British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,710

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 11th April 2017, 12:55 PM

I could go on..............ok I will

'

I'm glad I don't live near you.

To tell the truth, there are many dogs I'd happily strangle. We live next to a park and it's great to see it being used a lot. However, millions of dog-walkers roll up. There's the problem that they park within an inch of our gate which is difficult when the man across the road parks his large car right opposite. What drives me nuts are the 2 dog vans which arrive twice a day. The women open the doors and out roll the pack of dogs and bark like hell for what seems like 10 hours. There are times when I want to kill every one of them. On a more serious note I think it's time these people were properly licensed - they allow the dogs to roam in packs - no leads. All it'll take is for one child to get frightened and make a fuss and disaster could ensue.

With the rise in trophy dogs and the flippant attitude towards pet ownership that the Brish are notorious for, dog ownership and dog breeding should be far more tightly controlled. I think there should also be laws to restrict the number of animals a person can be in charge of in public and more severe penalties for ignoring mandatory safety equipment like muzzles and leads. Not sure if choke chains are still used but I had them with my rotties many moons ago and I would never pull on it hard but it was a useful way of keeping a large dog under some control.

I don't think there is an age restriction for walking large breeds of dogs which could easily lead to someone being overpowerd with or without a lead so that definitely needs to be looked at. It seems like dog attacks are on the increase so something has to be done.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 11th April 2017, 12:55 PM

Phew it was finally off - the crowd dispersed and I sat down to recover.

Enter- the wife. Frowns at the new keypad just hanging on wires in the hall.
'I don't like that, always the same with you - half a job'

And you call yourself an electrician !? Angelic

Ignore the service call I put into you for a new 5 amp plug fuse - I'll get the old lady next door to come round and fit one for me.

Why do pretty girls go to such extremes to make themselves into circus freaks?

Body dysmorphia has always been around, as has girls wanting to look like Barbie dolls since they were invented . . . but any surgeon actually taking money from people who have severe issues in this respect is criminal.

So I was shocked to see Martina who also needs to be mahogany brown via illegal injections. She should not be making money from public appearances unless she is funding therapy.

Everyone remembers Lolo Ferrari in the nineties who died tragically from a suspected overdose before her 'assets' could . . . so is upsetting to see someone in the news who is being paraded around because she thinks she's a hot property, but in fact she needs help . . .

. . . and that pisses me off that she has slipped through the net and isn't getting it, given other people's greed.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/glamour-model-biggest-boobs-europe-10217073

:(

Solution: Don't read The Mirror or any other trash.

Yes - that'll stop the butchers.

. . . and it's called surfing . . . I read broadsheets, but have probably visited every publication there is at some point by clicking on links.

How do you feel about Bruce Jenner having his nuts cut off and his cock spliced and inverted? Where do we draw the line between butchers taking advantage of dingbats and self-mutilation in the name of sexual freedom?

Some people certainly need a personality transplant.

Could be a that a change in diet is all that's required: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/28/magazine/can-the-bacteria-in-your-gut-explain-your-mood.html

Uh-oh . . . spam.

I don't think it's spam because of the official statement:

-WE DO OFFER A LEGITIMATE SERVICE:-

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 15th April 2017, 12:04 AM

I don't think it's spam because of the official statement:

-WE DO OFFER A LEGITIMATE SERVICE:-

Gosh, I am silly . . . I didn't notice its even spelled correctly.

:P

Is a bit like saying "We're really honest and that's not even lying - my best friend's Mum says we're doing so well I think we might even be getting ice-cream after tea tonight".

Cool

Grandparents who call themselves 'nana' and 'papa'. What's wrong with granny and grandpa? Nana is a f**king dog for heaven's sake. And surely 'papa' is another word for father. I know somebody who has a friend who's known by the name of ' Nana' so why the hell does this friend have her grandchildren call her 'nana'?Irritating.

Quote: keewik @ 15th April 2017, 8:40 PM

Grandparents who call themselves 'nana' and 'papa'. What's wrong with granny and grandpa? Nana is a f**king dog for heaven's sake. And surely 'papa' is another word for father. I know somebody who has a friend who's known by the name of ' Nana' so why the hell does this friend have her grandchildren call her 'nana'?Irritating.

With you there . . . I swear I thought my best mate at primary school was referring to her nanny whenever she referred to her 'nan'.

"Nana" and "Papa" should only be excused when it's from the mouths of babies and toddlers who haven't learned to talk properly yet, as one ought to respect one's grandparents enough to afford them a few more letters.

:O

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