British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,888

I reckon his arm 'jerks' are caused by muscle spasms via electric shocks.

He doesn't know it but he's wired up remotely so he can be controlled to a degree by staff which is why he also finds it hard to let go . . . and this is probably why he doesn't like doing it.

That's one way of justifying working for him . . . I don't think I'd even want paying if I had control of the handset.

Cool

I am utterly bored with all these posts on the American president so to liven up this thread have managed to find the hilarious NTNOCN presidential speech. OK, Regan was president then but the whole shebang is encapsulated here;-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2n87YKSjrA

Laughing out loudLaughing out loudLaughing out loudLaughing out loud

NTNOCN was undoubtedly one of the funniest shows starring some of our best . . . but topical comedy has it right now, and let's face it, there's a limited shelf life Alec Baldwin has on SNL as this farce has to end soon . . . so in the meantime, Trump is contributing more to comedy than he could ever, ever contribute to his country.

Quote: zooo @ 11th February 2017, 11:11 AM

It's merely a coincidence that the Muslim countries not on the ban list are the only ones Trump has business with.
Also this...

Image

(Surely everyone's already seen this? People on Twitter have probably seen all this stuff a hundred times, but maybe non Twitterers haven't, who knows.)

Not actually FAKE news, just distorted as usual.

After much effort, I think I have tracked down the origins of this diagram as: https://www.cato.org/blog/guide-trumps-executive-order-limit-migration-national-security-reasons

It first appeared on the 28th Jan 2017.
If you read the original paper you will see that whoever made this diagram 'conveniently' left out the column showing the number of terrorists foiled in their attempts and consequently noone killed. The 7 countries on the ban list make up 11% of foreign-born folks convicted of carrying out or attempting to carry out a terrorist attack on U.S. soil.

Quote: billwill @ 12th February 2017, 1:04 PM

If you read the original paper you will see that whoever made this diagram 'conveniently' left out the column showing the number of terrorists foiled in their attempts and consequently noone killed.

I've seen several graphics and articles which attempt to minimize the impact of Islamist-related terrorism by citing the low body count over the last 15 years. Hmm, I wonder what happened 16 years ago that they'd want to avoid mentioning?

91.3% of British and US citizens had never spoken the word "Muslim" until 2001. The percentage is higher for the word "Islam". Muslim weather forecasts were first introduced by the BBC in its programme "Look North" in June 2005. The red and turquoise Mohammed Rose was introduced by Prince Charles on 15 November 2007, just a day before a star in The Great Bear was named Koran Fries-To-Go Centuri by the EU Sub-Committee on Turkmenistan, Java, Peacehaven and Les Autres Setzen de Geschwindigkeitsbeschränkungen dans l'Universe. The internet has been owned by the late Nelson Mandela and an Iraqi tax haven since April 2014. The consortium funds Eurovision, the Surrey Wildlife Trust and no less than three characters in East Enders .

Send this in a letter to ten people with a photograph of a round robin on a chain and you will become a millionaire.

That is what happened to me and I used to be a five stone weakling who had sand kicked in my face. Not always but when I was called Tracy and went begging for money in Blackpool on a camel.

Don't forget they're all lizards!

Quote: billwill @ 12th February 2017, 1:04 PM

Not actually FAKE news, just distorted as usual.

After much effort, I think I have tracked down the origins of this diagram as: https://www.cato.org/blog/guide-trumps-executive-order-limit-migration-national-security-reasons

It first appeared on the 28th Jan 2017.
If you read the original paper you will see that whoever made this diagram 'conveniently' left out the column showing the number of terrorists foiled in their attempts and consequently noone killed. The 7 countries on the ban list make up 11% of foreign-born folks convicted of carrying out or attempting to carry out a terrorist attack on U.S. soil.

Thanks for tracking that down, Bill. I was wondering what the story was.

In fact of course, statistics relating merely to immigrants/refugees to the USA are irrelevant. The infiltration of European countries by terrorists has to also be taken into account, and IS have actually announced several times that they have used refugee movements to get their terrorists into other countries.

Quote: billwill @ 12th February 2017, 2:11 PM

In fact of course, statistics relating merely to immigrants/refugees to the USA are irrelevant. The infiltration of European countries by terrorists has to also be taken into account, and IS have actually announced several times that they have used refugee movements to get their terrorists into other countries.

Quite right.

These people get too much publicity.

All news outlets should pronounce the word tewworwism to remove its dominant clout.

It was easy for Donald to compile his shit list.They are Muslim countries that don't have a Trump golf course.

It is not easy to identify terrorists because they look like you and me.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ 13th February 2017, 2:46 PM

It is not easy to identify terrorists because they look like you and me.

And a teasy weasy try of your handy-wrists doesn't justify wanking you see.

Great musical.

Was it Cole Porter or Jerome Kern?

Quote: wigwam willy @ 12th February 2017, 10:11 PM

It was easy for Donald to compile his shit list.They are Muslim countries that don't have a Trump golf course.

With the exception of Iran (the world's largest sponsor of terrorism) and possibly Iraq, they're all failed states. Failed states and and other "Death to America" nations don't tend to build fancy western golf courses.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 13th February 2017, 3:04 PM

And a teasy weasy try of your handy-wrists doesn't justify wanking you see.

Great musical.

Was it Cole Porter or Jerome Kern?

I thought Ivor Biggun did the best version of that, but you digress.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ 13th February 2017, 3:10 PM

I thought Ivor Biggun did the best version of that, but you digress.

Reggae artist Judge Dread.

Un and Il went up the hill
In what one senses was a lather
With a nuke nuke here and a nuke nuke there
Give the dog a bone and rub in ambre solaire
Chim chim charoo......how's your father?

Share this page