Quote: Lazzard @ 19th October 2015, 1:34 PM BST
So, did you get the gig?
Yes actually.
Status report Page 5,863
Quote: sootyj @ 19th October 2015, 2:20 PM BSTYes actually.
Treat 'em mean - keep 'em keen.
Well done.
Occasionally, just occasionally , honesty really is the best policy
Couldn't get to sleep for hours last night. When I did kept weird dreams...Which would wake me up again. Definitely going to be a coffee day I think.
Quote: Nick Nockerty @ 19th October 2015, 12:54 PM BSTThat's a long row. How big is your garden ?
Not as big as the one in my head. That extends to the one in my early childhood and Woodstock which merge on my left hand side but oddly not the right. Well, it's the left eye and ear and right below the neck. It's not on the other diagonal which is tiny and strictly urban although it is above average for my age in intelligence.
Tried to explain to the isolated elderly Italian gentleman with a stick that there was a fairly normal Italian gentleman living at the corner house. People said that it was wrong as the first doesn't speak English, the second wouldn't want to know him and it was all bound to lead to trouble. Also, they said, the first rummages in everyone's dustbins and gets his willy out to urinate at the block of garages but only when women over 80 are there. And he has a strange fetish for elastic bands which the postman drops every day on the pavement.
Well, I tried. He doffed his cap as usual and said "good morning boy". But when I persisted he looked like absolute thunder and said "thank you, thank you, now move on, just move on". It was so intense. People are wrong that he doesn't understand English. He is fluent but a nut who just happens to be an anti-social bastard.
Quote: A Horseradish @ 25th October 2015, 1:54 AM GMTTried to explain to the isolated elderly Italian gentleman with a stick that there was a fairly normal Italian gentleman living on the corner house. People said that it was wrong as the first doesn't speak English, the second wouldn't want to know him and it was all bound to lead to trouble. Also, they said, the first rummages in everyone's dustbins and gets his willy out to urinate at the block of garages but only when women over 80 are there. And he has a strange fetish for elastic bands which the postman drops every day on the pavement.
Well, I tried. He doffed his cap as usual and said "good morning boy". But when I persisted he looked like absolute thunder and said "thank you, thank you, now move on, just move on". It was so intense. People are wrong that he doesn't understand English. He is fluent but a nut who just happens to be an anti-social bastard.
Reminds me of the time I tried to be helpful to an elderly sozzled neighbour who lived on my estate, warning him that he was waiting in vain at the bus stop as there'd been a major incident in town, and no buses were moving at all.
He vociferously told me to F Off!
We later became quite friendly though. He used to sing his support for Chelsea FC on the bus most days, which amused some of the passengers, and annoyed others.
Don't mock the elastic band fetish. My mother used to do that. Mind you, she did have Alzheimer's. She also (as I discovered when I had to clear out the house) gathered up sticks and pieces of wood and stored them in her cellar.
AWouldn't it be more disturbing if he got somebody else's willy out?
Quote: sootyj @ 25th October 2015, 12:41 PM GMTAWouldn't it be more disturbing if he got somebody else's willy out?
Good question. I will ask Irene, 87, when I next see her in the cul-de-sac.
Quote: keewik @ 25th October 2015, 11:14 AM GMTDon't mock the elastic band fetish. My mother used to do that. Mind you, she did have Alzheimer's. She also (as I discovered when I had to clear out the house) gathered up sticks and pieces of wood and stored them in her cellar.
I wasn't mocking it. He is protecting birds' beaks from slobs in the postal service.
Quote: George Kaplan @ 25th October 2015, 2:09 AM GMTReminds me of the time I tried to be helpful to an elderly sozzled neighbour who lived on my estate, warning him that he was waiting in vain at the bus stop as there'd been a major incident in town, and no buses were moving at all.
He vociferously told me to F Off!
We later became quite friendly though. He used to sing his support for Chelsea FC on the bus most days, which amused some of the passengers, and annoyed others.
There was a blackbird on a wire when I lived in Sutton. When it sang "Manchester United" I came to recognise that it meant all the trains would be buggered up. So, yes, the similarities in our experiences are uncanny.
My friend's wife bought me a sweet t-shirt. She knows me well. 
You're a glutton for punishment >_<
Quote: DaButt @ 25th October 2015, 10:49 PM GMTMy friend's wife bought me a sweet t-shirt. She knows me well.
I think that sums up the Yanks perfectly!
Told yer.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 26th October 2015, 9:17 AM GMTTold yer.
I ain't skeered.
The women of Walmart must swoon at your approach and blush all over their red necks.