At this time of year, I spare a thought for those with just a crust of bread and a glass of water... And think, F**k 'em. No one forces them to be supermodels.
Tell us a joke Page 188
Quote: Frankie Rage @ 23rd December 2016, 12:24 PMHeard the one about the animal abuser who gave the turkey a good stuffing.
My favourite bitter at the moment!
I had to stop quoting disco music. At first I was afraid.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 27th December 2016, 5:17 PMI had to stop quoting disco music. At first I was afraid.
You're not afraid of quoting yourself, though 
In the words of Oscar Wilde, f**k me. Must be a Christmas repeat.
I'm in favour of celebrities supporting charity, but is Victoria Beckham a good model for African children? They'd give her food.
Hermaphrodites can go f**k themselves.
My choice of aftershave reflects my masturbatory habits. Old Spice.
Our local ho is quite a comedian. Every time she bends over she makes a lovely crack.
What did the drug addicted comedian do ?
Crack jokes
What did Debbie Reynolds ask for at her funeral
Good mourning Good mourning
Why are boxers counted out but never counted in?
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 29th December 2016, 9:14 PMWhat did Debbie Reynolds ask for at her funeral
Good mourning Good mourning
Well it is a double funeral with Carrie.
I've been selected for the 2017 World Wanking Championships!
It'll be long and hard as I'm drawn against a couple of former Champs, but I think I can pull it off..
Quote: Frankie Rage @ 4th January 2017, 5:36 PMI've been selected for the 2017 World Wanking Championships!
You might have to beat off some stiff competition to come first and then you can wipe the floor.
They are saying I am a bit of a Johnny Come Lately..
I calculate the fastest song ever is 'Say You Will Be There' by the Spice Girls. I give it 436875 beats per minute.
My mother had to stop fellating every overweight man she met. She bit off more than she could chew.