British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,907

Quote: DaButt @ 14th April 2017, 1:58 PM

Poking a hornet's nest is the best way to kill hornets. Other than spraying them with chemicals that is, but given recent events in Syria that would be a bit hypocritical.

The ISIS = hornets analogy falls down because of Francesco Redi's Theory of Malicious Natural Disposition in Insects being disproved by Lamarckian Evolution, which itself was disproved by Charles Darwin, only for Mitochondrial Wahhabism to have been proven as a bipolarity beyond question. You can, of course, at least reason with a hornet.

I always found smoke and diesel to be good killers of such insects. Although Australia doesn't have true hornets. We only have:
Local wasps, which are small and potentially aggressive;
Much larger, orange "hornets" (actually mud-nest wasps), which are very passive and I've never known them to sting; and
European wasps, the yellow-jacket-like bastards (which are a menace, mainly because they kill native bees).

To pacify a wasp nest and its inhabitants, I always used a rolled up newspaper, alight and smoking at the top. They didn't like the smoke and it was much swifter than a stinky insecticide. This was only for those that nested neath the eaves of a house or shed.

"Hornets" (mud-nest wasps), never needed pacifying.

European wasps could be trapped and drowned in hanging bottles of sugar water, but the trick was to find their subterranean nest, pour in some diesel, make a diesel (or petrol) trail and light it.

As for Islamic fundamentalists, just a few simple home truths are all that's required. Just gently explain that all religion is a pile of invented shit. Then they can return to tribal feuding, which needs no religion. Whereas a wasp will only kill its own kind when a queen's dynasty has worn out its welcome and requires regime change for the good of the hive.

Here we can see an innocent nashi pear (pyrus pyrifolia) under attack by a group of terrorist European wasps.

Image
Spraying them won't stop such attacks. More will keep coming. You have to observe them, find the nest/hive and obliterate it.

Quote: DaButt @ 14th April 2017, 1:58 PM

Poking a hornet's nest is the best way to kill hornets. Other than spraying them with chemicals that is, but given recent events in Syria that would be a bit hypocritical.

In case you've missed it, the men, women & children of ISIS don't really need much of a reason to lop of heads, blow up schools, run over pedestrians, etc. -- just being an infidel is enough for their purposes.

I meant against citizens of the country that whacked them with the bomb in retaliation. A great deal of consideration needs to be given to the potential consequences of any such actions regarding the risk for own people, so even if the travel ban had been implemented, the next act could be prompted by an existing cell on mainland as direct result of this just to show defiance. That's why any president who doesn't give this due care and attention is so dangerous to the people he's supposed to be protecting.

Quote: Kenneth @ 14th April 2017, 4:17 PM

Spraying them won't stop such attacks. More will keep coming. You have to observe them, find the nest/hive and obliterate it.

Quite. The ongoing problem is there is more than just one hive.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ 14th April 2017, 5:22 PM

Quite. The ongoing problem is there is more than just one hive.

Another problem is that "solutions" for the control of invasive species can lead to even bigger problems. Such as cane toads having been introduced to Australia to control a native beetle. And rabbits being introduced as an antidote to Australian fauna.

What next Kenneth, we can't help the way we aussies are - being descendants of British criminals. :)

"Annihilated altogether" is term I used, but this is not an option, unfortunately. Taking out the 'fat controller' of any such group not really an option either given the extremist mindset of all these monsters.

But having a plan is a start. They don't always work of course but at least there's a strategy behind them whereas at the moment it just seems to be random acts of lashing out like its some sort of game of one-upmanship.

Fop, you'll never make an impression on the Trump Worshippers. I swear he must have had hypnotists at his rallies who convinced people he's a god. How else can you explain otherwise intelligent people condoning the arsehole that he is?

Quote: keewik @ 14th April 2017, 8:58 PM

Fop, you'll never make an impression on the Trump Worshippers. I swear he must have had hypnotists at his rallies who convinced people he's a god. How else can you explain otherwise intelligent people condoning the arsehole that he is?

I know . . . but it just breaks my heart that the brainwashed who voted him in will be ultimately responsible for the fate of those who didn't. It's like one of these freaky cults - possibly similar technique used by cultivating mass hysteria which is a form of grooming I suppose, and once they've been recruited, that's it . . . they're gone.

I'd love to look into the eyes of one of these people - I bet there isn't much going on in there.

But on top of all that, I think age is a huge issue and should be a consideration for any elected leader.

Mental agility aside, Trump might have another 10-15 years left on the clock so he wouldn't care about the fate of the world as much as someone 20 years younger, and he may love his trophy wife and kids in his own way, but nothing like as much as he loves himself and how much of a bang he imagines departing this world with.

So it's possible his mindset doesn't involve much caution at all while he focuses mainly on which ultimate act of power he can inflict on the world next, regardless of consequences.

And on a lighter note: I only noticed today, in the news, that Doctor Who series 10 starts today Sat 15 Apr 2017,, BBC 1, 7:20 pm.

