This is a sketch but it's also a true story from the late 90s as told by one of the people involved. I think you'll guess which one. 
NIGHT CLUB. A VERY ATTRACTIVE GIRL WITH LONG BLONDE HAIR IS APPROACHED BY A YOUNG MAN.
RIO: Hiya darling.
AMANDA: (DISINTERESTED) Oh hello.
RIO: My name's Rio Ferdinand.
BLANK LOOK
RIO: I'm a Premiership footballer. I play for West Ham United
AMANDA: Tell someone who gives a shit.
END
You've written better. You made my favourite mistake, do a topical skit, on a story not many people have heard of.
Yea got to admit I do not follow footie & do not understand. I am sure some footie fanatics will though.
I thought it funny coz the gobshite thinks he's God's gift and that just saying he's a footballer will mean he'll get the girl. It's a spin on 'Don't you know who I am?'
Probably best to introduce that as just a true story...not sure its really a "sketch" in any sense???
I think he left West Ham 8 years ago, but i get the jist
Quote: Tuumble @ February 28, 2008, 8:59 PM'Don't you know who I am?'
No - are you an arsehole?
There's nothing to "get" here guys, just a true story of a celebrity thinking that a girl will go with him because he is famous, and a lovely comeback from the girl. Nice story mate