Quote: Sarc @ 30th May 2016, 6:18 PM BSTBecause I would most likely burst into flames where I to set foot through its doors, well that and I find the whole idea of organised, disorganised too come to think of it, religion a complete load of rancid floppy donkey cock.
Have you told the radical muslims that?
Travelling.
Whether it's being stuck on London's hamster wheel (or M25) or stuck at an airport.
Can't think of any place I want to go to more than I don't want to travel to.
I prefer to be in control of my travel plans rather than fretting about my timetable/fate/life in the hands of others, so have my trips to Tesco down to a fine art . . . managing to avoid potential delays and hazards along the way.
I choose when I go, don't get stuck anywhere or have to wait around with my life and I generally get home the same way without being diverted to Cardiff.
Score. 
Insincere expressions of goodwill - and by that I mean virtual strangers who appear to want you to experience a pleasant time for no discernible reason.
"Have a nice day" was annoying enough when it came to our shores from across the pond, but there are variations on that now such as "have a great afternoon" and "enjoy the rest of your day" which doesn't quite work as a concept for the Brits.
But the worst are the words uttered to me on a daily basis at Sainsbury's now - compounded by most likely being briefed to do so - and these are "take care" - and regardless of whether it is delivered by staring at the floor and mumbling or clean in your face with a big, equally loud smile, all I get from it is "really - you need to start taking better care of yourself - I mean, look at the state of you."
They could be right, but they don't mean it so it doesn't matter, so what's the point of telling someone (if you take it another way) that they need to perhaps avoid a potential accident later because they may not be demonstrating due care and attention with their lives? I don't think I have ever told someone to take care or even have a nice day because it's nonsense. I may have told someone to look after themselves because they have had a rough time, but never empty platitudes to strangers.
Next time someone gives me such advice, I will need to have a stock response, but haven't decided quite what yet.
The one that always gets me is 'See you later.' I want to seize them by the throat and ask, 'When, where, why?'
Apart from that, I've said it before and I'll say it again - why is it that I park miles from other cars in semi- empty car parks and I come back to find bastards jammed against my car. Happened again today - one on either side. This is why the last one ended up full of scrapes and bashes.
You'll gather I'm feeling violent tonight.
This happens to me a lot because I park in a quiet area of a supermarket almost every day for lunch and most of the time people know the etiquite which is to park at least one space away and no noise. Sometimes people come along who will park up and leave the engine running so they can power the air con or will be talking loudly with their phone on hands free. Spoiling the peaceful atmos and making the wildlife disappear. Bastards!
Nothing better than seeing a robin up close and because I'm in the car and there is nobody else around they come as close as I will ever get.
I also think there is a human nature to people parking up close to other cars so I can't be too hard on them when they choose to park right next to me even if there is an empty car park to choose from.
Quote: fopdoodle @ 1st June 2016, 9:53 PM BSTInsincere expressions of goodwill - and by that I mean virtual strangers who appear to want you to experience a pleasant time for no discernible reason.
I'll take that over brusque aloofness and a grim countenance any day.
Word
Quote: DaButt @ 1st June 2016, 11:16 PM BSTI'll take that over brusque aloofness and a grim countenance any day.
Only trouble with 'taking that' is you're not actually accepting what they are saying because they are not really saying that at all.
In fact, what they are probably saying in their head is equivalent to the 'brusque aloofness' you'd rather they didn't demonstrate.
But at least by demonstrating that is honest . . . so I'd much rather have that because they are clearly just having a rough day which has little or nothing to do with you!
Quote: DaButt @ 1st June 2016, 11:16 PM BSTI'll take that over brusque aloofness and a grim countenance any day.
I have to agree with Fopdoodle on this one, it pisses me off a treat. If they say have a nice day and they really do mean it then fair enough but if they're being made to say it then they can f**k off, I'd much rather have someone short and abrupt because at least they're being honest.
I used to work for a branch of H&M when I was younger and a friend and I came to the conclusion that the majority of people, once they've completed their transactions and such, don't actually listen to a word you're saying so we decided to put it to the test by being as rude and obnoxious as we could be without actually drawing any attention to ourselves (bearing in mind said friend and I were floor managers at the time) and surprisingly, or not, we were right as we managed to go a full hour insulting customers to their faces without a single response and til the day I left of my own accord nothing was ever said about it.
On a slightly related note whenever I'm down in London now there's a hotel I use that had it been the 70s it could well have been the basis for Fawlty Towers. The staff are so rude and unhelpful but in such a way that it's absolutely hilarious.i keep going back purely to see what happens, or doesn't happen, next.
Two examples
The first time I checked in I was told what time breakfast was served and that a fully cooked English breakfast was available but as I'm a pesky vegetarian I simply asked if there was a veggie option which got the reply "well the sausages are pork, so......." so I repeated my question thinking the receptionist had misheard me and this time she stared at me blankly and said "yeah I'd give breakfast a miss if I were you" and walked off.
