Tell us a joke Page 98

Quote: AndyGWiz @ 25th April 2015, 10:14 AM BST

There was a girl called Victoria
Who once played for Sampdoria
She got her kicks
From scoring hat-tricks
For years fans were in euphoria.

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Good rhymes, but your scansion is a wee bit askew. Could I be so bold as to suggest something like

There once was a girl called Victoria
Who played Centre Half for Sampdoria.
She used to get kicks
Racking up the hat-tricks,
Which sent the crowds into euphoria.

(With a beard)

An Engish man walks into a bar in London.
He broke his nose.

(Not my joke - but new wave and it works)

Quote: gappy @ 17th December 2013, 7:28 PM GMT

When it was cold they wore multiple trousers...or Menelaus.

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Eumaius well use that joke.

Thanks gappy,

I wrote this 20 years ago and just remembered it recently. I had to change the last line as I had the wrong tense. But yours works really good. And I see I missed out a syllable a line by your new scansion. Super. Hopefully Michael 'Bob McIntrye' Monkhouse agrees.

I bought shares in Tetley. It turned out to be a mugs game.

I bought shares in Tetley's to beer shareholder.

I'm making a movie about which is the best teabag
it's rated PG

Very good to The Two Stephens.

So you got those shares IPO or IPA Stephen?

Who is making your film Steve? Lyons-gate

I don't like coffee. It's not my cup of tea.

Tea hee

Quote: billwill @ 25th April 2015, 10:17 AM BST

So the technigue is:

1. Take an old joke that was so good and worked so well it became well known
2. destroy the punchline
3. call it new wave down beat comedy

I have news for you: It doesn't work!

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I was going to tell an antijoke

But I like my mum's sister.

I need tea. Haven't had it for s-Oolong.

I bought an agressive budge for my wife. Fortunately she's impeckable.

I used to buy coffee from Caffè Nero, but they are always fiddling their customers. It's a blooming mocha-ry.

My lawyer specializes in Coffee Law. He's a Barista.

Quote: AndyGWiz @ 26th April 2015, 10:57 AM BST

I used to buy coffee from Caffè Nero, but they are always fiddling their customers.

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-So, what grade did you give that Caffe, Nero?
-C, baroni.

Someone asked me to be in a beverage based movie for no fee. I should coco.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 26th April 2015, 9:45 AM BST

I need tea. Haven't had it for s-Oolong.

I bought an agressive budge for my wife. Fortunately she's impeckable.

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Budgie?