British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,942

Quote: DaButt @ 3rd August 2017, 8:29 PM

Politics in the United States has become a multi-billion dollar industry, and all of that money corrupts just about anyone. The fact that Bill and Hillary Clinton made hundreds of millions of dollars after he left office was the biggest reason that she wasn't elected. Twice. Although her comment about the "deplorables" was what sealed her fate.

.

Maybe you should have a Royal family!

Quote: Chappers @ 3rd August 2017, 9:51 PM

Maybe you should have a Royal family!

I'd prefer a Royle family. ;)

Americans are sick of dynasties. Hillary Clinton was supposed to be president, and her daughter is being groomed for the same role. I'm pretty sure that we'll see Michelle Obama following in Hillary's footsteps in the next few years.

Quote: DaButt @ 3rd August 2017, 10:08 PM

I'd prefer a Royle family. ;)

Americans are sick of dynasties. Hillary Clinton was supposed to be president, and her daughter is being groomed for the same role. I'm pretty sure that we'll see Michelle Obama following in Hillary's footsteps in the next few years.

Lawyer who couldn't make enough money to sate their greed and so screws the country for every penny they can get via politics - we had one. Bliar, a male Hillary.

Quote: keewik @ 4th August 2017, 8:47 PM

No, just stupid. For all you boast about being a member of Mensa - God help you, you' ve PAID to take the test so of course they'll tell you you're brilliant.

I've never boasted about being a member of Mensa...because I've never been a member of Mensa. My score on a college entrance exam 35 years ago is sufficient for membership, but I've never paid for it because I have no desire to be a member of such a club.

Quote: keewik @ 4th August 2017, 8:47 PM

Wake up!

It's only 3:15 and I'm wide awake. Getting ready to drive my friends to the airport and then it'll be time for a few beers with my neighbors.

Quote: keewik @ 4th August 2017, 9:48 PM

Sorry but you DID say not that long ago that you were a member.

Your memory is not as good as you think it is. Here's my original post from February:

Quote: DaButt @ 25th February 2017, 3:14 PM

Myself, I'm Mensa-level on the intelligence scale and I don't watch "reality" shows. I don't watch Fox News and I don't read rightwing websites.

Quote: keewik @ 4th August 2017, 8:47 PM

What the Hell does that even mean? Incomprehensible. You're just trying to be a smart arse US arse licker. Maybe you think he'll give you a cheap holiday or something.

For what it's worth, my own constant fawning over Dabutt (agreeing with him on guns, politics and water divining) is indeed motivated solely by the hope of receiving a cheap holiday in Philadelphia.

As for the cryptic post about "glass houses", it's a reference to the little-known fact that St. Margaret's Chapel in Edinburgh was originally built from glass by the Roman Highlanders Craft Guild, but the whole thing was eaten by vitro-termites in 390 AD, then rebuilt from stone as we know it today. Hope that clears things up.

Quote: DaButt @ 5th August 2017, 12:00 AM

my original post from February:

But I'm pretty sure you DID once mention the squirrels have carried away all of the peaches. Which would have made her argument much more convincing.

Hats off to John Kelly. He's got Trump by the balls and is making him behave (at least as well as anyone can make Trump behave).

I have never wanted to appear scary or unusual as I'm very ordinary on the surface,

But I said on the internet after I was forced out of my job by the Government and my health went downhill that it had made the gravest of errors.

It was on Digital Spy, I think, among other places.

I just made the point that the day after I died there would be nuclear armageddon and every one would be destroyed but not by me.

By their own crassness.

It isn't a prediction. It's just something you sense from the days in your pram. People thought I was barking but for four solid years I was watched.

Haven't got a clue why - the damage was done - and now it looks inevitable.

Korea and that.

Call it the second coming if you want to. I'm not that grandiose. Was just born to symbolise the Book of Revelations.

(I'm not a fool - the powers that be will be reading this and really getting worried - sorry, you can't do anything, nor can I, but it won't affect me so get a brain and sort the real issue out properly not that you can - it's so sad, we won't get a state pension but only yours will be lost to Asian radiation (and your offspring of course))

Daddy....what did you do in the war?......whoops, looks like we've all just fried!

