Things they never told me about getting old

I don't mean the expected changes that come with age - such as poor eyesight, hair loss, failing short term memory or poor eyesight.
I mean the odd things that no one told me about, like the inability to put my underpants on without falling over. All my life I have had no difficulty in lifting one leg at a time to slip my pants on in a fully controlled manner. Now for some reason (no matter how hard I concentrate) as soon as I lift one leg up I start to tip over. I have now taken to slumping against a wall just to get my pants on.

When I mentioned this to a couple of friends of similar age to me (I am 58) they said they had exactly the same problem.

Any more examples?

People humouring you in a way as if they think your IQ has plummeted to 25 because you've a few(!) grey hairs. However I'm now starting to use this to my advantage by using them to help with things I can do perfectly well. It's a true saying 'Act daft and you'll get a hurl for nothing'.

Here's an easier solution to your problem. Stand by the bedside, lean your left hand on the bed, lift your right leg (I'm trying not to let this sound like the hokey cokey). Then put the right foot through the pant right leg. Reverse the process to get the other foot through the remaining pant leg. Try to avoid getting both feet through the same pant leg.

Always wear a flat cap - this will enable you to claim any discount for OAPs with no questions asked. Especially useful if you are still a couple of years short of the qualifying age.

It might also get you a seat on a crowded tube train.

Playful if Superman mucks up getting his pant on then why not you ?

When I was young, an apple a day kept the Doctor away, now we're up to 10 apples. And the choice in the supermarkets. Pak Choi, Kumquats, I struggle to pronounce them let alone cook them. When we were young you just boiled the buggery out of something green. Nice and simple. Ironically now I'm older, I need to boil the buggery our of everything, because of all those apples rotting my teeth.

Hangovers get worse and worse, for less and less.
And, yes, the pants thing is a nightmare.

One of the advantages of growing old is that nobody wants in your pants any more so you can just leave them on.

I'm more awake in the middle of the night than I am during the day.(Perhaps it's just me)
But to quote M Chavalier : "Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."

Quote: fopdoodle @ 24th March 2017, 8:03 PM

One of the advantages of growing old is that nobody wants in your pants any more so you can just leave them on.

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Quote: wigwam willy @ 24th March 2017, 8:21 PM

I'm more awake in the middle of the night than I am during the day.(Perhaps it's just me)
But to quote M Chavalier : "Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."

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So true.

Quote: fopdoodle @ 24th March 2017, 8:03 PM

One of the advantages of growing old is that nobody wants in your pants any more so you can just leave them on.

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Not talking about myself of course . . . I wear all-in-ones.

Random single hairs growing on my earlobes and inside the top of my ears.

Needing a strimmer to cut my toenails because they are getting thicker.

How the hell can you see your ears?

But I will be serious for a minute . . .

You can save a lot on soap when your sense of smell goes by stocking up on hobnobs then not going out for days, and then you've got more money for more hobnobs.

In summer, instead of rushing to the loo after drinking gallons of tea worrying you might not make it, you can just piss yourself as your hand washing drip-dries faster than in winter.

You can save LOADS on heating bills by buying a massive thick faux fur throw for snuggling under on your sofa (that one's true . . . and I live in SCOTLAND!)

I employ someone to put me into my underpants.

I do enjoy the gravitas of becoming older - the way that groups of young people on street corners will doff their caps as I walk past and bid me good morrow, for example.

Quote: beaky @ 24th March 2017, 9:10 PM

I employ someone to put me into my underpants.

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Bloody Tory!