British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,722

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 27th May 2017, 12:31 AM

I'm going to refrain making a wide aisle/USA gag. Doh!

A mate went on honeymoon to Texas and when I asked what it was like he said it was surreal because of all the people he met that were really nice and friendly while openly carrying guns. He said he was at a supermarket and a truck pulled up with some guys carrying shotguns on their sholders who just strolled in to buy something before driving off.

I've lived in Texas for 11 years and I've yet to see anyone openly carrying, even though it's legal. Long guns are ubiquitous in remote areas during hunting season in the winter, but not in stores.

People are definitely friendly here and many of them are likely carrying guns, but you'll never know because they keep them concealed.

I've had two people try to start fights with me during my 4 visits to England, but I don't think I've ever had it happen in the States. My singular experience certainly isn't definitive proof of a difference between our societies. If anything, I'd blame it on public intoxication. It's frowned upon in our post-Puritanical American society, but it seems a bit more common in the U.K.

I should have mentioned that he said they were hunters and not people walking around with guns trying to look menacing. He said he could tell straight away and it seemed like a normal moment. Not like that scene at the start of Another 48 Hours.

On behalf of every other decent and welcoming British person I'm sorry for the encounters you had with a small minority of mindless idiots who cannot handle their drink. It is definitely becoming a bigger problem in the UK and one reason is there is no real deterrant. I watch the police documentories about what they have to put up with on a Saturday night and most of the time some lout causes havoc in a pub or club, the police are called and arrest him and take him to the station and he then gets released the next morning without charge or if he is given any kind of punishment he's given an £80 fine. Big deal.

I think British police should take a more Spanish approach because no-one messes with the Spaniards.

Where I live soooo many people have concealed weapon permits. Many of my aunts and uncles have one. My dad loves guns, but he's into muzzle-loaders and casting his own bullets, and he doesn't hunt with guns (or murder people), he does target shooting competitions at the local shooting range. When he hunts deer he uses a bow. I hate guns, personally. My dad bought me a rifle when I was about 10 years old, and for some reason I wasn't scared of shooting back then, but now I'm deathly afraid of shooting. I hate guns now. When I was in high school is was not uncommon during hunting season for kids to have rifles in the back seat of their pickup trucks in the school parking lot. Surely there was a rule against that, but I don't remember anyone getting busted for it (and no one ever shot anyone...so that's something). Although yanks here do seem to love their guns, I don't think I've ever seen anyone open-carry in a public place like a supermarket, or a bus, or whatever. The only time I see guns is when my dad has them out of the safe he locks them in when he's cleaning them. There is a lot of gun violence though. There was a murder-suicide shoot-out right across the street from me a while back. And my boss just sat on a jury for a murder trial where a lady shot her husband point-blank in the throat and blew his brains out. Yay America....

Guns don't piss me off though. They're stupid, and I hate them, and they're scary, but they don't particularly piss me off.

Did I read correctly that someone thought a burrito is a donkey? A small donkey is a 'burro' is that what you were thinking of?...do you lot not have burritos in the UK?....and other Mexican foods for that matter.

And also, I have no problem adopting your words for things (in a lot of cases your terms make more sense, but ours are not all nonsense. Some of them make a sort of sense, or sometimes more sense! Why can't a duvet be a 'comforter'...it's comfortable/comforting, is it not? I hear a lot of fuss about the words we use in the states sometimes. I know some of them don't make a lot of sense, but to be fair, lots of your phrases just as little sense, or are at the very least as arbitrary as ours. Like you call what I'd normally call a 'hobo' a 'tramp', and what I'd call a 'tramp' you'd call a 'slag'. If you called someone 'fit' as in good looking, I'd call them 'hot' and when I think of a person being 'fit' I think of them being 'buff' or 'ripped' (as in muscular, or physically in pique condition) and for you 'buff' is nude, right? would 'ripped' be like 'hench'? I've not heard 'hench but that seems to be what google is telling me you'd call someone who's ripped (muscular). I like your words for things, and I do have a general loathing for my country and deep shame about being American. But we semi-technically share a common language. How did I get on this tangent. Oh, the burrito bafflement. Moving on...

