British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 172

I finally told my partner about my asphyxiation fetish. He appreciated my honesty, but he didn't get choked up.

Stevie Wonder's so talented, he could play piano with his eyes closed.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 11th June 2016, 5:32 PM BST

Stevie Wonder's so talented, he could play piano with his eyes closed.

Laughing out loud

And Houdini could do his job with his hands tied behind his back.

They say Stephen Hawking's so clever he can pick up anything straightaway. Well I dropped a sheet of paper - f**k all. Duh!

Two rival factions of Islam have collaborated to make a recording of an old song.

It's "I Got You, Babe" by Suni and Shia.

Prime Minister steps on a twig. Brex it.

The worst thing about climbing Mount Everest is how bloody paranoid the sherpas are. Whenever I asked them for directions they muttered "summit up"

Mark King, his mother and his brother have diarrhea. Runs in the family.

It sadly also runs in their genes.

Hey the 1929s rang they want my joke back.

There's something fishy about Nicola Sturgeon and Alex Salmon

And Leslie Ash.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 25th June 2016, 11:28 AM BST

And Leslie Ash.

Nah, she is too wooden

There hasn't been this many people leaving a party as quick since Michael Barrymore's pool bash.

Quote: Nick81 @ 27th June 2016, 8:32 AM BST

There hasn't been this many people leaving a party as quick since Michael Barrymore's pool bash.

:D
(and good edit, by the way)

Quote: Reg N @ 27th June 2016, 2:03 PM BST

:D
(and good edit, by the way)

Indeed, having pool twice ruined it.

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