Tell us a joke Page 184

My wife keeps complaining about the spread I used on her sandwich.

'Butter?'

No, but if she doesn't stop she'll get her arse slapped

My mother got arrested on the station. They saw a suspicious-looking old bag full of weapons about to shoot off.

I am surprised that women are so anti-Trump. Whatever problems they have Trump will get on top of them..

I've entered a poker tournament in the south of France.

Toulouse?

I hope not.

Those rugby refs are useless, never seem to spot even the most obvious handball..

There have been several reports of persons unknown breaking into locked toilets. Whilst their motive is also unknown it is thought that they may be taking the piss.

Some girl's gonna be lucky tonight. And stay at home.

Quote: SSTT @ 13th November 2016, 2:50 PM

I've entered a poker tournament in the south of France.

Toulouse?

I hope not.

View original

Lautrec should do his shoelaces up. You're too loose, Lautrec.

When he was a child, Sherpa Tenzing's mother was very worried about his development and felt that in later life he would have a mountain to climb.

Btw do Everest double glazing know that the Nepalese have nicked their name for a mountain?

I had a mate we called Everest, never had a job.

Like many before him ..er, after him God found parenting frustrating. He was desperate to turn the other cheek but Jesus was never naughty.

Message from the Payroll Dept. at Christmas: anyone with a pay query, be mindful that it is better to give than receive.

What happened when Mary and Joseph dropped a plate? Jesus swept.

For the disciples, the great thing about Christmas dinner with Jesus was that no matter how many were seated, if Jesus carved, they all got a leg.

When the lepers invited Jesus to Christmas Dinner he was mindful not to ask for a leg..

addendum: I've had a few complaints via PM that this one is in bad taste..

Quote: Frankie Rage @ 24th November 2016, 6:53 PM

When the lepers invited Jesus to Christmas Dinner he was mindful not to ask for a leg..

addendum: I've had a few complaints via PM that this one is in bad taste..

View original

Just this one?