British Comedy Guide

I need a joke regarding high maintenance

Hi,

Can anyone provide me with a joke I can include in a best mans speech I am writing. I want to say the best man is more high maintenance than..........

I need something funny to finish off the sentence with.

More high maintenance than.......

Thanks

...fixing the aerial on top of Burj Khalifa (or any other tall building you think people will have heard of)

Quote: Jimnibob @ 12th August 2015, 12:33 PM BST

Hi,

Can anyone provide me with a joke I can include in a best mans speech I am writing. I want to say the best man is more high maintenance than..........

I need something funny to finish off the sentence with.

More high maintenance than.......

Thanks

.......The Forth Bridge.

....Elton John's wig bills.

...than a Calais fence.

or

...than Madonna's bingo wings.

More high maintenance than the Crawley's of Downton Abbey

......is more high maintenance than Donald Trump's candy floss hair helmet.

I'm not saying he is high maintenance but he makes being Bill Cosby's lawyer seem like a cake walk.

I'm not saying he is high maintenance but he but he makes 1 direction fans look like the W I

...than windows 8.

...is very high maintenance, mainly due to his popularity on Grindr.

Does the joke have to be in that format
He is more high maintenance than.....

A) it sounds like a set up joke rather than a funny line from a speech
B) High maintenance is not a familiar enough trait in general to be recognised quick enough for the joke to work well IMO

I wouldn't say Bob's high maintenance but I dread taking him in for his MOT every year.

High maintenance? Bob needs more care taking of him that Kyle Jenner's knockers or Kim Kardashian's bum.

Some people say 'jim' is high maintenance, but it's a difficult job looking mildly attractive for 6 hours a day

I'm not saying 'jim' is high maintenance, but he did make Bruce Jenner's transition to Caitlyn seem like a walk in the park

He's so high maintenance that he needs Angela Merkel's permission to leave the EU.

Even the London Underground can't afford his demands.

Or to build on earlier jokes...

He's more high maintenance than Trump's Tower.

He couldn't be any more high maintenance if he was an engineer on the International Space Station.

Fixing a light bulb on the International Space Station.

The first time we met, I knew Fred was going to be high-maintenance. He had a spanner in his pocket. Actually, at first I thought he was just pleased to see me.

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