I would have wrote would have but I wrote would of. I can only imagine what would of been.
Don't ban me.
Admit An Obscure Truth About Yourself Page 2
It's past one of the clock in the morning and I can't sleep. Obscure - nah? The truth - yeah. Can I handle the truth? Pretty much.
That's an obscure enough truth isn't it?
I have a left nipple where my right nipple should be and a right nipple where my left nipple should be.
Sometimes I can hear people mocking me as I walk down the street. I've been approached by Channel 5 to make a documentary about my plight. I refused, I still have some dignity.
Quote: DougWonnacott @ 1st October 2015, 8:49 PM BSTI have a left nipple where my right nipple should be and a right nipple where my left nipple should be.
Sometimes I can hear people mocking me as I walk down the street. I've been approached by Channel 5 to make a documentary about my plight. I refused, I still have some dignity.
Lily Allen has three nipples apparently, as has Scaramanga. As for myself, I have eight - four on my front, two on my forehead and the other two are located behind my knees.
Quote: TheBlueNun @ 1st October 2015, 10:34 PM BSTLily Allen has three nipples apparently, as has Scaramanga. As for myself, I have eight - four on my front, two on my forehead and the other two are located behind my knees.
I hope you don't lactate. You'll drown.
When I was 10 I got caught shop lifting at Pontins in North Wales. At the end of the holiday I had a wardrobe full of bum bags, posters and sweets. My mum made me take it all back to shop and admit that I'd stolen it.
The security guy said he knew all along and that he had friends in the police. If I was ever to be caught shop lifting again this episode would be brought in front of the judges and I'd go to jail for ever. I believed him.
I still believe him.
Quote: DougWonnacott @ 1st October 2015, 8:49 PM BSTI have a left nipple where my right nipple should be and a right nipple where my left nipple should be.
Sometimes I can hear people mocking me as I walk down the street. I've been approached by Channel 5 to make a documentary about my plight. I refused, I still have some dignity.
Genius!
I'm mildly outraged about 'parent and child' parking spaces at supermarkets. F**k you! It's not our fault you've got a kid, just walk like the rest of us for f**k sake!
Quote: Mikey88 @ 2nd October 2015, 6:00 AM BSTI'm mildly outraged about 'parent and child' parking spaces at supermarkets. F**k you! It's not our fault you've got a kid, just walk like the rest of us for f**k sake!
Yes! I don't remember it being a problem when I had my two. That's what legs are for. What I really, really don't understand is why the 'Parent and Child' places are nearest to the shop, while the disabled people are placed further away. Doesn't seem logical or compassionate.
I thought parent and child spaces were just wider - to have more room around the car to get prams and all that out.
That doesn't explain why they're closer to the shop though.
Especially with the obesity pandemic!
Another obscure fact about myself is that I park in them. I don't have a kid but if anyone ever said anything I have a ready thought out story about how I'm meeting my ex and picking up the kids - she's got the car seats etc
Alternatively you could just tell them to go f*** themselves. How legally binding are these rules? If they tell you to bugger off, they've lost a customer. Think I should try this myself and see what happens.
Quote: zooo @ 2nd October 2015, 3:01 PM BSTI thought parent and child spaces were just wider - to have more room around the car to get prams and all that out.
That doesn't explain why they're closer to the shop though.
That's exactly right Zoo. If you've got a child in a removable seat it's much easier to access it.
Quote: Mikey88 @ 2nd October 2015, 6:07 PM BSTEspecially with the obesity pandemic!
Another obscure fact about myself is that I park in them. I don't have a kid but if anyone ever said anything I have a ready thought out story about how I'm meeting my ex and picking up the kids - she's got the car seats etc
Sigh.
Quote: keewik @ 2nd October 2015, 2:58 PM BSTYes! I don't remember it being a problem when I had my two. That's what legs are for. What I really, really don't understand is why the 'Parent and Child' places are nearest to the shop, while the disabled people are placed further away. Doesn't seem logical or compassionate.
Fair enough.
When I was a little kid I went on a school trip and stood in giant cow turd - it went up to near my knee!
also, I once shot a cat with an air rifle. Sorry about that (he was fine btw).
I once did a little copywriting for a Japanese porn site.
Quote: Mikey88 @ 2nd October 2015, 10:38 PM BSTWhen I was a little kid I went on a school trip and stood in giant cow turd - it went up to near my knee!
also, I once shot a cat with an air rifle. Sorry about that (he was fine btw).
You bastard!