My boss pulled me in her office earlier.
So we're going on a date next week
1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready and... "how much is this song going to cost me?"
I've been put on this case recently looking for missing dogs.
I'm just working the leads
Somebody stole my glasses from under my nose
You wear your glasses on your upper lip?
40% of priests develop pedophile tendencies because they are isolated and frustrated and lack the outlet of marriage. The rest just like f**king kids.
These urine infections are p*ssing me off
I went for a job as a baker but the dough wasn't right!
Taxi driver said to me, "Where to mate?"
I said, "The Singles Club"
Quote: Reg N @ 26th August 2015, 10:36 AM BSTTaxi driver said to me, "Where to mate?"
I said, "The Singles Club"
pretty good that one
New western about Jeremy Corbyn
The wild, wild vest.
Quote: Reg N @ 26th August 2015, 10:36 AM BSTTaxi driver said to me, "Where to mate?"
I said, "The Singles Club"
I like that joke, but I think it's a bit subtle. If the answer had been "A whorehouse?" I'd have got it more quickly.
New show for necrophiliacs. The Wanking Dead.
I was buying some booze yesterday and the shop keeper kept saying how the drummer in cream was better than Keith Moon.
Sigh.....all I wanted was some Stone's Ginger wine
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 26th August 2015, 1:29 PM BSTNew show for necrophiliacs. The Wanking Dead.
I thought I was going to die yesterday when a cloud fell on me. Turns out I was just under the weather.
Are you sure it was a cloud and you weren't just having a think about nothing?
Helped my son fix his bicycle puncture over the weekend. We were bonding.
How do you make a budgie go quack?
Stick it in the deep freeze, then hit it with a hammer.