I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,846

Quote: Muddlecombe @ 17th September 2016, 7:08 PM

How very dare you, the state of my ablutions is my business, I have had many sinkers and deny categorically that i was caught standing over the toilet with a plunger fighting a rogue floater. Although there is a rumour that it was this incident that was immortalised in that popular hit of yesteryear float on by the floaters

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The Ablutions would have been a great name for a band in the 1960s.

And the 1990s music scene was crying out for Domestos.

Quote: Chappers @ 17th September 2016, 7:23 PM

Only because you weren't born there.

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I don't know.

Obviously I wouldn't recall it and my parents are so old they can't remember.

Has anyone got an actual news story from today?

I'm not sure I have.

Here is the news, in the US Donald Trump asks security to be taken away from Hilary Clinton so she can be shot. People who text whilst driving to be fined for spelling mistakes. Russia is very naughty. Jeremy Corbyn is an insane commie who is destroying the Labour Party whilst wearing sandals, being nice and riding a bicycle. Nobody has held any kind of demonstration against anything because people are terribly happy with everything. Immigrants are digging their own tunnel from Calais using spoons gifted to them by French collaborators. We are leaving Europe honestly. Finally a sad but uplifting story about a man who sings in cars to help you forget we have actually told you nothing that is important or investigative. Now the weather, its shit, meanwhile in some European countries it is sunny, there is a strong suspicion they are stealing our sunshine

Quote: Muddlecombe @ 17th September 2016, 8:20 PM

Here is the news, in the US Donald Trump asks security to be taken away from Hilary Clinton so she can be shot. People who text whilst driving to be fined for spelling mistakes. Russia is very naughty. Jeremy Corbyn is an insane commie who is destroying the Labour Party whilst wearing sandals, being nice and riding a bicycle. Nobody has held any kind of demonstration against anything because people are terribly happy with everything. Immigrants are digging their own tunnel from Calais using spoons gifted to them by French collaborators. We are leaving Europe honestly. Finally a sad but uplifting story about a man who sings in cars to help you forget we have actually told you nothing that is important or investigative. Now the weather, its shit, meanwhile in some European countries it is sunny, there is a strong suspicion they are stealing our sunshine

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Thank you - and you managed not to mention terrorists and every illness known to man (and woman). I'm mainly avoiding the news but it is hard to cut it all out as that requires sitting in silence or being permanently tuned to Radio 4 Extra. Consequently I did hear someone saying today that the phrase Brexit means Brexit is the equivalent to the phrase cake means cake. This indicated to me that I am missing very little of any significance.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 17th September 2016, 8:29 PM

Thank you - and you managed not to mention terrorists and every illness known to man (and woman). I'm mainly avoiding the news but it is hard to cut it all out as that requires sitting in silence or being permanently tuned to Radio 4 Extra. Consequently I did hear someone saying today that the phrase Brexit means Brexit is the equivalent to the phrase cake means cake. This indicated to me that I am missing very little of any significance.

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No mention of terrorism today as Russia seems to be the elected baddy this weekend. Just inject a bit of scaremongering and a few general atrocities into the forecast and you should be good for the next year at least . I still miss Reggie Bosanquete

Just seen BBC World News...Angelina is going to divorce Brad.

Seriously BBC...how on earth is this relevant news.

Shouldn't that be one of the other friends looking suitably smug, em, I mean shocked....

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 20th September 2016, 8:22 PM

Just seen BBC World News...Angelina is going to divorce Brad.

Seriously BBC...how on earth is this relevant news.

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Who??????????

Brad and Angelina how sad never mind move on

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/monty-python-member-terry-jones-diagnosed-with-dementia-w441736

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 23rd September 2016, 5:53 PM

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/monty-python-member-terry-jones-diagnosed-with-dementia-w441736

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Sad news.

Just seen this on FB:

Question for Da Butt. I've tried really hard not to get involved in this, but ...
I understand the loathing for Hilary Clinton, but are you still going to vote for the brainless, shit-stirring, Putin-loving arsehole that is Trump? Make America great? No, he'll make it the laughing stock of the rest of the world, except we'll be too busy worrying about his finger on the button. For god's sake don't vote for this self-obsessed clown.

Quote: keewik @ 12th October 2016, 8:20 PM

Question for Da Butt. I've tried really hard not to get involved in this, but ...
I understand the loathing for Hilary Clinton, but are you still going to vote for the brainless, shit-stirring, Putin-loving arsehole that is Trump? Make America great? No, he'll make it the laughing stock of the rest of the world, except we'll be too busy worrying about his finger on the button. For god's sake don't vote for this self-obsessed clown.

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Although I would have preferred nearly any other Republican candidate, yes, I will vote for Trump next month.

I don't care that he says politically incorrect things.

I don't care that he was recorded saying naughty things in private that every other man has said in private.

I don't care that self-important, overpaid Hollywood celebrities have promised to leave the country if he is elected.

I don't care that he followed our incomprehensible tax laws and was allowed to not pay income tax.

I don't care that he's as self-obsessed as every other politician.

I don't care if non-Americans don't want to see him elected.

...

I DO care that Hillary Clinton wants to gut the Second Amendment and infringe upon my right to bear arms.

I DO care that Hillary Clinton mishandled classified information and escaped disciplinary action.

I DO care that Hillary Clinton has made $150 million selling access to foreign governments and the big banks.

I DO care that Hillary Clinton's term as Secretary of State was an absolute disaster.

I DO care that Hillary Clinton's presidency would be a continuation of Obama's disastrous policies.

I DO care about political dynasties and the fact that Hillary's daughter is already being groomed for office.

I DO care that Hillary Clinton referred to people like me as deplorable racists, sexists, homophobes, xenophobes, and Islamophobes.

And you don't care that he's in the pocket of Putin?

Quote: keewik @ 12th October 2016, 10:57 PM

And you don't care that he's in the pocket of Putin?

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There's no proof that he is. But the American people won't stand for it if it proves to be true, so it won't last long.

I'm not all that worried about anything the press says we should be worried about, as it's clear that they're in the pocket of Hillary.