British Comedy Guide

Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 209

Yogi lost his mind when he realised he'd forgotten a 'hip'

Older BCG members will recall Davey Jay as the lead in Enid Blyton's blockbuster "Noddy got a hard on". And although this gave him instant fame all around Basildon town centre he was left hopelessly typecast in roles with pointed hats with bells on. A bell end if there ever was one.

Hulk Hogan thought Frankie Rage was so disgusting, that now he would allow anyone to have sex with his daughter as long as it's not Frankie Rage.

Hello Friends

I am collecting for my friend. It's bad news I'm afraid. It's fatal. Basically, He's a romantic. The doctors have tried everything but there isn't a cure.

I'm just trying to give some happy moments. Only last week he had a good day. It's a bit of a secret but he had sex with the daughter of a celebrity. I won't mention any names but lets say it rhymes with Mulk Mogan.

I know it's probably not on everyone's wish list but he fulfilled one of his ambitions. Actually two ambitions. He also had a threesome that day.

In a completely unrelated matter Mulk Mogan is said to be searching for Frankie Rage.

Like the Mexicans that Donald Trump hasn't met, I assume Davey Jay is a potential rapist and criminal.

An Incurable Romantic used to paint the white lines along the middle of the freeway. We are not sure if he ran out of road or paint first however last we saw of him he was on his way to Darwin.

Strumpet is very religious - she only wears knickers on a Sunday, as it is a day of rest. :P

Hercules Grytpype Thynne (or better known to his intimates as "Pull back") has in fact three wives. This is nothing new but that none of his wives have ever met each other AND nor have they ever met him is thought to be fairly unique. As was the method of consummation via three simultaneous games of Ultimate tic-tac-toe whilst thinking "naughty thoughts".

In breaking news -

Frankie Rage's much anticipated move to forums.chortle.co.uk/ failed to go through before the transfer window closed today at 6pm. Amid much confusion both parties blamed each other for the transfer cock up with The BCG insisting they had faxed the relevent papers through with 5 minutes to spare.

Frankie refused to comment directly on the debacle but was later seen giving a slight shrug.

playfull likes to play pocket billiards, but in other people's pockets. :O

Dirty boy!

Hercules G-T does not pick his nose 'cos if he did pick his nose he wouldn't have picked that one!

Quote: Frankie Rage @ 2nd September 2015, 7:14 PM BST

Hercules G-T does not pick his nose 'cos if he did pick his nose he wouldn't have picked that one!

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose................that is, until Frankie did it at the check out in Pound Land and got a bargain he wasn't expecting.

Herc gets special mystical powers when he rubs the head of his magical chicken, Bernice

Lofthouse is the kind of gynocologist every women would like to have. He loves to contact his old patients to check that any treatments have worked out well for them and that they are doing ok.

Or at least that is what I think he meant when he said he really loves looking up his patients...

Playfull is rebranding himself as a pound store called 'Pound-on-my-Playfull-Arse'.

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