Quote: playfull @ 26th May 2015, 1:51 AM BST
Have done two separate stints. Both times provided enough material for a decent if unbelievable comedy.
Having been chosen for one jury the defendant was brought up from the cells below the court and recognising me shouted across the court "Hello Perry, how are you". Everyone then watched amused as I had to pass a note to the judge asking to be excused and sheepishly exited the courtroom.
Another time we retired to the jury room and after a brief discussion took our first vote on a show of hands with 10 people voting for 'guilty' and 3 people voting for 'not guilty'. It transpired that one of our number did not speak a word of English!
During a particularly long, rambling and incoherently mumbled questioning of a witness by a solicitor the judge interrupted as he felt compelled to remind him and the jury that he was supposed to be defending his client, as this wasn't readily apparent from his line of questioning.
Once deliberating in the Jury room the bailiff is not supposed to 'interfere' with the process. We had one who kept putting her head around the door and enquiring in an ever increasingly irritated fashion what was taking so long. She actually said "this is supposed to be an open and shut case" and later that the judge was "really annoyed at the time we were taking". When we finally decided on a verdict she was ushering us all down the stairs to the courtroom when one of the jurors complained of chest pains and shortness of breath. The bailiff was only concerned with getting us all to the court and insisted the unfortunate man must continue on to the court. Myself and another juror insisted he sit down and refused to leave him until she got him some medical assistance. She was furious but we would not budge. It turned out her attempts to rush us had nothing to do with the Judge, she just had a hair appointment booked.
I remember retiring to one Jury room thinking well this won't take long as the police had not presented any actual evidence linking the defendant with the crime he was charged with. A particularly arrogant man appointed himself as chairman and announced there was no need for a vote as "he's obviously guilty". Amazed, I asked him what he based this on as there was no actual evidence that pointed to this - to which he replied "well you have only got to look at him to see he did it".
All the above are true!
Good stuff playfull and the brother of a friend of mine was called Perry although I can't now remember which friend. On your last point, I had a next door neighbour - the one before the infamous member of the boy band - who was a stereotypically hard looking geezer with a voice and manner that fitted it.
Actually he did have a heart of gold side to him but only to those he felt were alright - me for example but only just about and on a good day - plus a certain level of tolerance that I probably don't have. For example, if I was driving a bus and a load of youths threw stones at my window, I wouldn't just turn the bus around but rather throw a few back and then drive like a total nut case away from the situation, ultimately taking both it and all the passengers to Dover and onto a ferry to prove a point.
Anyhow, he had been up before the courts a couple of times and had an issue with being regularly picked on by the police because he looked the way he did. And he once met a guy in a pub who told him he was a judge. So my neighbour asked him if he would reckon he was guilty just on the basis of his appearance and the judge says as quick as a flash "yes absolutely, guilty as sin". Which really tells you all you need to know about those in positions of that sort. They should be bin men (and women).