Chris Hallam
Friday 2nd October 2015 7:58am
Exeter
1,400 posts
Here are my rejected one liners from this week. Any suggestions welcome! (well, most suggestions anyway...)
An opinion poll has revealed that 52% of us believe in the existence of aliens. A further poll suggests that 98% of Daily Mail readers think that aliens are already here and that the lazy green bastards should bloody well get a proper job or go back where they came from.
Observers in Brighton were astounded to see a rare natural phenomenon this week which caused the Labour Party to briefly appear much larger than usual and to go redder than it has done at any time since about 1981. The sight is unlikely to last long, however, due to heat from The Sun. And The Daily Mail.
Close examination of footage by Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler has revealed he began every speech with the phrase, "You know, I'm not racist but..."