British Comedy Guide

EU Referendum - In Or Out? Page 19

They also didn't really address the big issues; TTIP, immigration, German hegemony, who was paying for defaulting south and Central Europan countries, security (e.g. Belgians dunno mate attitude towards terrorism till their airport blew up), failure to protect any of our key markets etc etc

I wouldn't say Brexit won, but I'd certainly say Bremain lost. Not least of all the utterly pitifully, shambolic effort put on by Labour. And well everyone except the Conservatives Bremainers who atleast made some sort of an effort.

Is so true that the scaremongering didn't help Cameron's cause, but conversely, we thought Farage campaign posters would do him sufficient damage, but seem to have stirred up more of a frenzied opinion against immigration, which could have tipped opinion on its own.

Either very clever or a total punt that paid off.

Farrage is a master of the dog whistle he could be world champion of One Man and his Dog.

Basically says something that probably is racist, but it's still accurate, sort of, just out of context.

Then stand back and watch the fireworks.

Apologise for the upset and says "but I'm just being honest about Turkish membership, cost of AIDS treatment for immigrants asylum seeking fungus being found on Mars."

All the people who like him think, "hey he's just being honest leave Nigel alone!"

and boom he wins again.

State of Play List:

Cameron steps down as PM - No need for speed
Johnson/Gove/Stuart - No need for speed
Juncker/EU/Germany - We expect a swift exit
Muddle about Labour leadership
Trump in Scotland speaks to camera
FTSE down 4%
Banks down 20%
Supermarkets down some percentage points
Steve Webb - There will be impact on pensions
Exchange rates - holiday makers' spending power down
Peston speaks of possible inflation, increase in interest rares
Increase in petrol prices
Recession not ruled out
Farage says no to sum of money on bus going to NHS
Sinn Fein statement on moving towards a new Ireland
Sturgeon - a Scottish independence referendum "likely"
Border issues - Scotland, NI raised today by journalists
Spain say on Gibralter must be shared rule
Ex-Pats in Spain say they are worried
Shopkeepers in Peterborough feel "not wanted"
Glastonbury youth - "gutted.....we didn't want this"

Local snapshot - OAPs and painters and decorators doing what they usually do, not talking about it specifically but slightly more buoyant than usual, sort of oblivious and not at all oblivious, more hesitation than usual in speech of ethnic shopkeepers as if they are very slightly uneasy and testing the water, assessing the vibes off customers

Liam Fox says we will probably leave in...........2019
No news of the Chancellor or the Home Secretary
No answers on the steel industry
No answers on whether there will be a huge rush of immigration
No answers on whether Brits will emigrate to Spain in future with same perks

Woman in Ebbw Vale - "Very therapeutic that we are in a mess right now" Rolling eyes

Both Sin Fein in NI and SNP in Scotland want out of the UK.

Want kind of a shrivelled rump are we going to be left with?

Shrivelled rump? We'll be a supermodels buttock by 2019.

Quote: sootyj @ 24th June 2016, 12:42 PM BST

Both Sin Fein in NI and SNP in Scotland want out of the UK.

Want kind of a shrivelled rump are we going to be left with?

Shrivelled rump? We'll be a supermodels buttock by 2019.

Yes.

It's looking like a right old Walenxit. :S

Aw, here comes another one. Labour MP Maggie Hodge has tabled a motion of no confidence in Corbyn. Wave

As we all know, no-one can predict what will happen as a result of the referendum outcome.* Still, here's my forecast for England (or the "Principality of Lower Scotland" as it will be known) once unshackled from those gravy-train pen-pushers in Brussels.

- Mars bars will go back to being a foot long.

- Men calling each other "squire" will become cool again.

- "Chocolate drop" will be an acceptable way of referring to a black person.

- "No speaka da lingo" will be the preferred response to a foreign person asking you for directions.

- We can go back to dipping dummies in sherry to shut babies up.

- Currency-wise we'll get 12 florins to the popperdicker.

- We can ditch those annoying "Please drink/gamble/whore/cockfight responsibly" messages at the end of adverts.

- Ben Elton will be commissioned by the BBC to re-write "Love thy Neighbour"

- Most shocking of all will be the mysterious reappearance of white dogshit.

* (Yeah, right.)

Quote: sootyj @ 24th June 2016, 12:26 PM BST

Farrage is a master of the dog whistle he could be world champion of One Man and his Dog.

Basically says something that probably is racist, but it's still accurate, sort of, just out of context.

Then stand back and watch the fireworks.

Apologise for the upset and says "but I'm just being honest about Turkish membership, cost of AIDS treatment for immigrants asylum seeking fungus being found on Mars."

All the people who like him think, "hey he's just being honest leave Nigel alone!"

and boom he wins again.

I know very little about Farage and his tendencies, but I do know that I hate fascism dressed up and sugar coated by the likes of Nick Griffin as 'not being anti-immigrant, but pro-British'.

I am also pro-British, and get the whole independence thing if it stems from a passion for proper patriotism and belief in our own country, but not by excluding genuine asylum seekers who, in some cases may want entry as a direct result of previous leaders of ours who saw fit to damage their own countries.

