Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 14th April 2016, 6:27 PM BSTSitcom about Angelina Jolie's husband trying passive anal. Breaking Brad.
That's The Pitts.
Tell us a joke Page 166
I just want to explain: First time I ejaculated, I had tissues. Glad I cleared that up.
My wife thinks I've always got sex on the mind. Cum to think about it...
A man thinks about sex once every 3 minutes. He should use better pornography.
I think about sex every time I see my wife.
I think "F**k, what have I done?"
I went to the funeral of a cardiothoracic surgeon today, she touched the hearts of so many.
I went to the funeral of a Catholic Priest today.
They talked about what he used to do best.
It was touching.
What's a pig's least favourite play? Ham-let.
A good writer is like sperm. Sticks to the briefs.
A tree misses its girlfriend. Pine.
If a celeb did a song with this title today they'd say it was about shagging retards. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OUiuVNWxYA
Again with the learning disabled jokes? Are you just jealous they can get a job at Tescos?
When you did a degree in collecting shopping trolleys and still couldn't make the grade.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 15th April 2016, 6:45 PM BSTIf a celeb did a song with this title today they'd say it was about shagging retards. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OUiuVNWxYA
That make me want to cover Des o Conner in tar, who's the re-tared now ? No wonder Eric Morecombe took the p*ss out of him. Eric = ledged, Des = who ?
Des O Conner was arrested leaving his tanning parlour in Northern Ireland. They've banned the orange march. If he was a bigger star, I could have left out the "tanning parlour" bit.
Writing a sitcom about trees. Need some log lines.
It's called a bonus cos that's what you have to do to get one.
When I get birthday wishes on Facebook, I make a special effort to say thank you. To Facebook. Those c**ts wouldn't remember.
Exponential furniture - Log tables.
Quote: Reg N @ 14th April 2016, 11:28 PM BSTI went to the funeral of a Catholic Priest today.
They talked about what he used to do best.
It was touching.
AWESOME. Unlike rowing, that's oarsome.
Quote: Reg N @ 14th April 2016, 6:33 PM BSTThat's The Pitts.
That's good. Mind if I use it in my next open mic? 'Sitcom etc... Sorry, that was the Pitts.'
Quote: Nick Nockerty @ 13th April 2016, 2:08 PM BSTMandela's wife has a new book out about her bowel movements; Winnie, The poo.
Anniversary of the death of Mandela, campaigner against racism in all forms, even language... Golly. What a black day. Sorry, just callng a spade a spade.
I Always thought Winnie the Pooh sounded like anal.
David Beckham confesses to a perversion, putting curry powder in Victoria's anus. It's called, Spice up yer wife.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 16th April 2016, 4:19 PM BSTAWESOME. Unlike rowing, that's oarsome.
That's good. Mind if I use it in my next open mic? 'Sitcom etc... Sorry, that was the Pitts.'
Feel free. Or four if you're lucky.
Btw, I thought the Catholic priest one was more up your street.