Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 28th July 2016, 9:31 AM BSTIrony, Bill........irony.
Fe+Y
Things that piss you off Page 1,683
Quote: wigwam willy @ 28th July 2016, 4:31 AM BSTwacuuming ....like Jonathan Woss.
So are you really vigvam villy? 
If you are Sam Weller 
Quote: Nogget @ 26th July 2016, 6:14 AM BSTYou should be thinking of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFRacpYt5F0
(slightly NSFW in places)
Woah, far out! Interesting style. It make me think of that scene in the Young Ones where Neil takes a big puff on a bong at the house party and ends up in orbit
Wtf is wrong with chocolate companies these days?
Time was you could buy a large bar of chocolate and when you opened it , it was nicely divided up in nice, straight, symmetrical squares
Easy
Not anymore, oh no
You open one now and it's like some mental f**king chocolate jigsaw
So you try to break off a small mouth sized chunk and the thing splinters into a gazillion bits
Cadburys, Nestles! What the big fat hairy chocolate BALLS is your God damned problem?
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 26th July 2016, 10:07 AM BSTAnimal fleas will only get on you when the animal is no longer there for them to feed on as they are adapted for life on and in animal fur, and so will infest carpets especially to wait for the next animal, and if that doesn't happen they will bite humans.
So flea sprays, plenty of hovering and I can also recommend the flea trap/killer £8 from Amazon which works very well:-
Just keep on top of it for now and providing you do not have any more animals the cycle of the flea will eventually die out.............with a bit of luck.
Looks like that is what happened and they were probably starving when I arrived and were thinking party time. They amaze me how tough they are because you can squeeze them between the fingers and the armour like plating they have protects them. That's why it's been useful having plates of sticky water on the floor because when I see one land on my white socks (to make them easier to see) I grab it and chuck in the water. I've been hoovering every day and keeping plates of water out and they are clearly on their way out. I'm not being bitten anymore or seeing any more adults and am going to spray each room. I read rave reviews for a spray called Indorex which is also recommended by vets so I bought a can from a pet shop today. It has a lot of plus points like killing all life cycles of the flea and keeping them at bay for up to 12 months but I paid £22 for a 500ml can so it's not blooming cheap. It's much cheaper online and there were so many Amazon reviews saying "IT WORKS" I couldn't resist but it's bad timing because my landlord came over tonight to say he has given the Polish girls two tins of flea spray that cost £24 each and they will give one to me and use one for their flat. He also said he is charging them for it so I'll look forward to that encounter 
"Here you go, this is for you and thanks for costing us £48 you think we are rich? Money to burn? Bastado".
"err, thanks for the spray. Nice to meet you and sorry abou....
*SLAM*
I didn't want to land anyone with a bill from the landlord but I've been here two weeks and all my stuff is still stacked up in a corner so I can hoover everywhere each day and that takes an hour after work so to call it an inconvenience is an understatement. I've deduced that what probably happenend is because the tenants were just moving down a floor and not leaving they probably made sure the flat was spotless and it looked clean to me when I moved in and the carpets, skirting boards and walls were dust free. They must have known about the flea problem but didn't tell the landlord and the landlord can only fix something when they know about it. Hence him deciding to charge them for the spray.
Quote: lofthouse @ 29th July 2016, 9:11 PM BSTWtf is wrong with chocolate companies these days?
Time was you could buy a large bar of chocolate and when you opened it , it was nicely divided up in nice, straight, symmetrical squares
Easy
Not anymore, oh no
You open one now and it's like some mental f**king chocolate jigsaw
So you try to break off a small mouth sized chunk and the thing splinters into a gazillion bits
Cadburys, Nestles! What the big fat hairy chocolate BALLS is your God damned problem?
Chocolate Balls are a great idea lol
I've noticed that and I remember when it was much easier to break chocolate. I think they make it easier for it to overlap and break up now so people end up eating or dropping more. It also depends on the chocolate because a flake is going to be a lot harder to manage than a Yorkie. I'm a sucker for Bournville but that is very easy to break in to pieces so I can eat it without going overboard.
I've become addicted to Aldi's marzipan Choceur- 5 smallish bars for £1.25. At 25p per bar, a bloody good deal. But the dentist bill won't be!
And you can easily break it into squares.
Aldi huh?
How the other half lives ...
These expert freelancers who say we should aim to get four or five clients at the same time, just in case we lose one.
Way to go Einstiens...
I found the product I want on your online store and I am ready to purchase it.
No I don't want to create an account.
What, I have to create a new account if I want to buy it.
Ok, go on then, just this once.
Now you need my full name, DOB and address.
But you will get my address when I pay by Paypal and what has my age to do with what I am buying?
You don't sell anything that is age restricted.
Oh, now you want my mobile number too and it has a red asterisk which means it's mandatory.
What is that is says under the phone number column, oh, so we can text you updates on your order.
That will be the reason, silly me. I wish I wasn't so suspicious.
Now you won't let me give you my money until you have the number
You won't let me help you keep your company alive by purchasing items from you because you absolutely positively have to have my phone number.
No deal, bye bye.
Too right.
I always want to put a fake number in. But then I get all paranoid about whether they'll text some stranger details about my order.
Argh.
Use a fake number that is reserved for use in drama scripts.
See:
http://stakeholders.ofcom.org.uk/telecoms/numbering/guidance-tele-no/numbers-for-drama
Telephone Number Type Telephone Number Range (1000 numbers in each range)
Mobile 07700 900000 to 900999
Freephone 08081 570000 to 570999
Premium Rate Services 0909 8790000 to 8790999
UK Wide 03069 990000 to 990999
AS you are probably aware, in the USA, phone numbers in drama usually have 555-xxxx in them.
Ooooh, thanks Bill!
I love the 555 numbers but I didn't think of there being a UK version.
I wonder if someone did it with 'webuyanycar (dot)com
I keep getting text messages about my Fiat Punto
I don't have a Fiat Punto
They have the reg number and model and offered me £500 for it
Texted me every day saying the quote was valid for 30 days, then 29 days etc
Finally the time ran out and they now text me asking if I have sold it yet, and if not, they will still buy it for £500
I have texted them back but no one must be getting them