British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,675

Quote: DaButt @ 9th June 2016, 11:00 PM BST

The whole "he must have a small penis" implication is stupid, whether it refers to sports cars, huge trucks or guns. People like different things. I'd never buy a $3000 carbon fiber bicycle, amass a $50,000 wine collection or spend thousands inking sleeves of tattoos on my arms but I'm not going to mock them (much) because to each his own...

Twelve guns is a rather modest collection; I own 6 and it's not an excessive number. Firearms are not a one-size-fits-all item, so it's perfectly normal to own several to serve several different purposes. Some of my neighbors own many dozens of firearms. They're fun to shoot and if you're a hunter you'll often find your collection to be in a constant state of growth. Guns remain function for centuries, so people also tend to inherit them over the years. The best guns are free guns! ;)

Different culture . . . and I am all for 'each to his/her own, live and let live' etc. but guns are still designed for killing, so owning one IS a status symbol for some.

Quote: NateSean @ 9th June 2016, 4:09 PM BST

This one's going to be a doozy. Strap yourself in.

I can understand how pissed off you must have been because it feels like everything is conspiring against you. Like with Adam Sandler in that aircraft scene from Anger Management or Jim Carrey in Me, Myself & Irene. "What? I never said anything remotely racist". :D

It sounds like you didn't do anything wrong and the staff were being arseheads so fair play for standing your ground and insisting the police attend. It's the same in the UK where no-one has the right to physically move you apart from the police. If you feel really aggrieved you should write about it in the social media sites. If you post about it on their facebook, twitter accounts they may respond with a more friendly approach to avoid this escelating.

Quote: fopdoodle @ 9th June 2016, 11:09 PM BST

but guns are still designed for killing, so owning one IS a status symbol for some.

That's really only true for criminals on the streets. Most Americans just see them as sporting goods, tools for hunting and/or implements of protection for themselves and their families.

Quote: DaButt @ 9th June 2016, 11:00 PM BST

Twelve guns is a rather modest collection; I own 6

What have you got?

We need pics!

Just realised I own guns too, but look more like this:

Image
. . . I have about 6 - I guess because I wanted to be Barbarella when I was little - probably still do. :$

My Wii gun.

Image

I do sometimes whip it out and pretend I am Rick Grimes.

Quote: zooo @ 10th June 2016, 12:06 PM BST

I do sometimes whip it out and pretend I am Rick Grimes.

Do you point it at things and make "pow" noises on your own, or is that just me?

Pew pew!

Course I do.

Quote: Nogget @ 10th June 2016, 10:01 AM BST

What have you got?

Quote: zooo @ 10th June 2016, 10:48 AM BST

We need pics!

Image

They're all locked away in a safe at the moment, but here are some representative images I've snatched from the Internet:

1) SIG Sauer SIGM400 Enhanced with Aimpoint Pro sight and 3x magnifier
Caliber: .223
Uses: Target shooting, hunting for small game like coyotes, hogs and deer.

2) Savage Model 11 FHNS with Leupold scope
Caliber: .308
Uses: Hunting for larger game like deer, elk and antelope.

3) Mossberg 930 SPX 8-shot tactical shotgun
Caliber: 12 gauge
Use: Home defence.

4) Ruger 10/22 with scope
Caliber: .22
Uses: General plinking and hunting for small game like rabbits.

5) Springfield Armory XD(M) 40
Caliber: .40
Use: Personal defence.

6) Smith & Wesson Model 642
Caliber: 38 Special +P
Use: Pocket gun for personal protection.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 9th June 2016, 11:14 PM BST

If you post about it on their facebook, twitter accounts they may respond with a more friendly approach to avoid this escelating.

Oh, I'm definitely posting on social media and review sites. Raising a fuss is something I've inherited from my parents. ;)

Here's the follow up on that post.

In the previous post, you read about the unpleasant encounter with the owner of Remember Salem, and his claim that I had a negative experience with one of his employees a "year ago". You can read the actual quote in this post.

