Quote: davetwojackets @ 9th March 2016, 5:02 PM GMTThe milking cow on our farm was very quick on her feet. If you looked away just for a second she'd go past your eyes
Tell us a joke Page 158
Popular writer took the outskirts to court. Sue Townsend.
The stars were beautiful last night.
The rain was sweet and cold.
The wind sang its lonely song.
I MUST fix that f**king hole in the roof!
***
My wife wrote my car off.
The mechanic asked me "Did you put fuel in it before she drove off?"
I said "Yes"
He said "There's your problem"
I bust my ass convicing my parents I'm gay.
So, I was walking down the street and a man came up to me and said;
"Why don't people in jokes walk up the street?"
In Spain they call me El Monkhouse. They take the mick out of my name.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 12th March 2016, 10:59 AM GMTIn Spain they call me El Monkhouse. They take the mick out of my name.
So in Spain Reg would be El N. So the rumours about El N DeGeneres dressing like a man are true. 
Take a coin out of your pocket and have a look at it.
If it's got my name on, it's mine.
What are you doing with my coin?
Quote: Reg N @ 14th March 2016, 5:04 PM GMTTake a coin out of your pocket and have a look at it.
If it's got my name on, it's mine.
What are you doing with my coin?
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 12th March 2016, 10:59 AM GMTIn Spain they call me El Monkhouse. They take the mick out of my name.
Ha!
48% of priests develop pedophile tendencies because they feel isolated and alone and lack the healthy outlet of marrage. The rest just like f**king kids.
Budget day joke
Why doesn't George Osborn have any Jewish friends ? Because if you like Osborn you're probably a complete prick.
If it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger
Obviously unless you are suffering with chronic muscular dystrophy
When porn actors prepare, do they need a dress rehearsal?
Inexperienced porn actors - up and coming.