British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,836

Quote: Lazzard @ 19th July 2016, 3:58 PM BST

And don't get me wrong - I believe all religion to be bunkum, man-made engines of power to control the masses. But no one is worse than another.

The penalty for apostasy in Islam is death (execution). The penalty for apostasy in Christianity is: eternal darkness, rather than heaven, after you snuff it.

Most so-called "honour killings" are perpetrated by Muslims, not Mormons or Jews.

Hardline Buddhists don't force little girls to wear Casper costumes in public. This whole business of making women cover themselves is used to justify rape of "decadently dressed women and girls".

Hindus won't put a death fatwa on you if you draw an unflattering picture of Ganesha.

Christians are happy for the Bible to be updated and edited, but when ancient conflicting versions of the Koran are discovered, the Koran is not to be altered.

Churches don't wake you up at 4am by blasting a call-to-prayer from shitty loudspeakers.

Zoroastrianism does not regard dogs as unclean.

Confucians don't require that meats and processed food be labeled "fit for consumption by Confucians" by a corrupt certification agency.

Sikhs are not required (if they can afford it) to make a pilgrimage to a black box in the desert, where poorly managed crowds can trample people to death.

Sure, all Abrahamic religions have texts that justify rape, misogyny and murder. Sure, the vast majority of Muslims are peaceful. But that doesn't mean that all religions are equally nice. Rising fundamentalism and radicalism do not bode well. Not least for the "peaceful majority".

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 19th July 2016, 5:02 PM BST

I don't see the connection, Adolf had no plans of persecution against muslims Keewik. Scotland is thought to be in danger of becoming the next France or Belgium and is high up on Europe's security radar. Glasgow is becoming a hotbed of Islamism and far right wing sunni muslim separatism like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia. These are not the friendly inclusive types your friend is, they are the ones promoting and carrying out religious based murders and hatred.

Pardon me if I tell you you're talking complete shite! You don't even live here and haven't a clue what you're saying. The comparison to Hitler is valid since you want to exterminate an entire people.

Quote: sootyj @ 19th July 2016, 5:41 PM BST

You can't do much about the lone wolves. But the large scale loons, last lot I think was that bunch trying to get bombs in mineral water bottles onto planes.

I'm sure there's plenty of organization, but you're lucky to live on an island where it's harder to smuggle in guns and explosives from the Balkans. But if a single lone wolf driving a truck can kill more people than the four 7/7 bombers, then it's still a lot to worry about.

I read that three people were shot and killed in a murder-suicide today in Spalding - doesn't Lee live there or nearby? I assume he's safe, since he doesn't seem like the murdery-suicidey type.

Mind you with all the open carry stuff in the states.

If I walk down the road in a bullet proof vest, festooned with magazines and carrying some Predator style "semi automatic carbine that isn't an assault rifle" at what point do the police ge to say,

"hey you look dangerous put that gun down now!"

Depends what colour you are.

Quote: DaButt @ 19th July 2016, 5:57 PM BST

I read that three people were shot and killed in a murder-suicide today in Spalding - doesn't Lee live there or nearby? I assume he's safe, since he doesn't seem like the murdery-suicidey type.

Yes I do and yes I am and no I'm not! It happened not far from me though. I think this small sleepy market town is now the murder capital of the UK, a title held previously by a town down t'road from here called Boston.

Who'd have thought Lincolnshire to be such a dangerous place to live? The most dangerous thing a few years ago would have been a stray cabbage.

Quote: sootyj @ 19th July 2016, 6:00 PM BST

Mind you with all the open carry stuff in the states.

If I walk down the road in a bullet proof vest, festooned with magazines and carrying some Predator style "semi automatic carbine that isn't an assault rifle" at what point do the police ge to say,

"hey you look dangerous put that gun down now!"

The open carry weirdos typically sling the rifles across their backs since holding the rifle or pointing it in the direction of people would be a crime and would likely end in their deaths.

Open carry of rifles has always been legal here in Texas and it's been legal to openly carry handguns since January 1st. I have never seen anyone openly carrying in the 10 years I've lived here. As soon as the new law went into effect most shops and restaurants erected signage to prohibit open carrying. Most of them are fine with concealed carry.

Quote: Lee @ 19th July 2016, 6:21 PM BST

Yes I do and yes I am and no I'm not! It happened not far from me though. I think this small sleepy market town is now the murder capital of the UK, a title held previously by a town down t'road from here called Boston.

Is there something in the water? When I Googled the shooting I found an article about 14-year-olds who murdered two people a few months ago. What was that all about?

Glad you're safe.

Quote: Lazzard @ 19th July 2016, 3:58 PM BST

But it's the organisers of that religion that fall under suspicion - those that allowed these things to go on. Even the most ardent protestant wouldn't consider every Catholic guilty or that child molesting is a tenant of their faith. But this is what Moslems are on the receiving end of, time and time again.

