The random old thread thread

People like to drag up old threads, so here's a thread to do it on.

Generate a random number using software like this: http://www.mathgoodies.com/calculators/random_no_custom.html

Set the limits between 1 and 32000
Hit enter, then paste the result on the end this:

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/

... hit quote, copy and paste the result here. So my first number is 725, which brings up:

Quote: Nats @ 3rd February 2007, 4:39 PM GMT

I am a third year student at John Moores University and am currently in the middle of doing my dissertation but am extremely behind on it so I would appreciate any help with the following.

I am looking for DVD'S or videos of episodes of the sitcom 'Til Death Us Do Part' but am unable to find them. I have found the film but it is the sitcom episodes that I really need, only about one series. If anyone can tell me where I can get these from or has any that they could possible send to me or I can buy off them then please could you let me know ASAP! I should be writing my first draft right now but am not due to this problem so I am really desperate and would appreciate any help!!

Thanks

Natalie x

View original

Then add your helpful, witty, or in my case, inane comment.

I'm afraid that's way beyond my capability.

Sometimes you're searching for something specific but then you see something more relevant listed.

Number 29767

Quote: James Willis @ 13th February 2014, 9:00 PM GMT

Hello all,
I've been wanting to get into comedy as an actor and writer, but have been unsure how to find people to help out and collaborate on things like sketches, short films etc.

I'm not a stand up, so don't perform live (unless I can find some form of character comedy open mic), and none of my friends are all that interested in comedy.

How do I find fellow budding comedians I can work and grow with?

Thanks,
James

View original

It looks as if no sod cared then, maybe someone can help James now.

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 24th July 2015, 11:01 AM BST

Number 29767

I looks as if no sod cared.

View original

True, but it's not easy for us to find mates for a random stranger. Maybe he should just try Tinder of Grindr, and put comedy as an interest.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/380

2nd December 2006, 12:59 AM GMT View user's profile Permalink

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/article/ds40228.html

Barry

Barry

I'm H.A.P.P.Y I'm H.A.P.P.Y I know I am I'm sure I am I'm H.A.P.P.......W H Y?

Very interesting as I wondered how you could see the very first post, which you can do if you suffix with 1 and you will get Aaron's welcome to BCG........BUT a bit ominous calling up the past as it seems the first person to post after that, a Colin Cliffe................died.

*looks*

I think that person was just being sarcastic!
Hopefully Sir Colin Cliffe is still going strong, somewhere.

Now when did I start this thread....
Oh It's Noggett.
Good thread Fred

Quote: zooo @ 24th July 2015, 3:38 PM BST

*looks*

I think that person was just being sarcastic!
Hopefully Sir Colin Cliffe is still going strong, somewhere.

View original

Well, wayne lewis (for it was he that broke the "news") didn't sound sarcastic and Colin Cliffe did only post twice that autumn that BCG started, so..........

Just reads like an offhand joke to me. And how would he even know him if he only posted twice?

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/1 if anyone's wondering what we're on about.

Of course if it was true, RIP and all that.

There's the possibility that he did know him.

What we need is for him to see this thread and tell us!

Oh, my darling, knock three times on the ceiling if you want me

Quote: Chappers @ 24th July 2015, 10:52 AM BST

I'm afraid that's way beyond my capability.

View original

It just requires basic word processing skills, like cut-and-paste. Surely you do that already? What I find interesting about this random approach is that it so often brings up long-forgotten people, and gives their posts another chance to be read.

Here's another one, a sitcom pilot with mixed reviews from someone who hasn't posted in many years. Too long to repost in its entirety.

EDIT: see original post for remainder of script https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/2925

Here is the first three scenes of a sitcom I am working on. The story is of two friends who meet. One is engaged, has a great job, etc, basically has a great, and getting better, life. The other, however, is going down the spout. They get drunk, and wake up six months later to find they have been arrested. Neither has a clue what happened, and throughout the series they will be trying to discover the details of their great binge. So without further delay, READ:

SCENE 1
EXT. STREET/OUTSIDE PUB [NIGHT - 11:40PM approx]

SCREEN GRAPHIC: "6 Months Ago"

DAVID IS WALKING DOWN THE STREET. NEVILLE IS STANDING IN THE PUB DOORWAY AS DAVID PASSES BY. NEVILLE NOTICES DAVID.

NEVILLE:
(QUIETLY) Dave? (SHOUTING AFTER DAVID) DAVE!

DAVID TURNS AROUND TO SEE NEVILLE AND LOOKS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED TO SEE HIM.

DAVID:
Nev? NEV!

BOTH CHARACTERS RUSH TOWARDS EACH OTHER AND SHAKE HANDS VIGOROUSLY.

NEVILLE:
Mate! How long's it been?

DAVID:
Oh, ages, last time a I remember seeing you was at that guys wedding a few months back.

NEVILLE:
What guy?

DAVID:
You know, the fat annoying bloke, what's his name?

NEVILLE:
The last wedding I was at was my own ...

DAVID:
No (SNAPS FINGERS TRYING TO REMEMBER) Mark Green?

NEVILLE:
Oh yes, now I remember. The father of the bride had Parkinson's disease, he kept dropping his wine glass.

etc

My randomiser came up with a crap script as well.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ 1st February 2009, 9:23 PM GMT

INT. SHOP.

A MAN IS COLLECTING HIS WIFE WHO HAS BEEN SHOPPING.

WOMAN:
Did you park in the multi-storey?

MAN:
No, high street.

WOMAN:
The traffic wardens patrol there, you'll get a ticket.

MAN:
I saw them about two miles away, we'll be fine.

CUT TO EXT.

WOMAN:
Is that your car parked outside Mothercare?

MAN:
Yeah, come on.

WOMAN:
I knew it, I bloody knew it.

MAN:
What?

CAMERA PANS TO CAR. THE TYRES ARE COVERED WITH NAPPIES.

WOMAN:
The pampers have been out.

View original

Quote: Paul Wimsett @ 25th July 2015, 8:22 AM BST

My randomiser came up with a crap script as well.

View original

Well...the pun didn't work, but the imagery was funny.
I got yet another

Quote: Joe Scholes @ 13th May 2013, 2:39 AM BST

My first attempt at writing a sketch - just a silly conversation, no real gag though :/

This sketch is about a man who turns up to Tavern in 1485AD and is bragging to his friends about his new horse that he has recently bought.

Man with Horse
Hey guys! Look what I have bought

Mate 1
Woah, is that what I think it is?

Man with Horse
That's right! A Horse! I have only gone and done it, what have we always said?

Mate 2
How could you afford it?

Man with Horse
Well I had been saving up for a rainy day but I just though sod it! You only live once.

Mate 1
She is a beauty

Man with Horse
You should get one. You would be surprised at how cheap a horse actually is these days, especially second hand.

Mate 2
Who did you buy that from?

Man with Horse
At an auction, that is how you pick up a bargain. Only one previous owner

Mate 2
Do you know who?

Man with Horse
It was only bloody King Richard III wasn't it!

etc etc

View original

This could use some very, very serious editing.