Quote: billwill @ 15th April 2017, 12:35 AM

And on a lighter note: I only noticed today, in the news, that Doctor Who series 10 starts today Sat 15 Apr 2017,, BBC 1, 7:20 pm.

Only trouble there is, it's complete shit. Even die-hard fans think it's rubbish.

What we need right now is rainbows, laughter and a magician who can make people literally disappear rather than a tired old format and concept about 'danger' that should have been binned at least 20 years ago.

It's almost poking fun at us too because we wish time travel was possible more than ever given the massive hole we're in, but it only exists in nonsensical fiction piped into our homes.

And the threat from North Korea is very real which has only happened because of Trump's actions.

It has become abundantly clear what sort of leader Assad is, but you don't get out the big guns because he's made your daughter cry while you've been watching some television, then do it again elsewhere on a whim.

It's playground stuff - someone's hurt your best mate so you whack them in the nards . . . then he threatens to 'get you' after school to get even so you gather all your mates together and whack him and his mates first.

You can't 'slap the wrist' of a tyrant as a warning and expect it to have any effect other than total retaliation, but if the ego is larger than the intellect, then you have a molotov cocktail of a brain that has no business being in any position of power because it's far too dangerous.

What a pity they caught that Jakubowski bloke . . . he could have brought about some serious damage limitation.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 14th April 2017, 7:29 PM

What next Kenneth, we can't help the way we aussies are - being descendants of British criminals. :)

You're a skip?

Incidentally, the old chestnut of "most Australians are descended from convicts" doesn't bear much scrutiny. From 1788 to 1868, about 164,000 British convicts were transported to the Australian colonies. During the gold rushes from 1851 to 1871, about 700,000 Brits migrated to Australia in search of fortune. The Irish potato famine also caused a surge in settlers. After World War 2, Australia had an influx of about 6.5 million Europeans (mostly Brits) as it sought to build its population.

According to data-crunching by genealogists, about 20% of present Aussies have a convict ancestor. More will have a gold-miner or farmer/settler ancestor.

For the record, my great-great-grandfather's uncle was transported to Australia for eating a handkerchief.

Quote: fopdoodle @ 15th April 2017, 6:54 AM

What we need right now is rainbows, laughter and a magician who can make people literally disappear

No worries. Here you are: http://www.rainbow-the-clown.com/

Now, take the weight of the world off your shoulders.

Documentary I watched about a year ago filmed in Australia showed that descendants of prisoner deportees were proud of this fact and held conventions to celebrate how successful their ancestors became.

Quote: fopdoodle @ 14th April 2017, 9:50 PM

But on top of all that, I think age is a huge issue and should be a consideration for any elected leader.

Totally. What were you Brits thinking of, electing Winston Churchill in 1940 when he was on the wrong side of 60? And then re-electing him in 1951 when he was 77? Bloody fools. You should've taken him out and shot him, and found a young pro-active dynamic leader (like that nice Mr Blair), because "old" people are going to die soon and therefore are selfish, stupid idiots.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 15th April 2017, 7:21 AM

how successful their ancestors became.

If you didn't work hard and suffer discomfort, you wouldn't last long in the Australian colonies back then, so Australians developed a decent work ethic. A few generations of "dole bludgers" with a hand-out mentality has somewhat eroded this. It has even attracted a new class of British migrants: professional bludgers. They come over, get citizenship, claim a workplace injury and get set up on welfare for life.

Quote: Kenneth @ 15th April 2017, 7:17 AM

No worries. Here you are: http://www.rainbow-the-clown.com/

Now, take the weight of the world off your shoulders.

Not even remotely resembling a rainbow or a magician and terrifies people rather than makes them laugh . . . and that 'fun fun funner' rainbow clown doesn't convince me either.
:P

Quote: Kenneth @ 15th April 2017, 7:30 AM

Totally. What were you Brits thinking of, electing Winston Churchill in 1940 when he was on the wrong side of 60? And then re-electing him in 1951 when he was 77? Bloody fools. You should've taken him out and shot him, and found a young pro-active dynamic leader (like that nice Mr Blair), because "old" people are going to die soon and therefore are selfish, stupid idiots.

No. I MEANT if you have a character like Donald Trump. If you are also an unstable maniac without integrity or intellect, it should be a consideration.

My Father was 86 when I lost him recently, and he had more mental stability, integrity and intellect than many half his age.

Quote: Kenneth @ 15th April 2017, 7:30 AM

If you didn't work hard and suffer discomfort, you wouldn't last long in the Australian colonies back then, so Australians developed a decent work ethic. A few generations of "dole bludgers" with a hand-out mentality has somewhat eroded this. It has even attracted a new class of British migrants: professional bludgers. They come over, get citizenship, claim a workplace injury and get set up on welfare for life.

I thought Australia was much harder to get into these days to stop that sort of thing.

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