One of the dumbest statements ever made by a candidate for a position of power was, in recent times, in my opinion, made by Donald Trump saying he wanted to ban Muslims from entering USA when he must have known, pre terrorism in France, that the 'cells' are home-grown (and important point to make, were incidentally Muslim). Could be just campaigning tactic as all politicians use (or potential politician, in his case) to get a foothold, but surely, for the love of all that is good and true?!! (I think I need some food and a sleep as brain may be a tad gaga now) the majority of any democratic country sees through this bullshit and votes accordingly?

Wales unfortunately wants to stay with the UK and UKIP, it must be something in the water.

Quote: fopdoodle @ 24th June 2016, 12:57 PM BST

I know very little about Farage and his tendencies, but I do know that I hate fascism dressed up and sugar coated by the likes of Nick Griffin as 'not being anti-immigrant, but pro-british'.

That's kind of the problems fascism is one of the most widely used and least understood words.

Also Nigel isnt Nick he is a far more sophisticated creature.

Take him on at his own game. Except immigration and EU membership are reasonable subjects for discussion and not inherently racist.

Then start knocking his arguments because they're wrong not unacceptable.

Quote: sootyj @ 24th June 2016, 1:08 PM BST

Take him on at his own game. Except immigration and EU membership are reasonable subjects for discussion and not inherently racist.

Then start knocking his arguments because they're wrong not unacceptable.

Bingo!

Quote: Frantically @ 24th June 2016, 12:56 PM BST

As we all know, no-one can predict what will happen as a result of the referendum outcome.* Still, here's my forecast for England (or the "Principality of Lower Scotland" as it will be known) once unshackled from those gravy-train pen-pushers in Brussels.

- Mars bars will go back to being a foot long.

- Men calling each other "squire" will become cool again.

- "Chocolate drop" will be an acceptable way of referring to a black person.

- "No speaka da lingo" will be the preferred response to a foreign person asking you for directions.

- We can go back to dipping dummies in sherry to shut babies up.

- Currency-wise we'll get 12 florins to the popperdicker.

- We can ditch those annoying "Please drink/gamble/whore/cockfight responsibly" messages at the end of adverts.

- Ben Elton will be commissioned by the BBC to re-write "Love thy Neighbour"

- Most shocking of all will be the mysterious reappearance of white dogshit.

* (Yeah, right.)

Bloody hell, I wish I'd written that - but at least we still have berry coloured birdshit (and that's mine!).

But jolly good show, squire (or translated for the plebs: 'respec, innit' . . . . groan.) :P

. . . and FYI - my carer dips me in sherry for a number of reasons . . .

Quote: Frantically @ 24th June 2016, 12:56 PM BST

As we all know, no-one can predict what will happen as a result of the referendum outcome.* Still, here's my forecast for England (or the "Principality of Lower Scotland" as it will be known) once unshackled from those gravy-train pen-pushers in Brussels.

- Mars bars will go back to being a foot long.

- Men calling each other "squire" will become cool again.

- "Chocolate drop" will be an acceptable way of referring to a black person.

- "No speaka da lingo" will be the preferred response to a foreign person asking you for directions.

- We can go back to dipping dummies in sherry to shut babies up.

- Currency-wise we'll get 12 florins to the popperdicker.

- We can ditch those annoying "Please drink/gamble/whore/cockfight responsibly" messages at the end of adverts.

- Ben Elton will be commissioned by the BBC to re-write "Love thy Neighbour"

- Most shocking of all will be the mysterious reappearance of white dogshit.

* (Yeah, right.)

Inspired!

Quote: fopdoodle @ 24th June 2016, 12:57 PM BST

One of the dumbest statements ever made by a candidate for a position of power was, in recent times, in my opinion, made by Donald Trump

Today he came up with this jaw-dropping statement:

The people of the United Kingdom have exercised the sacred right of all free peoples. They have declared their independence from the European Union, and have voted to reassert control over their own politics, borders and economy. A Trump Administration pledges to strengthen our ties with a free and independent Britain, deepening our bonds in commerce, culture and mutual defence. The whole world is more peaceful and stable when our two countries - and our two peoples - are united together, as they will be under a Trump Administration.

Come November, the American people will have the chance to re-declare their independence. Americans will have a chance to vote for trade, immigration and foreign policies that put our citizens first. They will have the chance to reject today's rule by the global elite, and to embrace real change that delivers a government of, by and for the people. I hope America is watching, it will soon be time to believe in America again.

Quote: DaButt @ 24th June 2016, 3:01 PM BST

Today he came up with this jaw-dropping statement:

Who's going to win, Trump or Clinton?

Quote: Aaron @ 24th June 2016, 4:01 PM BST

Who's going to win, Trump or Clinton?

Who the hell knows? Clinton has a slight lead, but it could all be undone by an indictment on charges over her email server. Trump is starting to gain some traction and a substantial percentage of Sanders' supporters have said that they won't vote for Hillary. The media, of course, are in the tank for Hillary and they'll pull out all the stops in order to ensure her coronation. The recent assassination attempt against Trump received almost no press coverage.

It'll be interesting, that's for sure.

Both parties will hold their conventions next month and I expect some crazy shenanigans.

Share this page