Bounceback! 
Tell us a joke Page 105
My act is patronised by the Queen. She says, 'I think it's very nice Michael; don't listen to those beastly critics.'
I think Spiderman works as a photographer for The Daily Bugle because he is a nosy Parker.
Initial reports of Police shooting a cow turn to disappointment when it was discovered not to be Katie Hopkins...!
I met my girlfriend at the coconut shy at the fairground. We just hit it off.
It wasn't from an official source but I heard that the cow the police shot was framed. I heard it on the bovine. >_<
Is that joke The Bovine Comedy?
Will you tell me how many German words you know?
Nine!
My friend spilt a game of Scrabble all over the road! I said what's the word on the street?...
Quote: Matt Senior @ 21st May 2015, 3:58 PM BSTMy friend spilt a game of Scrabble all over the road! I said what's the word on the street?...
One of Tim Vines.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 21st May 2015, 7:43 PM BSTOne of Tim Vines.
Well observed sir!
Why don't you get pharmaceutical medicine in the jungle?
The parrots-eat-em-all.
I just knocked over a can of alphabet Spaghetti
I thought "That could have spelt disaster"
Quote: Matt Senior @ 21st May 2015, 10:08 PM BSTWell observed sir!
Why don't you get pharmaceutical medicine in the jungle?
The parrots-eat-em-all.
Now I heard that one about 40 years ago.
Heard about the albino with diarrhoea? Fair do's.
I shat myself when my parachute nearly never opened last week. I had an adrenalin dump.