British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,749

Quote: keewik @ 5th July 2015, 10:14 PM BST

Can't believe these nutters in Greece are dancing in the streets. Don't they realise the bloody awful pickle they're in?

Quote: Nogget @ 6th July 2015, 8:44 AM BST

Yes, it must be terrible for them to face leaving the union... ;)

Should they fear the return of the Drack-Ma

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Honey, I'm home. Where's my welcome kiss.

Jesus crapping Christ.

Talk about enough to drink you to drive...

http://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2015/07/beer-based-biofuel-launched-in-new-zealand/

The New York Stock Exchange has halted trading due to a "technical problem."

Coming on the heels of a major plunge in China's exchange and the ongoing problems in Greece, it seems a little fishy. And then there was the "glitch" that grounded all of United's flights earlier in the day...

Whether it's a cyberattack or a worldwide market collapse, it could get very ugly. And someone will probably get very rich.

Good thing I bought some tinned beans and toilet paper, now I just need a brick in a sock to defend them.

Quote: sootyj @ 8th July 2015, 5:55 PM BST

Good thing I bought some tinned beans and toilet paper, now I just need a brick in a sock to defend them.

Laughing out loud

On the BBC news this morning "Labour voice their opposition to the Budget".

Really? F**king Hell, what is the world coming to........... :O

Police finally find the body of a man and a critically injured woman 3 days after it was reported that a car had left the motorway - WTF were they doing all that time. (The police that is, before Chappers chimes in with another poor pun)

It was a miracle that the poor woman was still alive and it makes you wonder if the man could have been saved if the police had responded properly to the report of the accident in the first place. Angry

'Today six youths cornered a feral cat and released their bull terriers. Despite protests the cat was torn apart and the gang went off to celebrate in a nearby pub. Animal Rights groups reacted angrily and called for the gang to receive heavy jail sentences when caught. Police have posted CCTV pictures and asked the public for their help in identifying those involved.

In other new today the Government has cleared the way for the resumption of fox hunting in England and Wales.'

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RIP

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 10th July 2015, 4:45 PM BST
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RIP

That's a particularly gorgeous photo of him. I can't bear the thought of him having Alzheimer's Maybe the heart attack was a good release.

Duke of Edinbugh needs his arse kicked. Old bastard with arse hanging out of his trousers (his uncle's description) was lucky enough that ape woman fancied him and he thinks he can throw his weight about re a bloody photograph. I loathe the swine. To the guillotine!

Quote: keewik @ 10th July 2015, 11:31 PM BST

Duke of Edinbugh needs his arse kicked. Old bastard with arse hanging out of his trousers (his uncle's description) was lucky enough that ape woman fancied him and he thinks he can throw his weight about re a bloody photograph. I loathe the swine. To the guillotine!

But that's what you always say

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 11th July 2015, 12:43 AM BST

But that's what you always say

I'll say it again, if you like. Laughing out loud

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