ALTON TOWERS have named their latest rollercoaster Gazza after customers labelled the ride as ‘f**king mental.’
What's the funniest joke you've heard recently? Page 7
Whats the difference between a Fetish and a perversion?
With a fetish you use a feather.
With a perversion you use the whole chicken.
A woman was in a romantic clinch with her new man, and decided to throw caution and decorum to the wind.
"Oh Henry", she gasped passionately, "Kiss me where it's smelly and dirty!"
And Henry said "If you think I'm driving all the way to Middlesbrough this time of night..."
(OR)
I was hungry last night, so I phoned the pizza shop and asked for a thin and crispy Supreme. They delivered Diana Ross.
Did you hear about the cannibal's son?
He was eight before he was seven.
this is very sick. Please do not read if you do not like sick & twisted.
One day a little girl was watching cartoons when a porno came through. The little girl asked her mom "What are they doing?" The girls mum said "baking a cake."
Then the next day they were walking in the park and there were these people making out and the girl said "look mummy they are baking a cake!"
The next day the girl says "mummy you and daddy were baking a cake last night."
Her mum replied "how did you know?" The girl said "because I licked the icing off the sofa!"
or
A kid is on the kitchen floor playing with his new train while his mother cooks dinner. He goes around the track once, twice then stops. He then announces “ All you mother f**kers getting on get on, all you mother f**kers getting off get off!” His mother stands there in shock not believing what she just heard. She decides to wait a few minutes and see what happens. Sure enough the kid goes around the track once, twice then stops. He then announces “ All you mother f**kers getting on get on, all you mother f**kers getting off get off!” His mother quickly yanks the little boy up by the arm an explains to him that “ Son we do not know any mother f**kers, all we know are nice people. Now you go to your room and think about what you have done.” The little boy runs crying off to his room and shuts the door.
About two hours later the little boys’ mother comes to his room and asks him if he has learned his lesson. “ Yes mama, all we know is nice people, “ he explains. “ That’s right son, now you can play with your train now”.
The little kid goes back into the kitchen and sits down to play with his train. He goes around the track once, twice then stops. He then announces “ All you nice people getting on get on, all you nice people getting off get off, and all you mother f**kers worried about the two hour delay go see the bitch in the kitchen”
or
How many sexists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None
Let the bitch cook in the dark!
This one is terrible BTW. Just terrible.
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream in the night?
Cot death
I like the first and the last ones best.
Charley and ContainsNuts
NEWS JUST IN:
Economists have estimated that the recent earth tremors in Hull caused £50,0000 worth of improvement.
After his first meal in prison, Ipswich Ripper Steve Wright was asked if he'd had enough to eat. He replied "I could murder another tart".
Paul Gasgoigne has been found in a hotel room, having sex with a teletubbie. Psychiatric reports confirm that he's f**king La-La.
Lee Knight, the man whose wife poisoned him with antifreeze, has issued a statement saying, "I'm now blind, almost deaf and can't walk properly, but look on the bright side - I don't feel the cold anymore"
In a recent survey 97% of Liverpudlians admitted to having sex in the shower.
The other 3% had never been to prison.
I want to be a regular at Perry's pub 
Haha, very good Perry. Didn't think that the antifreeze one was quite as good though.
Huzzah Peri they're all killers!
I love Garfield without Garfield! xD
I like lasagne without Garfield. Bloody cat!
Quote: ian_w @ February 28, 2008, 6:07 PMZooo please enlighten me with my small brain but I just don't get it/them
It's Garfield. It's not meant to be funny.