Hello, I would really appreciate any feedback/ideas on the idea/scene etc below.
My idea is a sitcom around a failing UK wrestling promotion/company and whether they can make changes / accept changes to give the business the best chance of surviving in the face of dwindling crowds, an ageing talent roster and competition from various huge american promotions.
Begins.
WE ARE IN A SNALL, POORLY DECORATED AND COLD BACK ROOM AT A UK WRESTLING SHOW IN THE NORTH OF ENGLAND.
THE PROMOTER AND BRITISH WRESTLING LEGEND , MICK MCMANN AND HIS WIFE, AGEING FEMALE WRESTLING STAR, PRINCESS LADY ARE WATCHING THE WRESTLING ACTION FROM BEHIND THE SCENES.
ALTHOUGH MICK IS ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT WHAT HE IS WATCHING PRINCESS LOOKS UNHAPPY AND INCREASINGLY FRUSTRATED BY MICK'S INTERPRETATION OF WHAT HE IS WATCHING
PRINCESS
Jesus Mick, this is awful - We can't go on like this.
MICK
What you on about, it's been a great night!
Rory "The Flying Scotsman" McGregor managed a great back flip off the top rope - despite his hernia , The Giant wrestled for a good fifteen minutes without coughing up blood and Kid Vicious hasn't punched any children - this has been the best show for months! We just need Hulk Harris to turn up now for the main event (looks at watch and nervously looks out the back window)
PRINCESS
Successful? In the last week we've seen 95 in Stockport , 120 in Darlington and tonight 75 ...tops
MICK(INSPECTING AT THE CROWD) No got to be 80 at least
PRINCESS
I'm talking about numbers in the crowd not the average age
MICK
Don't knock it we do very well getting the pensioners in, should be a bus load from Hartlepool here for the main event - then the place will be rocking!
PRINCESS LOOKS UNIMPRESSED
MICK I've got a job lot of Wurthers Originals on the concession stand - 100% mark up!
PRINCESS
100% f**k up more like - none of them pay full price - we should stop the pensioners and disabled discount
MICK
Oh not sure about that , might annoy the lads
PRINCESS
Huh, take it personal you reckon?
MICK
Eh?
PRINCESS
Look at that daft sod out there - The Lightning Kid. Huh, the Lightning Kid - he must be sixty. You get anywhere near him and all you can smell is deep heat and "just for men"
MICK
That's not age, that's experience , don't knock it. He has forgotten more about wrestling than some of these young lads have ever learnt
PRINCESS
Yeah, that's alzheimers for you. You've got to work out whether you want to be running a successful wrestling promotion or a retirement home for your knackered mates
THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND A YOUNG WRESTLER COMES IN. RAJ IS WEARING BABBGY RED PYJAMA BOTTOMS AND A SHORT BRIGHT GREEN ORNATE SATIN WAISTCOAT
MICK
Oh not now son, board meeting
PRINCESS
Come in Raj luv, I'm off to get a drink (PRINCESS LEAVES TO HEAD FOR THE BAR)
RAJ
Mick, we've got to talk it's an emergency
MICK
Alright but make it quick, I've got a mass suicide to arrange
RAJ
Look, you know I am right behind you and I'm fully committed to wrestling for you Mick. You're my hero, when I was a kid I used to love watching your matches on video,(BEAT) on Betamax videos that my Dad had from when he was a nipper
MICK
Come on son, get to the point
RAJ
(PLUCKING UP COURAGE) OK, well, what it is ; I can't be wrestling as The Arabian Assassin Ali Baba anymore. It's, it's old fashioned and it's racist
MICK
Whoa, hold on a minute there Raj - what's so bad about being old fashioned? Everyone thought ballroom dancing was old fashioned, now look at it, biggest show on the telly
RAJ
Yeah but it wouldn't be if Tess and Claudia were blacking up every week. (HOLDS UP A TUB OF BISTO GRAVY GRANULES)
Have a look out there, that's what's wrong with being old fashioned - its like a Jimmy Saville rememberance service.
How about you let me try one of my new characters tonight ?
MICK:
new character? Too many more nights like this son and won't be new characters we'll need, it's new careers
RAJ:
exactly! We need to build crowds; bring in younger fans, get a buzz going, some controversy, that's how we would get a deal with a TV company
MICK:
oh yeah, so what's the plan then Kent Walton?
RAJ:
OK, got a great idea for a...Kent who?
MICK
Never mind
RAJ:
OK, new heel character....Saddam Bin Laden!
MICK:
You read the papers son?
RAJ:
And on my way to the ring I pull back me robe to reveal what appears to be a suicide bomb vest, but it's actually rows of sausages, coz he's actually a halal butcher from Derby.
MICK :
Are you taking the piss?
RAJ
No, its edgy, its controversial, it will have people talking
MICK Y
Yeah it will have people talking, audiences, then the police and then judges and all of them talking at me about going to prison
RAJ:
And the best part is that on my way to the ring I come out with 96 virgins.
MICK
where am I going to find 96 virgins by half eight..in Bury?
RAJ
Well my sister is in Year 11 and I've sort of promised a load of her mates I can...
MICK
No! Definitely not! Look I know youre eager lad but you can't use these lazy stereotypes, playing on ignorance and bigotry to make a quick buck
RAJ
(looking sheepish) Sorry Mick
MICK
No problem, now go on, you're on in fifteen minutes, go and get your curly slippers on
RAJ
(leaving)
SIGHS
ENDS