Sometimes if I'm on my own I like to use the shower to clean my bottom rather than the toilet paper.
Admit An Obscure Truth About Yourself Page 3
I don't think I want to know this. 
I find it difficult to think of an obscure truth. I tend to think if you're absolutely honest about your life and origins, nobody has any ammunition to 'down' you. Up till I was 5 we lived in a 'single end' in the centre of Glasgow, where there were prostitutes living in the same street. Will that do?
Yes of course but it would be better if you wrote a punchline into the story. it is allowed to be exaggerated or even untrue. The main point of this thread is to say something funny.
Quote: Davey Jay @ 3rd October 2015, 7:52 PM BSTSometimes if I'm on my own I like to use the shower to clean my bottom rather than the toilet paper.
Isn't that a bit awkward in the Asda café?
Quote: Davey Jay @ 3rd October 2015, 9:30 PM BSTYes of course but it would be better if you wrote a punchline into the story. it is allowed to be exaggerated or even untrue. The main point of this thread is to say something funny.
Ha. now I understand.
If that's where it happens, that's where it happens. It was a bit awkward once though, yes.
But the cleaning staff! What a great job! And Asda, they sell everything you need. Thanks again to the staff at Asda in Bury.
Quote: zooo @ 2nd October 2015, 3:01 PM BSTI thought parent and child spaces were just wider - to have more room around the car to get prams and all that out.
That doesn't explain why they're closer to the shop though.
When I was kid we didn't need special parent/child parking spaces. Cars didn't have seatbelts in the back so kids were kept in the boot. They would stop the milk and Ribena bottles from falling over on the way home from the supermarket. They were glass back then.
Now it's all plastic bottles and seatbelts, kids are in the back of the car and I have nowhere to park!
Quote: DougWonnacott @ 3rd October 2015, 10:53 PM BSTWhen I was kid we didn't need special parent/child parking spaces. Cars didn't have seatbelts in the back so kids were kept in the boot. They would stop the milk and Ribena bottles from falling over on the way home from the supermarket. They were glass back then.
Now it's all plastic bottles and seatbelts, kids are in the back of the car and I have nowhere to park!
Kids wrapped themselves up in those scratchy tartan rugs. Tests proved that the woolen fabric acted in a very similar way to airbags do.
I feel happy today because Busted are getting back together.
And my verruca fell off!
Quote: Davey Jay @ 3rd October 2015, 7:52 PM BSTSometimes if I'm on my own I like to use the shower to clean my bottom rather than the toilet paper.
Get a wash and dry toilet.
I can't co-ordinate anything above my waist.
Quote: Davey Jay @ 3rd October 2015, 7:52 PM BSTSometimes if I'm on my own I like to use the shower to clean my bottom rather than the toilet paper.
That makes sense. I once cleaned a stranger's ass in the toilets at Asda, he wouldn't spring for a hotel room. In my defence he said it was a donkey, but it was way bigger than that more like a horse. Punters will tell you anything for a five finger discount.
Quote: Nick Nockerty @ 6th October 2015, 4:53 PM BSTThat makes sense. I once cleaned a stranger's ass in the toilets at Asda, he wouldn't spring for a hotel room. In my defence he said it was a donkey, but it was way bigger than that more like a horse. Punters will tell you anything for a five finger discount.
But surely that's a direct quote from Winifred Atwell? 
It gives me a headache sometimes but I like to stare at the sun
I start every day with an intricate ceremony involving soap on a rope and a plastic snail before filling up a miniature goblet on the sideboard with tap water.