Astronaut Tim Peake is currently missing after a collision involving the International Space Station and Santa.
Tell us a joke Page 139
Quote: Nigel Kelly @ 24th December 2015, 11:51 AM GMTAstronaut Tim Peake is currently missing after a collision involving the International Space Station and a man in a flying sleigh.
Should have stopped when they saw the red light...
My wifes a chemist so for Christmas I bought her some mendelivium and a pepper grinder.
Big mistake.
In the end she just ground me down.
The National Trust has commemorated the residences of the first actors to ever play Romeo and Juliet. A plaque on both their houses!
Quote: gappy @ 25th December 2015, 11:11 AM GMTThe National Trust has commemorated the residences of the first actors to ever play Romeo and Juliet. A plaque on both their houses!
I hate all sheets, duvets and quilts. Sorry, that's a blanket statement.
What did the pile of puke say to the pile of vomit?
I'm not telling you it's a sick joke.
My wife is a mute. She communicates by embroidery.
It's her own version of sign language, sew to speak.
I cooked the turkey for 4 hours at 130 degrees.
Only one side was done and the juices ran into the bottom of the oven.
I'm a bit like Batman- Couldn't get by without Robin- (Aaron Relf)Don't steal
I told my mate he was stupid, so he drank 18 bottles of Heineken.
But it didn't make my bud wiser.
I took Sarah Jessica Parker to give my friend Walter a blow job, but she spat. You can lead a horse to Walter...
I hit someone over the head with a pepper pot.
Surely I can't be accused of assaulting?
(There's a better joke in there somewhere)
Quote: Reg N @ 24th December 2015, 11:11 AM GMTIf Jesus had been gay...
But if Jesus had been gay - he would have hung around with men and not have married and had children...oh, hang on a minute...
Quote: Reg N @ 24th December 2015, 11:11 AM GMTIf Jesus had been gay,
It would be good willy to all men.
Is that the Manchester City striker? He does look a bit....