I did the one where one jury member says to another member "I've seen you somewhere before". That other person says "I really don't think so" and she says "no, I'm sure, it was in Yorkshire". And then she says "weren't you a social democrat or something many years ago" at which point it gets scary. Finally she says "oddly enough I'm standing to be a Lib Dem councillor soon here in Sutton".
So then the guys who had the shorn off golf clubs arrive and they have allegedly broken in to the home of an old person. They speak all cockney geezer like and deny everything. They go and the respectable middle aged lady starts talking. She explains how she saw what happened and was so mad about it that she drove at 100mph to catch up with them. There was a traffic jam but she found them drinking lager in a park. She is asked to describe them and she goes into loads of convincing detail - haircuts, height, leg measurement - and she especially mentions a mustard coloured shirt.
"Like this one found in the apartment of one of the accused?" she is asked as a mustard shirt is produced. "Exactly" she replies. The Lib Dem says to someone - me I think - "oh this case is very clear cut, they are guilty as sin". Then the blokes come back and the one who had worn the mustard shirt is asked whether it is his shirt. "Yes", he says. So then he is asked to roll up his sleeves as he is wearing an ordinary white shirt and the entire court room gasps. His arms are covered in tattoos. The nice lady never mentioned tattoos at all. Consequently we are advised to find them both not guilty.
So anyhow we leave and the Lib Dem woman and I are the only two going to get a train. We get on the platform and she says "oh my God, look it's them with a big bunch of their mates". I say it hardly matters as we didn't find them guilty and anyhow they won't be in our carriage. The train arrives, we start talking about the election, and all of a sudden the entire bunch pile in. They have found us. They are there to sit on the adjoining seats where they chant in sing songy fashion "We did it and you let us off, we did it and you let us off, hah, hah, hah". That in a nutshell was my experience of jury service. Those who admitted guilt were free if never seen by us again. And she didn't get elected.