Quote: A Horseradish @ 8th August 2017, 2:51 AM

I just made the point that the day after I died there would be nuclear armageddon and every one would be destroyed but not by me.

In that case i hope your real name is 'Methuselah'.

So some slapper pretends to be kidnapped and sold as a sex slave on eBay - pathetic publicity. If she's no f**king good a modelling she should go and get a job at the local Coop.

Quote: playfull @ 8th August 2017, 9:17 AM

In that case i hope your real name is 'Methuselah'.

No actually I was christened Vladimir Jong Wayne - Kim was only added several months later.

.......when they parked their helicopter on my roof in 2013 I did explain that I was just a symbol of doom and in no way would ever be responsible for it. That was when they received the leaflet "Protect Your Pets and Give Them The Strength to Survive" that I had especially written for them in green ink. Well, you know the rest........it became the year's best selling publication and every kennel was fitted with an upturned table. That's why there are so many flat dogs around. It wasn't that they were ironed.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 8th August 2017, 10:52 AM

So some slapper pretends to be kidnapped and sold as a sex slave on eBay - pathetic publicity. If she's no f**king good a modelling she should go and get a job at the local Coop.

That's the problem with the media now - total fantasy world even when it comes to big breasts.

I hope Krazy Kim has a reasonable-ish blackmail request (tons of rice, the latest Playstation games, etc.) in order to halt nuclear weapons testing, because this news report from the Washington Post makes it look like he's a problem which will have to be dealt with. No nukes will fly in a conflict (hopefully) but I wouldn't want to live in Seoul if things heat up.

North Korea has successfully produced a miniaturized nuclear warhead that can fit inside its missiles, crossing a key threshold on the path to becoming a full-fledged nuclear power, U.S. intelligence officials have concluded in a confidential assessment.

The new analysis completed last month by the Defense Intelligence Agency comes on the heels of another intelligence assessment that sharply raises the official estimate for the total number of bombs in the communist country's atomic arsenal. The U.S. calculated last month that up to 60 nuclear weapons are now controlled by North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. Some independent experts believe the number of bombs is much smaller.

The findings are likely to deepen concerns about an evolving North Korean military threat that appears to be advancing far more rapidly than many experts had predicted. U.S. officials last month concluded that Pyongyang is also outpacing expectations in its effort to build an intercontinental ballistic missile capable of striking cities on the American mainland.

And who are North Korea telling this to?
Are they having a laugh by giving different numbers to different people.
Because NK are an open book.

Maybe the media are just guessing. A guess this week, a true fact next week....let's nuke em.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 8th August 2017, 7:10 PM

And who are North Korea telling this to?
Are they having a laugh by giving different numbers to different people.

The warnings come from government intelligence agencies, not the North Koreans, and they will have been sourced from dozens (or hundreds) of different sources in order to obtain as complete a picture as possible.

I'd reckon that ever single byte of telemetry from every missile launch is hoovered up by a multitude of listening platforms, and is then pored over by analysts for clues to the missiles' capabilities. I'd also reckon that intelligence agencies have tapped into sensitive computer systems and inserted themselves into the supply chain in order to slow development as much as possible. Numerous spy satellites are flying over North Korea every few minutes and I'm sure that the CIA has been working feverishly to recruit spies over the last decade or more. There have also been several defections over the last 15 years.

Another factor would have been knowledge of how long it took other nuclear nations to break out with nuclear warheads. As technology advances, the time frame decreases. It's even easier when you have guys like this who are willing to sell their secrets to the highest bidder:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abdul_Qadeer_Khan

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 8th August 2017, 7:10 PM

Maybe the media are just guessing. A guess this week, a true fact next week....let's nuke em.

Before we discount the reports from intelligence agencies and the Washington Post, it's worth remembering that those two entities have been at war with Donald Trump since his campaign was announced. All of the stories and leaks about Russia, etc., have come from those same sources. They're either believable, or they're not.

And nobody is getting nuked...at least not by a first strike from the United States.

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