If you were in government, what would you change? Page 2

Quote: keewik @ 15th August 2015, 9:32 PM BST

Well, there you are - I don't remember ever falling out with you. Yes. I like it here. I'm probably a sad person but I wouldn't be anywhere else. I despair of Britain. Tories are unfeeling aliens. Normally I try not to wish ill on anybody but I can't help wishing all these arses would become really poor so they can get a different perspective. Labour - truly don't know how Tony Blair sleeps at night. Jeremy Corbyn is a breath of fresh air but they're probably right that Labour will lose under him. How do we get to the pass where people with principles are losers?

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No we didn't fall out. Or if we did it was on account of confusion. Stand in an election. I will vote for you. And thanks for putting up with me calling you "love" which was a deliberately provocative but nicely meant thing. I don't normally call people "love" but am testing meself.

Get out of Europe, sterilise all our muslims, illigalise islam, turn all mosques into nightclubs and naughty clubs, ban foreign languages, subsidise all premiership tickets for British non office workers out of lawyers and bankers' higher taxes, give pay rises to our squaddies, illegalise garlic, sell Scotland to the yanks. That's on day one.

Lovely...

You're right, it would be very lovely.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 15th August 2015, 10:31 PM BST

Get out of Europe, sterilise all our muslims, illigalise islam, turn all mosques into nightclubs and naughty clubs, ban foreign languages, subsidise all premiership tickets for British non office workers out of lawyers and bankers' higher taxes, give pay rises to our squaddies, illegalise garlic, sell Scotland to the yanks. That's on day one.

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I just know this is a joke. Yes?

Why the hatred for garlic?

Quote: DaButt @ 15th August 2015, 11:07 PM BST

Why the hatred for garlic?

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Didn't you know that Alf was a vampire?

I'd beef up the country's technical skills if at all possible. My son's only young, but I'd like him to become an electrician or a plumber, something useful. Plus he'd have a van and he could complete work on my retirement home.*

*He'd hopefully be too gainfully employed to do this.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 15th August 2015, 10:31 PM BST

sell Scotland to the yanks.

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Quote: keewik @ 15th August 2015, 10:50 PM BST

I just know this is a joke. Yes?

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To protect you from yourselves. If you get Independence the Russians will be in quicker than you can say Angus McTavish.

1. Replace all roads with moving escalators, 4mph, sit cross-legged, hop on and off.

2. Ban umbrellas to save the nation's eyes - and the prams that are driven like tanks.

3. Build another Trident but send it into space on a rocket launcher.

4. Reintroduce the three-day week and television closing down at 10.30pm.

5. All middle class "professionals" sent to some island off Tasmania.

6. Outlaw speech so that everyone can only communicate verbally by singing.

7. Return to years beginning with the number 19 as the ones starting 20 are fascist.

8. Token government only comprising dogs, flowers and football mascots.