I still maintain that I have never had any sort of negative experience with any employee at Remember Salem during any of the times I have been in there. In fact, one of the most recent times I had set foot in there was during October. Anyone who has been to Salem in October knows how busy it is. I'm not the first person to have jokingly referred to Salem as the temporary capital of Massachusetts during the time of the Psychic Fair.

So it's strange that this owner apparently remembers me in connection with a negative encounter when his and many other shops in the area are so packed full of tourists from all corners of the Earth.

However, as the title indicates, some new information has come to my attention. It's actually something that happened close to a year ago, and it's the only incident I can imagine this owner is referring to.

My dog was attacked last year. I documented this incident in the following post. I've written about at least one other incident involving an irresponsible dog owner in Salem Commons, but this particular incident was especially terrifying as actual teeth met flesh on this occasion. In this case the teeth belonged to a dog whose breed I will still not mention, as the breed has been wrongfully maligned, but I will mention by name as Athena.

Athena was poorly trained. I don't know her entire history, before that day, only that after the incident in which she broke free of her leash and attacked Dickens, also drawing John's blood in the process, the owner was required by law to place a muzzle on her when he was taking her for a walk as she had been deemed a dangerous dog. The owner seemed to believe that this was optional, as we encountered them several times out and about, without the required muzzle.

I refrained from documenting anything further about this incident for a few reasons. The officer who was building the case against Athena's owner had requested that John not talk too openly about the incident while the investigation was on going. I wasn't sure what details were safe to share on this blog, so I held back. John was also afraid of retaliation, since the owner lived so close by, so I held back out of respect to him.

Eventually, the problem took care of itself. Athena inevitably attacked at least one other person, resulting in her being put down. I want it to be clear that I don't take any satisfaction in knowing that the dog had to be put down for her owner's stupidity.

However, the owner of that dog, does occasionally work in downtown Salem, handing out fliers for some of the local businesses. Would any of my faithful readers care to guess which of the local businesses he handed out fliers for, last year? Yes, Remember Salem's "Ghost Tour" was among them. And I know that Athena's owner is on friendly terms with a number of people who work along Essex Street.SAM_0916.JPGSAM_0917

That would technically make him an employee of Remember Salem. So if the owner sees me as the reason why the dog of his irresponsible owner had to be put down, then clearly this is not a case of anything I did to threaten his business. This is the case of a man who believes, as he stated so bluntly himself, that he can do anything he wants. Including, but probably not limited to, bullying customers with the misguided notion of avenging a friend.

Where is this kind of behavior going to stop? We already had an incident involving a prominent local business owner who was a very strong and visible member of Salem's economy, getting arrested for trafficking heroin. This person is currently sitting in jail and has been ostracized by Salem's local psychic community. Clearly, not every single shop owner is represented by that man. But just like this drug dealer, the shop owner of Remember Salem has placed a negative mark on all of them by mistreating a member of the community.

Some may call it a bit extreme, my comparing this little man to a known drug trafficker. But I also remind you that before the police showed up, and I peacefully explained my side of the story and left the premises when the officers asked me to do so, this owner had made himself completely scarce. That's certainly not behavior that I would expect of a legitimate business owner who has nothing to hide from the law.

Quote: DaButt @ 10th June 2016, 1:26 PM BST
Image

They're all locked away in a safe at the moment, but here are some representative images I've snatched from the Internet:

Crikey . . . I wouldn't like to live in your neighbourhood if you need that much protection, and you hunt and kill animals - for food I hope rather than sport? This really shows me up as a proper townie, as you scare me a little.

But back to what pisses me off - today in particular was all the patriotic gushing about the queen's 90th birthday.

