My wife's such a Beatles fan, she keeps shouting out song titles when we make love. Come together !
Yellow Submarine, that's what Ringo Star calls his gonorrhoea.
Tell us a joke Page 117
Quote: Nick81 @ 21st August 2015, 12:16 PM BSTMy cat used to star in the Whiskas ads
I'm a huge fan of Minder, so I very much enjoyed the Kattomeat ads which were never off the telly at one time.
Yes, I loved watching Arthur Daley and I also loved watching Arthur daily.
Quote: Nick Nockerty @ 21st August 2015, 4:10 PM BSTMy wife's such a Beatles fan, she keeps shouting out song titles when we make love. Come together !
Whenever I try to make love to my wife, she shouts "Get back!"
My idea of foreplay is to shout "brace yourself!"
This is a bit bad taste so I will delete it if it offends any of the BCG ladies.
They say you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, but if you use a sow's fanny you just have to put a zip on it.
Quote: Will Cam @ 21st August 2015, 7:56 PM BSTThey say you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, but if you use a sow's fanny you just have to put a zip on it.
That's one gag you'll never hear on The Muppet Show.
I went into a bookshop and said to the assistant, "Have you got a book called How to Deal with Disappointment?"
He said "No"
I was in the bookshop's philosophy section and the assistant came up to me and said "Why are you here?"
Chess players!
Did you know that only one of your Castles is genuine
The other one is just a Rookalike
Quote: Reg N @ 21st August 2015, 11:39 PM BSTI went into a bookshop and said to the assistant, "Have you got a book called How to Deal with Disappointment?"
He said "No"I was in the bookshop's philosophy section and the assistant came up to me and said "Why are you here?"
I really like both of these, nice semantic, funny jokes
Quote: sootyj @ 22nd August 2015, 7:29 AM BSTI really like both of these, nice semantic, funny jokes
+1
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 22nd August 2015, 1:34 AM BSTChess players!
Did you know that only one of your Castles is genuine
The other one is just a Rookalike
would it make it racist if you said Chinese chess players?
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 22nd August 2015, 1:34 AM BSTChess players!
Did you know that only one of your Castles is genuine
The other one is just a Rookalike
Yesterday I thought I saw that blonde fellah out of The Goodies, but it was just a Tim Brookealike Taylor.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 22nd August 2015, 1:34 AM BSTChess players!
Did you know that only one of your Castles is genuine
The other one is just a Rookalike
Quote: Nogget @ 22nd August 2015, 11:58 AM BSTYesterday I thought I saw that blonde fellah out of The Goodies, but it was just a Tim Brookealike Taylor.
In bed, my current girlfriend performs very much like my last girlfriend did.
(You know where this is going).
I was so proud of my Mother working so hard on her night shift at the warehouse. That was until I found out she was a dyslexic prostitute.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb ? on or too.
Quote: Rood Eye @ 21st August 2015, 3:55 PM BSTYou're mad on 'er, which is appropriate.
Lady Gaga has warned fans they may find parts of her next video inoffensive.
Nils put up your own blooming jokes!
Especially when that Jokes probably older than Batman.