Here's a thing that pisses me off: When my boss discriminates against bullies, or judges defenseless residents at the elder care facility I work at for having mental health issues or dementia, or even physical problems, like partial paralysis, or poor hearing, or macular degeneration. I'm pretty sure it's in her job description (and mine) to accommodate any disabilities, emotional or behavioral issues they have, and definitely NOT to gossip and trash talk them to other staff members and other residents or bully or exclude them. I do everything I can to advocate for and protect these people who are under my care, and my efforts are so often either ignored, undermined, or I am actively discouraged from doing things like speaking loudly so that hearing-impaired individuals can participate in activities, and am told to kick residents out of activities if they have dementia to the point of repeating themselves, or have trouble following instructions. I've worked with people with dementia and physical and mental disabilities for years, and have a lot of strategies for meeting them at their level (while also not being a condescending prick) while not lowering the level of care I provide to other residents who might not have as many limitations. She's kind of a horrible human being, my boss, and should probably be sacked for abuse, neglect, breach of our health privacy laws, and for just not doing her job. She fills me with rage. I'm thinking about applying to a better paying position at a new facility that just opened, but I would feel so bad jumping ship and leaving my residents to drown in her utter bullshit and negligence. I love the residents, and love my job. But management makes it sheer hell half the time. I can take abuse from the residents. They can call me fat, or say I'm ugly, or tell me I have four nipples or whatever. I get a kick out of that. But my boss makes me want to jab her in the ear with an extremely sharp pencil (not that I would, there'd be no point, there's no brain-matter rattling around in that thick skull of hers anyway). Grumble grumble.

6 people have quit in the past 2 weeks, including my coworker who was the head of memory care activities. I assumed I would be stepping into her role, as I have 10 years of job experience in the field, have two college degrees, one a graduate degree in gerontology, and I've been doing the actual work of the head of memory care for the past 5 months unofficially (so, I'm making 10 cents above minimum wage for a job my coworker was making 3$ more than me an hour for). My boss seems to want to put off hiring a new activities staff member until August...which is when I'm going to Edinburgh whether she likes it or not. (I requested the time off, have my plane tickets, and will flat out quit if she tells me I can't go.) So she wants to not have to pay anyone to do the work I'm already doing, so that she doesn't have to fill the position, which also means I will not have weekends anymore. We don't have enough staff for me to have weekends (she's on an unscheduled unapproved 4 day weekend right now incidentally). It's lovely. Just lovely.

On a more pleasant note, who's going to the Fringe this year? Can I start a fringe thread? Is there a fringe thread. I'm going to shut up now.

Quote: Davida Grimes @ 27th May 2017, 3:11 AM

On a more pleasant note, who's going to the Fringe this year? Can I start a fringe thread? Is there a fringe thread. I'm going to shut up now.

I'll say this for you Davida,, you certainly give value for money word-wise.

Yes, there is a Fringe thread - ever so popular................................

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/2723/

Many words of little value? Yeah...

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 26th May 2017, 11:49 PM

I'll give the new Lidl a try this weekend because I do like to see what they have on offer. They can be great for Christmas presents and are always air conditioned.

I try to avoid shops with air conditioning. On a warm summer's day, dressed accordingly, you could end up with pneumonia by the time you've finished your shopping.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 27th May 2017, 7:18 AM

I'll say this for you Davida,, you certainly give value for money word-wise.

Yes, there is a Fringe thread - ever so popular................................

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/2723/

Since that thread has been dead for the past decade would it not be appropriate to start a shiny fresh new thread for the 2017 Fringe?

Your 'letters from America' are appreciated Davida.

Yep! Start a new thread I say. Treat yourself. ;)

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 27th May 2017, 8:32 AM

Your 'letters from America' are appreciated Davida.

Aww shucks. Thank you, goid sir!:$

Posts with more than 50 characters. Maybe I should leave here and..........

Isn't starting new threads Herc's official job??

Quote: Shandonbelle @ 27th May 2017, 3:08 PM

Isn't starting new threads Herc's official job??

No Herc is just in charge of whinging when there are too few or too many new threads, which is most of the time :P

Quote: Chappers @ 27th May 2017, 2:35 PM

Posts with more than 50 characters. Maybe I should leave here and..........

Twitter away birdie. Should I put [[[[massive-text-block]]] warnings like spoiler warnings at the beginnings of my ramble-posts?

Quote: Davida Grimes @ 27th May 2017, 4:23 PM

No Herc is just in charge of whinging when there are too few or too many new threads, which is most of the time :P

Moi ? :O

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 28th May 2017, 1:02 AM

Moi ? :O

Oui, vous Whistling nnocentlyAngelic

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