Another time I was there with a girlfriend who had forgotten to bring her hairdryer but as the room was supposed to have one in there it was no problem, but there wasn't so I went to ask for one and a completely different receptionist rolled her eyes, tutted and said "it's dead windy outside, can't she just stick her head out the window?"
Five Kings, you're shit but I bloody love you.
Quote: fopdoodle @ 1st June 2016, 11:25 PM BSTOnly trouble with 'taking that' is you're not actually accepting what they are saying because they are not really saying that at all.
In fact, what they are probably saying in their head is equivalent to the 'brusque aloofness' you'd rather they didn't demonstrate.
Quote: Sarc @ 1st June 2016, 11:38 PM BSTI have to agree with Fopdoodle on this one, it pisses me off a treat. If they say have a nice day and they really do mean it then fair enough but if they're being made to say it then they can f**k off, I'd much rather have someone short and abrupt because at least they're being honest.
I guess it all comes down to personal experience. Every 5 or 10 years I'll run into a waitress/bartender/clerk who is an insufferably cranky bastard, but it's rare indeed. I occasionally encounter someone whose "have a nice day" sounds slightly less than sincere, but it's typically a young teenager and I'd estimate that actual smiles and heartfelt greetings outnumber the forced ones by more than a hundred to one.
Texas is a very friendly and polite state where the sirs and ma'ams flow freely and all the kids call you Mister or Miss Firstname, but I've lived all over the country and traveled quite a bit and I rarely encounter a fraudulent greeting. I think most people are friendly and kind and it takes almost no energy to muster a smile and brief pleasantry. The cute 20-year-olds at the bar/restaurant built into my local grocery store have no real motivation to be nice to a 50-year-old geezer since they don't receive tips (unusual for the States) but they still come over, sit at my table and give me a smile, handshake and the occasional hug when they see me. It's nice to be nice!
In my experience the most surly servers have been in overcrowded, immigrant-heavy, expensive places like New York City. I haven't experienced a lot of friendly service in places like Paris or London, but I've met a lot of very friendly strangers in small communities far away from the urban jungle.
The next time someone throws a pleasantry your way just smile and return the favor. It costs nothing and it feels nice to be nice. Try it!
Interviews with people where for whatever reason their identity is concealed by filming them from behind with a wig on or hoodie and/or out of focus and then say that the voice is that of an actor.............then why go to all that f**king trouble when the reporter might just as well read their statement out.
For all we know the twat in the hoodie/wig is an actor too - what a waste of time and money.
Quote: DaButt @ 2nd June 2016, 3:55 AM BSTI guess it all comes down to personal experience. Every 5 or 10 years I'll run into a waitress/bartender/clerk who is an insufferably cranky bastard, but it's rare indeed. I occasionally encounter someone whose "have a nice day" sounds slightly less than sincere, but it's typically a young teenager and I'd estimate that actual smiles and heartfelt greetings outnumber the forced ones by more than a hundred to one.
Texas is a very friendly and polite state where the sirs and ma'ams flow freely and all the kids call you Mister or Miss Firstname
I used to frequent an italian restaurant in Arezzo and we just went for the waitress alone because she was so foul. She clearly hated her job and we took it as a challenge to 'break' her and finally did and even made her laugh. Turned out she hated most of her customers as they disrespected her and were even quite rude (tourists AND italians, I think) but we said she shouldn't take it personally as it says more about them so she should rise above it as we thought she was fabulous.
Anyway, I would love to be addressed as 'Ma'am' or 'Miss Amanda', but females get 'love' here which is patronising and rather disrespectful (I am not your love so don't call me that - WTF?) while blokes get 'mate' - but in a certain context, it really means you're looking for a fight (or 'pal' in Scotland means they are about to remove your head very fast). So I call everyone 'mate' just because girls don't use it, I call my postman 'darling' for some reason, and the other day when checkout guy at Tesco's said 'love' after every question ('Need a bag love? Is that all, love? Want your receipt, love?') I departed by replying "Cheers, love" and he looked at me like I had just relieved myself on his shoes. Funny how the most inappropriate greetings become the norm for one gender, but switch it around and it's outrageous . . . I do seem to get away with 'mate' though. 
You have to realise DaButt that it is not the British way. We want sincere hepful service. Not some fixed grin and scripted "welcome" which of course all originated from your side of the pond.We as a race are ultra cynical!
Quote: Chappers @ 2nd June 2016, 9:11 PM BSTWe want sincere hepful service. Not some fixed grin and scripted "welcome"
As I tried to explain, I almost never experience fake smiles or greetings. They're genuine. You'd have to go to an overcrowded, overpriced place like New York City to stand much of a chance of running into dour, don't-make-eye-contact sourpusses in public, but even there you stand a better than even chance of having friendly, smiling service. As I've said, it's not that difficult to be nice to someone, especially if they haven't done anything to warrant the cold shoulder.
Maybe living on a cold, dreary isle for eons has damaged your country's genetic capacity for friendliness. 