In their old series yes.
They don't seem to do it anymore. 
Affair? Page 2
Quote: zooo @ March 5, 2008, 10:47 PMIn their old series yes.
They don't seem to do it anymore.
They don't do much comedy either, do they?
I gasp.
And they'll never be in your sitcom now. You've burned your bridges!!
Quote: Tarquin Lyn @ March 5, 2008, 8:55 PMUnfortunately this seems to have misinterpreted. It's supposed to be unexpected with the first man punching first, the second man has seen this coming and is one step ahead.
Make any more sense? Constructive criticism is welcome.
Its far too subtle I think Tarquin. Maybe a better ending would to to have the man shout 'how could you' and the 'other man shout in a slightly camp voice 'i was lonely!' Something like that. Similar to yours but its much easier for the audience to work out what is going on.
Quote: Tarquin Lyn @ March 5, 2008, 8:55 PMUnfortunately this seems to have misinterpreted. It's supposed to be unexpected with the first man punching first, the second man has seen this coming and is one step ahead.
Make any more sense? Constructive criticism is welcome.
Sorry but some times constructive critique is harsh critique. With comedy, people either get your joke, or they don't. If they don't get it initially, then there's not an awful lot else you can do. Why not try one of your other skits?
The one thing a comic can't do is argue, with their audience.
but its also important to ascertain whether its a joke people haven't got or if its just not funny.
it seems Tarquin is playing on the fact that we expect man 1 to punch man 2 but man 2 gets in first. thats not ever going to be that funny in a context where we expect some sort fight anyway. if the wife landed the punch it may be funnier, even if the man punched the wife....but putting two men in a fight situation and laughing over gets in the first blow doesnt work.
Quote: ajp29 @ March 5, 2008, 11:51 PMIts far too subtle I think Tarquin. Maybe a better ending would to to have the man shout 'how could you' and the 'other man shout in a slightly camp voice 'i was lonely!' Something like that. Similar to yours but its much easier for the audience to work out what is going on.
I like that twist, AJP.
That's a genius twist
And he should punch the woman.
Then they should both fukk her whilst punching each other
and then it could be revealed that it was all just R Kelly's dream.
Does R Kelly widdle on an underage girl in this skit?
Other way round I think and I'm sure I heard it was in fact a immaculately waxed chimpanzee
tarquin. I see where you're coming from but the other guy punching first is just random. random can merit a laugh or two, but for your sketch to really work, the reason he's punching first needs to be revealed and for that reveal to be 'funny'.
contrast your sketch with this short using a similar (well worn) premise. For me this twist is much funnier.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=pz4UahkhcW0
What if nobody punched anybody and man 1 said
'I'll put the kettle on'. or
'I'll get an ash tray, she always smokes after sex' and man 2 explains he's a gigalo and so this is effectivly his work place and therefore it's illegal for her to smoke until he leaves. Now I've lost it.