I convinced my mother sperm tastes nice. She swallowed it.
Tell us a joke Page 127
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 22nd September 2015, 8:54 AM BSTI convinced my mother sperm tastes nice. She swallowed it.
Wow.
Anyway...
I've got this Shakespearian pencil. I can't work out if it's 2B or not 2B.
I'm an avid stamp collector so if anyone wants to tread on my fingers, let me know.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 22nd September 2015, 8:54 AM BSTI convinced my mother sperm tastes nice. She swallowed it.
Um - yes!
Did you hear about the Welsh extreme sports adventurer - Dai Trying
People I photograph always look shocked.
I did warn them about the flash.
Quote: gappy @ 22nd August 2015, 5:11 PM BSTOr, how about...
I went into a bookshop and said to the assistant, "Have you got a book called How to Deal with Disappointment?"
He said, "Yes".
I said, "Oh, I don't need it any more"
just saw this very clever reverse
Quote: Woozie @ 22nd September 2015, 4:28 PM BSTI've got this Shakespearian pencil. I can't work out if it's 2B or not 2B.
Little know fact but Lady Macbeth had a dog, "Out damn Spot out!"
..
Julius Caesar and his friends are having lunch.
A serving maid brings in a tray of delicious cupcakes: a cake for each man.
She places the tray before Caesar who politely refrains from being first to take a cake and instead passes the tray to the man next to him who takes a cake and passes it to the next man, who in turn does the same until the plate returns to Caesar.
Caesar, who was expecting to eat the last cake on the tray, is surprised to find the tray empty.
He eyes his comrades suspiciously until his gaze falls upon Brutus, who looks rather sheepish.
"Ate two, Brute?"
Before we eat we always say 'Grace'.
We say "Grace... stop f**king eating our food you fat cow."
My friend kills elephants to sell ivory. Tsk, tsk!
I was faced with a very large door. I knocked it down to size.
Three pips on my shoulders, see?
You a Captain, sir?
No, I fell asleep under the apple tree.
I heard the Devil is into some serious fetishes. The horny bastard.
What's the difference between Mylie Cyrus and Madonna ? One enjoys being a big histrionic tart desperate for attention and Madonna doesn't enjoy it.
You can't get blood from a stone. But if you're Miley Cyrus, you can get jizz from a sledgehammer.
I took a photo of my dad wanking. Cheese!
Quote: Rood Eye @ 23rd September 2015, 11:07 AM BSTJulius Caesar and his friends are having lunch.
A serving maid brings in a tray of delicious cupcakes: a cake for each man.
She places the tray before Caesar who politely refrains from being first to take a cake and instead passes the tray to the man next to him who takes a cake and passes it to the next man, who in turn does the same until the plate returns to Caesar.
Caesar, who was expecting to eat the last cake on the tray, is surprised to find the tray empty.
He eyes his comrades suspiciously until his gaze falls upon Brutus, who looks rather sheepish.
"Ate two, Brute?"
Seriously!