One of the best stingy cards I ever received was a small square of obviously recycled white card, with a simple ink stamp of Santa on the front. Inside was the message:
Money's short,
Times are hard,
Here's your f**king
Christmas card.
I have subsequently made many of these cards myself from old boxes of tampons and breakfast cereal and also from the card that comes in certain packaging for underpants.
All hail Australia's new Poet Laureate!
Quote: Lee Henman @ October 5 2010, 12:29 AM BSTby and large the vast majority or "normal" members of the public still want to go into a shop and buy an appropriate card for a birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, or whatever. And most people expect that too. For instance I made a load of home-made Christmas cards last year out of pipe cleaners and glue and glitter and my Dad said "Bloody Hell, can't you afford real ones?"
That's a real shame. Nothing shows love and care more than cutting up an empty box of tampons to make a birthday card for a loved one. Last week I received two cards from my cousin's daughters (aged 4 and 7) thanking me for looking after them for a few days recently - and their cards were ones they had made themselves, with drawings and mini-collage-glued things - vastly preferable to some store bought cards. I'll only buy a card if it's inappropriate. Though in my younger years I used to buy Far Side cards a lot when they were all the rage.
Kenneth, what's with this mountain of tampon boxes you have? Where do you live, Menstruation Avenue? 
Quote: Lee Henman @ October 5 2010, 12:29 AM BSTthe vast majority or "normal" members of the public still want to go into a shop and buy an appropriate card for a birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, or whatever. And most people expect that too. For instance I made a load of home-made Christmas cards last year out of pipe cleaners and glue and glitter and my Dad said "Bloody Hell, can't you afford real ones?"
I've also gone the 'inappropriate card' route by altering shop-bought cards; for example, for an 18th birthday, buy one that says "you are 8" and very obviously prefix it with the numeral 1. But I've had people not understand this, and wonder why I didn't conform to buying a 'proper' card. There's so much ritual and convention involved in card-giving for some people.
Often people suggest I should market my artwork as greetings cards, and indeed I have had them printed and sold them at my exhibitions, but in a way it devalues the original work so I stopped doing that. I would love to get on board with a big publisher, but I've no idea how to go about it.
Quote: Lee Henman @ October 5 2010, 3:57 AM BSTKenneth, what's with this mountain of tampon boxes you have? Where do you live, Menstruation Avenue?
I ask a few female friends to save the empty boxes for me, fond as I am of recycling. They can also be used to make dandy postcards - hopefully giving someone at the Post Office some amusement or weary bewilderment at the sender's apparent impecuniousness.
Quote: Nogget @ October 5 2010, 6:34 AM BSTI've also gone the 'inappropriate card' route by altering shop-bought cards; for example, for an 18th birthday, buy one that says "you are 8" and very obviously prefix it with the numeral 1.
Likewise.
Quote: Nogget @ October 5 2010, 6:34 AM BSTI've also gone the 'inappropriate card' route by altering shop-bought cards; for example, for an 18th birthday, buy one that says "you are 8" and very obviously prefix it with the numeral 1. But I've had people not understand this, and wonder why I didn't conform to buying a 'proper' card. There's so much ritual and convention involved in card-giving for some people.
Possibly why card companies have so much money. In this country if you had your last quid in your pocket, you'd buy a Mother's Day card with it. Or most people would.
Quote: Nogget @ October 5 2010, 6:34 AM BSTOften people suggest I should market my artwork as greetings cards, and indeed I have had them printed and sold them at my exhibitions, but in a way it devalues the original work so I stopped doing that. I would love to get on board with a big publisher, but I've no idea how to go about it.
Go to Clintons, get a company's name off the back of a card, and email / phone them up. They're not nearly as difficult to contact as TV producers. 
It always amazes me how many old jokes make the range.
How does that happen?
Won't say which jokes, but many predate the chicken crossing the road.
Quote: Mikey Jackson @ October 5 2010, 4:18 PM BSTIt always amazes me how many old jokes make the range.
How does that happen?Won't say which jokes, but many predate the chicken crossing the road.
Pretty simple really; the people buying the jokes either don't know or care that the joke isn't original.
My mum almost insists on a homemade card.
Not sure how much she'd appreciate one made out of a tampax box though...
I love making my own cards. And people like receiving them
Hi!
I am the creative director for a greeting card company called Emotional Rescue. We're looking for new writers, if you contact us through out website www.thedogsdoodahs.com - we'll send you our creative brief!
Thanks!
Jen
Hi Jen
I've applied
thanks Joel
Happy Noel,
Love from Joel.
With apologies to Lee & Jen...
On my fortieth birthday my brother sent me a 'Happy 8th Birthday' card, with a picture of a racing car on the front, that he had bought from a charity shop. I then sent it to him on his next birthday. This card has now been passed back and forth between us for many years. This appeals to my sense of humour and his sense of tightness!