Yes, but that's because the perpetrators are within the clergy and should be under the control of the leaders. But if the child molesters are in the congregation, then the congregation itself falls under suspicion.

Whichever faith terrorists follow or claim to follow will lead to non-terrorist followers of that faith coming under suspicion because terrorism has become so high profile. And terrorists hide in plain sight within the same community and then appear as if from nowhere to commit the acts. In every case it's at least plausible that someone knew/suspected/had concerns.

I am hoping we are getting plenty of intelligence from UK communities as this is a key way to prevent some terrorism.

Quote: Lee @ 19th July 2016, 6:21 PM BST

Yes I do and yes I am and no I'm not! It happened not far from me though. I think this small sleepy market town is now the murder capital of the UK, a title held previously by a town down t'road from here called Boston.

Who'd have thought Lincolnshire to be such a dangerous place to live? The most dangerous thing a few years ago would have been a stray cabbage.

Another Lincolnshire survivor here but I'm up the top part. I see your dangerous cabbage and raise you escaped lions.
People think I'm winding them when I tell them this but it really happened.
Back in 91/92 there was a circus in town and some animal rights activists thought it would be a great idea to let the lions out. Two where rounded up pretty sharpish but one managed to scuttle all the way into town where it mauled a guy who luckily survived but from then on it just gets really f**king funny.
It carried on and somehow found it ways into the bus depot where a load of drivers ended up being trapped in the canteen as it went round sniffing everything.
So as the drivers are watching this lion a policeman from the station opposite wanders in, because of course by this point the station is getting a phone call every thirty seconds about a lion on the loose and as nothing ever happens round here it's seen as bored kids pissing about but just to be on the safe side they send one single solitary officer to investigate. So in he comes, sees the lion, probably wets himself and then runs like f**k back to the station to reminisce about the times when all he had to do was nick drug dealers and burglars. THEN as the lion continues to investigate the buses someone dressed as a clown turns up, wanders up to the lion and somehow manages to get the bloody thing under control using a chair and then takes it back to the circus as though this sort of thing happens all the time.

http://community.betfair.com/chit_chat/go/thread/view/94038/30143781/when-four-lions-broke-free-and-caused-terror-in-grimsby-streets#flvWelcomeHeader

https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1356&dat=19910309&id=N7hPAAAAIBAJ&sjid=NQcEAAAAIBAJ&pg=4006,6914606&hl=en

http://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/looking-day-lions-roamed-streets-grimsby/story-20741394-detail/story.html

Has that escaped lynx been caught yet? I bet someone's nicked it as a pet.

Quote: keewik @ 19th July 2016, 5:54 PM BST

The comparison to Hitler is valid since you want to exterminate an entire people.

Yes of course I do. What's the time, think I'll just nip out and neutralise a few billion people before EastEnders starts. Oh, finish me tea first.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 19th July 2016, 8:23 PM BST

Yes of course I do. What's the time, think I'll just nip out and neutralise a few billion people before EastEnders starts. Oh, finish me tea first.

Sounds accurate. I'm surprised you'd finish your 'tea'. Might mean you'd miss a few victims who died from natural causes while you were eating.

Sorry keewik, zooo, horse et al.........................I don't know why I blurted out what I did as clearly I am basing my experience on what I happen to read or see and that is unlike me as I just want to world to pass me by as smooth as it can as I linger here in the great waiting room for my number to be called - and unless it is just a bloody great light switch, we all may get the answers to what we ponder.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 20th July 2016, 11:56 AM BST

Sorry keewik, zooo, horse et al.........................I don't know why I blurted out what I did as clearly I am basing my experience on what I happen to read or see and that is unlike me as I just want to world to pass me by as smooth as it can as I linger here in the great waiting room for my number to be called - and unless it is just a bloody great light switch, we all may get the answers to what we ponder.

No problem.

Did this ever happen? I have been looking very closely at programmes like "Coast" and am disappointed not to have spotted any bobbing up and down in the water behind Neil Oliver etc:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-464768/Thousands-rubber-ducks-land-British-shores-15-year-journey.html

Sorry to hear about the events in Norfolk but it took me down memory lane. In Folkestone with three others, all in army uniform. I got a black eye. We all would have been beaten up by local bikers if it hadn't have been for the woman in the off licence letting us escape through her bathroom window. No one said it was a terrorist incident.

Instead, they called out the police to tell us off for not staying on the base as required and that we couldn't leave until the end of the weekend. It was also the time when they told us (at fourteen) that we would be among the first chosen to fight in a real war and if we didn't like the sound of it we should have joined the scouts instead.

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