Don't get me wrong, I think she's done an amazing job with all she's had to endure over the years (not to mention that horrendous trip down the Thames in the rain when I was living in London and glad to be in a cosy flat just a few blocks up the road from it all) and I can't even remember a sick day apart from the gastroenteritis we were given far TMI about recently - but all this "Oooh, oooh - Happy Birthday your Majesty" nonsense spurting out of all available social media is like some sort of purging of guilt for not being the monarchist they could have been up until this point so they feel the need to go OTT so they can A. Ease their conscience, or B. Avoid getting their head chopped off.

I just find it a tad pathetic, really - and she probably just wants us all to naff off and leave her the chuff alone so she can enjoy a few gin and Dubonnets without us waving union jacks in her face and shouting platitudes at her - again.

Remember, Philip is 95 today, after all . . .

Quote: fopdoodle @ 10th June 2016, 4:36 PM BST

Crikey . . . I wouldn't like to live in your neighbourhood if you need that much protection, and you hunt and kill animals - for food I hope rather than sport? This really shows me up as a proper townie, as you scare me a little.

I'm sure my neighborhood is at least as safe as yours, if not more so. I've lived here for 10 years and there's never been a serious crime or burglary. Maybe it's because criminals know they're taking their lives in their hands if they attempt such a thing in heavily armed Texas. ;)

As I've said, there are different uses for different types of firearm. The shotgun and pistols are the only ones suitable for defence, as the rifles would be likely to shoot through exterior walls and enter my neighbors' houses.

I hunt, but only very occasionally. I think I've shot at 2 or 3 deer since I've moved to Texas; we butcher them ourselves and make them into delicious sausages and tasty treats for the grill. It costs a fair bit of money when all is said and done.

The state encourages people to shoot feral hogs (not worth eating) by offering a bounty, since they're an invasive and destructive species. Coyotes and other dangerous/destructive vermin are also available for hunting.

I rarely bother carrying a pistol unless I'm out on a ranch somewhere (protection from Mexican drug/human smugglers) or walking through the greenbelt near my neighborhood (protection from coyotes, rattlesnakes and/or the occasional mountain lion.) I'll usually bring a pistol if I'm going on a long road trip in case I break down in the middle of nowhere or on the rare occasions where I'm carrying a large amount of cash for a Craigslist transaction.

WOW . . . I guess if I was brought up on a farm or a ranch I would have a completely different attitude, but when I went on holiday as a child to the country in Scotland and saw deer, I was just so in awe of how majestic they were, though I understand why they have to be culled here (all kids have that Disney 'Bambi' image, I'm sure, which makes the killing of them rather hard to comprehend).

But you actually butcher them too. Blimey - that's sooo messy after actually taking its life, I can't imagine. I guess you really like venison!

Quote: fopdoodle @ 10th June 2016, 5:26 PM BST

WOW . . . I guess if I was brought up on a farm or a ranch I would have a completely different attitude, but when I went on holiday as a child to the country in Scotland and saw deer, I was just so in awe of how majestic they were, though I understand why they have to be culled here (all kids have that Disney 'Bambi' image, I'm sure, which makes the killing of them rather hard to comprehend).

They're as common as squirrels in my neighborhood. We can't hunt them, so they just get hit by cars; I'll reckon that two or more are hit every day within a half mile of my house. They also eat our vegetables gardens and poop all over our lawns and driveways, so I don't feel badly about eating one on occasion.

My neighbor found an abandoned day-old fawn last week that was near death and nursed it back to health before turning it over to some sort of sanctuary, so it's not all death by rifle or collision...

Quote: fopdoodle @ 10th June 2016, 5:26 PM BST

But you actually butcher them too. Blimey - that's sooo messy after actually taking its life, I can't imagine. I guess you really like venison!

It's really not all that messy if you do it properly. It's a great refresher course in anatomy when you gut it and get a close look at all the internal organs. Rather fascinating.

Being able to hunt and butcher animals is a skill that humans have only started to give up in the last hundred years or so. We wouldn't be here today without it, so it's not a bad skill to have if you ever find yourself in a survival situation.

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