Hey All
We will be posting several videos in the future and we would really appreciate your feedback and help to be able to grow and get better. We also look for writers, producers, editors and actors who would like to join our production. It is unpaid "work" but good fun and when the more keeps rolling in we won't forget your input.
Kind regards,
Lokemo Entertainment
Here is our latest treat
Neat.
Thank a lot for the feed back. Very much appreciated!!!
The first 2 minutes were of a woman doing her make-up and you didn't make it visually or aurally interesting. I didn't see much of the rest I'm afraid - It didn't grab my attention. You need to move things along quicker.
Yacob only has a 6 second attention span 
True. But you could probably cut the 1st 2 minutes without it affecting the rest of the story. Is seeing her do make-up really that important?
Sorry, did not watch it all, lost interest early on then fast forwarded to the end. The loo roll joke is very old (poss Chubby brown?)
I'd never heard the joke before, and even if it's an oldie, it's perfectly serviceable - but it's also only about 6% of this video. Don't show us people getting dressed for 2 minutes. If you have a scene in a restaurant, don't show people ordering, and the food arriving. Don't have a scene in a restauarant at all, if it's only relevant to a mystifyingly pointless sub-plot. Don't have a mystifyingly pointless sub-plot. Don't have a sub-plot.
I'm being a bit harsh, because the central joke isn't bad, but everything else is either dull or, worse, confusing, which means that only serial critics/masochists like us on here will ever watch it. If you want to know what I'm getting at, look at this joke:
-My dog's got no nose.
-How does it smell?
-Well...
-Wait, wait, tell me, where did you get this dog?
-I got it from my aunt Tabitha.
-Oh, how is your aunt Tabitha?
-She's fine. I'll tell you about her whilst I'm having my haircut, if you like.
-Sure, I'll come along. Just let me put a hat on
[7 minutes of trying on hats]
[Caption: 11 years 4 months later]
-Well, we're married now.
-Yes. Though I've gone off you, because you painted the kitchen badly.
-I thought I did a good job.
-Well, you didn't. You are a terrible painter of kitchens. Also, that dog you bought that had no nose? I'll tell you how it smelt: awful!
[Fade to black]
So was it just the old joke where the punchline is, "it worked on your arse!"
Quote: sootyj @ 30th November 2015, 9:54 PM GMTSo was it just the old joke where the punchline is, "it worked on your arse!"
Yep.
Though thinking about this - if you called it a post, post, post modern deconstruction of an anti-joke you could probably sell this for £700,000 to Saatchi to loop as an installation in his gallery...
Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ 30th November 2015, 1:21 PM GMTYou need to move things along quicker.
Years ago someone told me if you do just one minute but it's all good people think you're all good. Do 10 minutes with more good stuff but dead wood too and instead of appreciating it they think you're hit 'n' miss. Unfair but true.