually only broadcast 4 or 5 on the actual broadcast if I remember rightly. Does that list include one-liners as well? Thanks for the info!