British Comedy Guide

General Election 2015 Page 11

I went for a walk this morning, and took a couple of photos of houses I saw.
This is outside Steve Coogan's multi-million pound home which is near me:
Image

And this is outside a house about a mile away:
Image

It seems to say something about what these parties represent now.

Quote: Nogget @ 25th April 2015, 10:49 AM BST

It seems to say something about what these parties represent now.

Or indeed, who.

Quote: Gussie Fink Nottle @ 20th April 2015, 9:37 PM BST

So, I'm not wanting to own my own machine gun and 16 year old boys are just not my thing.

It was just a crude example of selfishness. My preference is to own boys and sleep with a 16 year old machine gun.

Quote: Chappers @ 21st April 2015, 10:38 PM BST

That's a page I can skip.

Laughing out loud

Unlike you I can read and I actually like the posters but I can't read it either.

Cameron on Football -

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2015-32462250

Not so much a brain fade as a sincerity vacuum.

Yes well put. This has been Cameron's biggest problem since he emerged, very slick and media savvy performer but insincere and opportunistic. Everything seems carefully chosen to fit an image. It's thought he chose Villa to suck up to fellow Etonian Prince William and keep in with the royals. He should be made the patron saint of networking.

It makes me like Milliband even more because he doesn't have any of the clever image making crap Cameron does, until recently he's been almost entirely unselfaware. I don't give a f**k how a PM eats a bacon sarnie! Don't turn him in to Cameronesque media mannequin.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 26th April 2015, 10:16 AM BST

Yes well put. This has been Cameron's biggest problem since he emerged, very slick and media savvy performer but insincere and opportunistic. Everything seems carefully chosen to fit an image. It's thought he chose Villa to suck up to fellow Etonian Prince William and keep in with the royals. He should be made the patron saint of networking.

It makes me like Milliband even more because he doesn't have any of the clever image making crap Cameron does, until recently he's been almost entirely unselfaware. I don't give a f**k how a PM eats a bacon sarnie! Don't turn him in to Cameronesque media mannequin.

Thanks Alf. You are right. I didn't know he was supposed to be a Villa fan but I did know about William being an Aston Villa supporter and the connection seemed to be more than coincidental.

The location of Villa does, of course, combine concepts of the myth that's Middle England and, in the main, "ordinary, decent, working people" so politically it is conveniently chosen to appeal to swing voters. How did West Ham enter the equation? He could just have Lutfur Rahman on his mind.

One other thing that struck me was that both Villa and the Hammers play in claret and blue which sort of sums up the depth of any conviction. It's his political party and very probably his favourite drink.

The error occurred just six miles north of me. As some have pointed out, the nearest team is Crystal Palace. They too until 1973 were in claret and blue but are now in blue and red. The fact that they were overlooked completely in his speech could suggest that a national coalition of the Tories and Labour is not on the cards after all or it is too terrible an idea in Dave's head he isn't able to go there.

Footnote: At times like these, I think of Angela Merkel. I wonder, is she a genuine football fan?

I wish I could own a machine gun. Technically, I can, but they're $25,000+, so anyone who promises to make them cheaper will get my vote.

Also, Up The Villa!

Other trends noted:

Farage, 24 April - Ukip leader Nigel Farage has revealed that he is undergoing treatment for back pain after speculation about his health. He added "I started the campaign and think I made some mistakes". For which read he's so behind in that Thanet constituency it is now the sympathy vote or nothing. He has, of course, said he will stand down as leader if not elected. But people like that just don't stand down. Griffin, Adams and even Salmond never "stood down" in any recognisable sense.

Miliband, persistently - Has undertaken to be the first PM to deliver more than he promises. For which read if he does become the PM, he could do almost anything and probably will do, claiming he has the voters' full support. There is definitely a megalomaniac in him waiting for fate to deliver total power.

Also:

I am going to the bookies tomorrow to ask how much money will come to me if I get the surname of the SECOND black American President right. I want to put at least a fiver on that name being Obama.

Lord help us if that comes true. I'm sick enough of the Bush and Clinton dynasties.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 26th April 2015, 11:55 AM BST

One other thing that struck me was that both Villa and the Hammers play in claret and blue which sort of sums up the depth of any conviction.

And Burnley.

Quote: DaButt @ 26th April 2015, 3:53 PM BST

Lord help us if that comes true. I'm sick enough of the Bush and Clinton dynasties.

Yes. :)

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 26th April 2015, 4:17 PM BST

And Burnley.

Yes. :)

How exciting!! My Tory candidate who'll be newly elected in May has e-mailed me to say "Dear Mr Horseradish - Thank you for your e-mail correspondence. I do not consider an urban area like our constituency suitable for fracking. Kind regards, His first name." Does anyone know which part of eBay is best for selling off 29 kalashnikovs, ten tons of smoke bomb and two old Russian tanks?

Latest:

Is this the most normal Ed Miliband has ever seemed?

I think it might be. He wins it by miles.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2015-32471755

(That's not to say that the left hand isn't held like a lady or the smile isn't pure Latter Day Saints)

Sent to the Labour and UKIP candidates this evening: "I am very disappointed not to have heard from you. It suggests to me that voters are being dismissed in favour of top-down hype. The Con and Lib Dem candidates have written to me and confirmed they would oppose fracking in this constituency".

Phew. At last. I have finally received an e-mail communication from the Benn dynasty. "Dear My Name, I apologise I missed your previous emails. I have in face just last night sent off an email to sign the no fracking in Our Constituency pledge, if I am elected. Best Wishes, Emily". Apart from the fairly trivial points that she got my name - and gender - wrong and "face" should read "fact" - I am genuinely delighted by this development. The Tory MP-to-be is opposed. Ditto Labour who now run the Council.

Here we go.
Apparently Eddie Miliband has declared in an interview with the 'Muslim News' that he'll outlaw 'islamophobia' by toughening up hate crime legislation. Wonderful.

This is rather relevant to comedic matters, I guess.
Anyone remember the Racial and Religious Hatred Act 2006?
(Alright, don't all shout at once.)
It was when we got Rowan Atkinson and other comedians pointing out that the proposed statute would restrict their ability to poke fun at religion.

As a result to opposition from all round the initially proposed law was narrowly defeated and a less stringent statute was drafted and voted through the house.
But what about Eddie Miliband? He voted for the initial tougher statute. (So, against Rowan Atkinson and the other comics.)

You know how politicians are never wrong?
Well, it appears Eddie wasn't wrong. And he wants another go at it.
So it seems we need to see more people arrested for telling a 'wrong' joke on twitter.

Huzzah. Up the workers.

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